1. Cover
2. Insert
3. Title Page
4. Copyright
5. Prologue—Yuuta Asamura
6. September 3 (Thursday)—Yuuta Asamura
7. September 3 (Thursday)—Saki Ayase
8. September 4 (Friday)—Yuuta Asamura
9. September 4 (Friday)—Saki Ayase
10. September 24 (Thursday)—Yuuta Asamura
11. September 24 (Thursday)—Saki Ayase
12. September 25 (Friday)—Yuuta Asamura
13. September 25 (Friday)—Saki Ayase
14. September 26 (Saturday)—Saki Ayase
15. September 26 (Saturday)—Yuuta Asamura
16. September 27 (Sunday)—Yuuta Asamura
17. September 27 (Sunday)—Saki Ayase
18. September 28 (Monday)—Yuuta Asamura
19. Afterword
20. Yen Newsletter
21. Frontispiece and illustrations by Hiten

It can’t be our destiny to part ways, because destiny is all about coming together.

A girl just cut her long hair short.

In a romance novel, something like that would be a major event. But in real life, it was no big deal. Maybe it was too hot in the summer. Maybe it was getting in the way. Maybe she just wanted a change.

There were any number of possible reasons, and it was pointless to try and guess what she was thinking. It might even be considered an invasion of her privacy.

There was no reason for me to overreact. I should just play it cool and accept it.

I, Yuuta Asamura, probably shouldn’t think anything of it. The obvious course of action was for me to accept it as just another mundane occurrence.

I wasn’t certain, however. I’d never had a stepsister before, and I’d never encountered such an event in real life. I wished I could ask every older brother with a younger stepsister in the country about their experience.

For starters, I never dreamed that my dad, who was over forty, would get drunk at a work event and wind up marrying the pretty woman who took care of him. In fact, when he told me he was getting married again, my first reaction wasn’t joy at his good fortune but concern.

Is this going to be okay?

Is he being duped?

I’d been right there as my parents’ marriage fell apart and ended in divorce, and I remembered everything. After that experience, I stopped expecting anything from women.

I’d listened to my parents fight all night long, seen my mom look at me and my dad with cold eyes. And in the end, she’d cheated on him. At least I hadn’t been neglected, but that was about all you could say for my childhood. When my parents told me they were getting divorced, I was more relieved than sad.

My birth mother was the only woman I knew well, and she was someone who laughed off her own behavior while expecting the world from me and Dad, and being bitterly disappointed when we didn’t measure up. My memories of her were all negative.

Because of her, I’d stopped expecting things from other people.

That was why I was so relieved when my new stepsister set the tone for our relationship.

“I won’t expect anything from you, and I don’t want you to expect anything from me.”

To me, that sounded like the most honest relationship I could hope for.

She might be living in my house, but she wasn’t going to demand anything, nor would she be walking on eggshells around me. Instead, she suggested that we coordinate and compromise.

That kind of dry, neutral relationship was exactly what I wanted, and that was the type of girl Saki Ayase was.

I was convinced we’d get along well and become the kind of siblings Dad and Akiko hoped for. I was sure of it.

But there was a big difference between us.

I was a guy who found it troublesome to go against the grain. I tended to bend to the prevailing wind and let things blow over me. I’d listen to what others had to say and go along with it.

But Ayase wasn’t like that.

She didn’t like giving in to social pressure. She wanted the strength to fight back against those who would impose silly stereotypes on her and to force them to yield.

Ayase was working hard to be able to live independently. She put in the effort to raise her grades, always ranked high on tests, and had even worked on her appearance so others would see her as attractive.

She said her look was like her armor. The shiny earrings and long bleached hair blowing in the breeze meant she was ready for battle.

As the days went by, I saw how she lived, and before I knew it, I had developed a great interest in Saki Ayase.

Then, at the end of August, about three months after I began living with her, my stepsister cut her hair.

It probably didn’t mean anything. Haircuts like that were only significant in TV shows and novels—in fiction.

But a month later, something did change.

“Hi, Ayase.”

“Hey, Asamura.”

Interactions like that vanished from our lives.

Autumn had arrived.

I opened the door to our apartment and announced quietly that I was home.

I proceeded along the hallway, lit only by a dim night-light, to the living room.

It was deserted.

Dad worked a regular job, and he had gone to bed a long time ago. Akiko worked at night and was out. Ayase was the only person who might still be awake, but whether she was studying or asleep, she didn’t answer.

Dinner was set on the dining table, covered with plastic wrap.

“Oh, hamburger steak.”

A sticky note on the table said to heat it in the microwave.

There was rice in the rice cooker, miso soup in a pot on the stove, and a salad in the fridge. I was used to this by now, and once I’d heated everything that needed it, I sat down at the table.

I mumbled my thanks for the meal, then picked up my chopsticks and split open the hamburger steak. Cheese oozed out from inside.

“Cheese! Yes!” I quietly cheered.

Ayase’s cooking skills were improving daily, and for a guy like me, who had only ever had hamburger steak at diners or as frozen meals from the supermarket, getting to eat some made from scratch and stuffed with cheese was downright magical. I figured Ayase would dismiss my praise and claim she’d just thrown it together, though. She always said that.

I glanced at the door to her room.

It was a little soon to start worrying about midterm exams, but lately she was always studying when I got home. We ate together less and less, and though she was still working at the same bookstore, her shift had changed this month, and we rarely saw each other.

Was she avoiding me?

I shook my head. Of course not.

Whenever we saw each other, she acted exactly like she always had. And high school–aged siblings probably didn’t spend that much time together anyway.

The hamburger steak I’d just heated seemed suddenly cold.

“Big Brother, huh?”

Ever since that day, she never called me anything else.

I was in homeroom just before school ended, and the teacher handed out a piece of paper at the last minute.

“Don’t forget to submit these to the class president by next Thursday,” he said, then promptly headed out.

As the door closed behind him, the classroom exploded in chatter. Usually, the students would immediately grab their bags and head out the door, but today they remained seated.

Voices saying things like, “Hey, what are you going to do?” and “What are you going to put down?” filled the classroom.

A few students started asking those around them for advice, while others stared at the paper and sighed.

Reactions were varied, but everyone was serious. The handout was a questionnaire about our plans after graduation. Parent-teacher conferences on the subject would begin at the end of the month, and these questionnaires would serve as a basis for the conversation.

“It’s that time of year again…,” I said, waving the sheet at my best friend, Tomokazu Maru. He was seated at the desk in front of mine.

“Yeah, well, we’re already in our second year. Everyone’s getting more serious. Judging by your gloomy voice, should I assume you’re not sure what to write, either?” Maru turned around, and I saw that he was frowning.

“‘Either’? You mean you’re still undecided, too?”

“Why do you look so surprised?”

“I was sure you’d be looking for a way to play baseball.”

Our team was pretty good, and although Maru was still only in his second year, he’d already seized the position of primary catcher. Winning the national high school championships and going pro…might be a bit of a stretch, but looking at his dedication, I’d assumed he’d want to pursue a related career.

“I am.”

“You are? Then why do you look so down in the dumps?”

“I’m not sure what you mean. I, for one, don’t make a habit of digging around in the local landfill.”

“I don’t think many people do.” Now he had me wondering about the origin of the phrase.

“Asamura, even you must realize that just because I belong to the baseball team, that doesn’t mean I’ll be able to pursue it as a career. Naturally, I have doubts and anxieties. And getting back to the point, I think you’ve misunderstood something.”

“Oh?”

“I wasn’t frowning because I wasn’t sure what to put down. I’m concerned about the parent-teacher conferences. They’ll start at the end of the month and go on for almost two weeks. And what do you think will happen then?”

“Well…”

I glanced at the paper in front of me. It included a brief note to one side saying that the school day would be shorter during the conference period and that we’d be dismissed at noon.

“I guess meetings will be held in the afternoon instead of classes,” I said.

“That means we’ll have more time for extracurriculars.”

What Maru was saying made sense, but I was a little surprised this was a concern for him. Maybe even Maru, who was really into baseball, wasn’t over the moon about longer practice sessions.

“Why would that upset me?” he asked. “I welcome every opportunity to practice more.”

“Hmmm. Then why?”

“If parent-teacher conferences are going on in the afternoon, anyone on the team who has to attend a meeting won’t be at practice. That means we won’t be able to do any drills that require everyone. We’ll have to simplify our activities, and people won’t take them seriously. They’ll start getting lazy.”

Apparently, though Maru loved baseball practice, he hated wasting time. This was typical of a video game nerd. He was a total efficiency freak.

“Listen, Asamura. Games aren’t all about efficiency.”

“Sorry. Maybe that was a bad comparison,” I said, putting my hands together in apology. Maru was the expert on this stuff. I should’ve known he wouldn’t like my layman’s analysis.

“Anyway, who’s gonna be at your conference? Will it be your dad, like last year? Or will your stepmom show up?”

“Huh?”

Now that he mentioned it, I realized he was right. I was no longer the child of a single parent. Akiko could come to the conference, too. But…

“Last year only my dad came, so I figure it’ll be the same this year.”

Suddenly, Ayase popped into my head. Would Akiko be the one attending her conference…?

The color of the sky changed slightly as we entered September.

The sun’s rays were still strong, but the sky wasn’t as clear and blue as in summer. Now it looked hazy, like we were seeing it through one or two panes of glass.

I gazed up at the sky above my apartment before entering the building. Once I stepped off the elevator, my footsteps slowed as I thought back to the handout in my schoolbag.

Rather than thinking about my future prospects, I found my mind drifting to my new stepmother. Dad generally left me to my own devices and had never butted in about my future. But what about Akiko?

I opened the door to our apartment, announced that I was home, and headed for the living room.

I’d figured as much after seeing their shoes at the door, but Ayase and Akiko were inside, chatting at the dining table. Akiko had her makeup on and looked ready to head off to work.

Ayase raised her head and said, “Hi, Big Brother.”

“H-hi, Ayase,” I replied, praying that she didn’t notice my stutter. A month had passed since she started calling me Big Brother, but I still couldn’t work up the nerve to call her by her first name—Saki. “What were you two discussing? …Oh.”

“You got one of these, too, right?” said Ayase.

I could see her copy of the handout on the table. It seemed they’d been discussing what days Akiko was available.

“Perfect timing,” Akiko said, looking up at me.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Taichi and I were just discussing what to do about your conference.”

“My conference?”

“Yes. The truth is…Taichi is really busy at work right now.”

Akiko explained that Dad was in charge of an important project and that it would be difficult for him to take even half a day off. He didn’t often talk about work, so I’d had no idea. Despite this, he was apparently trying to pile extra work onto his schedule each day to make time for my conference. If he couldn’t even take half a day off, his days must have already been packed, and yet he was trying to do even more. No wonder he’d seemed so tired lately…

In light of the situation, Akiko had volunteered to go in his place. Things were turning out just like Maru had said. I began to wonder if he was clairvoyant or something.

But all jokes aside, there was one problem with Akiko attending my parent-teacher conference.

“You haven’t told people at school that you two are stepsiblings, have you?” said Akiko. “Taichi said he didn’t want to cause you problems, and I agree.”

At school, Ayase and I had kept our new relationship secret so curious classmates wouldn’t pry into our lives. We’d even arranged to keep using our current surnames until we graduated high school.

But if someone realized Ayase and I had the same mother, the cat would be out of the bag. Few students hung around the classrooms during parent-teacher conferences, and I didn’t think it was that big a risk, but Akiko seemed worried.

“I see…”

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m wondering if we shouldn’t plan your conferences for different days.”

““Huh?!”” Ayase and I said in unison.

We were both stunned. If our conferences were on different days, that meant…

“You’re planning to make two trips?” I asked.

“I think it’ll be less risky than having them one after the other. What do you think?”

“Are you sure? Isn’t that a lot of extra trouble?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean…Dad isn’t the only one who’s busy. And you work at night. Isn’t it already a big ask to have you come out during the day?”

Akiko’s workday started in the evening and lasted until late at night. She had to clean up and set up the kitchen for the next day before she came home, so it was usually morning by the time she got back. She then slept through the afternoon. On weekends and holidays, she would match our schedule, but on the whole, she was a night owl.

It already seemed like a hassle for her to come to school in the middle of the day. If she had to do that two times—once for Ayase and once for me—it wouldn’t just be twice as stressful, she’d probably have to take a whole extra day off from work.

But despite my concerns, Akiko smiled and said brightly, “It’s okay!”

“But…”

“Oh! …Sorry, Yuuta. I have to go now.”

She must have glanced at the wall clock. She quickly got to her feet, grabbed her shoulder bag off the table, and ran to the door.

I chased after her.

She slipped into a pair of high heels and kicked the backs lightly against the floor to settle them on her feet. As she turned the doorknob, she glanced over her shoulder at me and said, “We’ll discuss the matter later. Give it some thought in the meantime.”

“Um, okay.”

“See you!” she said cheerfully before muttering, “I’m gonna be late!” and taking off down the hall at a sprint, her heels clicking.

“Will she be okay running like that?” I asked.

“Oof,” said Ayase. “I hope she doesn’t fall.”

I turned and saw Ayase behind me with a sports bag draped over her shoulder. “Oh? Are you leaving, too?” I asked.

“It’s almost time for work.”

“Oh… Okay. See you later.”

“Yeah. See you, Big Brother.”

She slipped past me, centimeters from my nose, her hair swaying gently. I heard the door close.

I didn’t have work today. All that time we’d spent together at the bookstore over summer break seemed so far away now.

I tossed my schoolbag down in my room, then sank into a chair in the living area. I sighed unconsciously, surprising myself. What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel so disappointed?

But at the same time, I felt relieved.

Big Brother.

Every time she called me that, I felt the air around us grow heavy and suffocating.

There was no need to wonder what I was feeling. I already knew.

“Okay… Time to check out the leftover situation.”

When evening rolled around, I forced myself to lift my butt, which seemed plastered to my seat, and open the refrigerator.

We had vegetables but no meat or fish.

Crap. I should have gone shopping.

Now that Ayase and I had different shifts at work, we’d made some changes to our routine. It didn’t feel right to keep asking her to make dinner for me when she got home exhausted from the bookstore. So Ayase made dinner when I worked, and I did the same for her.

Not that you could call the dinners I made proper meals.

A light, airy ping sounded, and I glanced at the phone I’d left on the table. Dad had sent me a text message. I caught a glimpse of the notification with the first line of the message before it disappeared. It read, I’m running late, so I’ll grab dinner before I head home. He really did seem busy…

That meant I would be cooking for two.

Akiko had turned on the rice cooker in the afternoon, and it was now on warm, so I decided to make something to go with that.

“Okay, then I’ll start with some miso soup.”

It was more efficient to start with whatever took the most time and effort. Copying Ayase, I made my miso soup from scratch, starting with the soup stock.

I filled a pot with water, then cut kombu into palm-sized pieces and dropped them in. I would let that sit for half an hour and decide what else to make in the meantime.

I looked in the refrigerator again.

“Eggs…are about all we have. In that case…”

Various egg dishes raced through my mind. I could think of a bunch, but I couldn’t make any of them. I just didn’t have the skills. About the only dish I could make using eggs was…

“Sunny-side up, I guess.”

That, or hard-boiled eggs. I decided to go with the former.

I took two eggs out of the fridge and placed them on a dish. I’d learned the hard way that if you put them directly on the counter, they tended to roll off the edge and break on the floor.

I went back to the fridge and took out some vegetables. Then I cut them into bite-sized pieces, put them in a microwave-safe container, added water, and covered them with plastic wrap. I heated the container for about three minutes. After that, I opened it and checked on them. If they weren’t ready, I could just pop them back in the microwave.

I poked the carrot pieces with the tip of my chopsticks to make sure they were soft enough to eat. The tip of the chopsticks slid in smoothly, meaning they were done.

I then transferred the vegetables to a large dish. I could wait until it was time to eat to split them into portions and pour dressing over the top.

I went back to my miso soup and turned on the stove to begin boiling the water. After grabbing some bonito flakes from a pack bigger than my head, I tossed them into the pot. That, combined with the kelp, would create the soup stock.

What should I do while that’s cooking…?

“Oh… I haven’t prepared anything to put in the soup.”

I’d already made a mistake. But I knew how to cover for things like this.

I opened the freezer and pulled out my secret weapon—

—frozen chopped green onions!

In my mind, I called this out in the voice of Doraemon. They say you talk to yourself a lot when you live alone… But I figured I was still in the clear, since I hadn’t said anything out loud.

Ayase planned to move out and live on her own after graduation, and I idly wondered what kinds of things she’d say to herself.

I scooped the green onions Ayase had pre-chopped out of the plastic food container. I didn’t have any tofu, but I figured I might as well keep things simple.

“Should be about time.”

I used a ladle strainer to remove the kelp and bonito flakes from the pot, and voilà, the soup stock was ready. I then put in the green onions and brought the mixture to a boil, then lowered the heat and added the miso. I had to be careful not to let the soup boil once I’d put in this last ingredient.

I turned off the stove. That should do it for the soup.

Finally, it was time to cook the eggs.

Sweat formed on my forehead as I maneuvered the frying pan. It was early September, and temperatures were still high. With the burner on, the air was quick to heat up. I cranked up the AC and finished cooking Ayase’s and my eggs. I’d really outdone myself today—both yolks were perfectly intact.

I decided to cover Ayase’s eggs with plastic wrap, then did the same with her steamed vegetable salad. She would be home soon, and I could have just waited. But at the moment, I wanted to spend as little time around her as possible. It would be better to keep my distance until my emotions settled down.

I picked up a sticky note and a pen and pondered what to write, then changed my mind. I’d been thinking about something the whole time I was in the kitchen—our parent-teacher conferences.

I felt bad for not realizing how busy Dad was. But I felt even worse about potentially burdening Akiko just for Ayase’s and my convenience. But that wasn’t something I could decide by myself. I would have to talk things over with Ayase.

In the end, I decided to wait for her instead of holing myself up in my room as usual.

For better or worse, I could waste an infinite amount of time staring at my phone.

I had a bunch of e-books I’d meant to read stacking up, and just as I started on the second one, I heard the door open and someone quietly say, “I’m home.”

It was Ayase. She was keeping her voice down in case Dad or I was asleep, though I was the only one there, since Dad was still working overtime.

She looked surprised when she stepped into the living room.

“Haven’t you eaten yet?” she asked.

“Not yet. You’re going to eat now, right? What do you say we sit down together? We haven’t done that for some time.”

She nodded. “That’s perfect. I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about…”

The two of us paused for a moment, hesitating, then—

““About our parent-teacher conference…””

—we both spoke at the same time, and our eyes met. The timing was so spot-on, we both laughed.

Ayase must have been thinking about it, too.

“Why don’t we talk about it over dinner?” I suggested.

“Okay. I’ll put my stuff away.”

I warmed the miso soup and the eggs and set everything out while Ayase got changed.

We sat at the table, said our thanks for the meal, and picked up our chopsticks.

Whenever I did the cooking, this was always the tensest moment for me. I was so nervous, I couldn’t help staring at the person sitting across from me until they took their first bite.

Ayase popped a piece of egg into her mouth. “Mmm. It’s good.”

“It is? Phew.”

“You did a good job. You’re really improving. Did you leave my yolk runny on purpose?”

“I had a feeling that’s how you liked it.”

Ayase and Akiko sprinkled salt and pepper on their eggs, while Dad and I preferred soy sauce.

Since learning each other’s taste preferences, we started letting each person season their own food. We now kept a bunch of seasonings right on the table, like you’d see at a diner. That was why I hadn’t salted or peppered the eggs when I was making them.

That had resolved the seasoning issue, but the difference in our food preferences went even deeper.

After watching Ayase for a while, I realized that she liked her yolks runny when she ate fried eggs. When they were well-done, she’d use whatever soup we were having to help wash them down. That was when it hit me—Dad and I liked our yolks tough and dry because we poured soy sauce over them. But if you were using salt and pepper, a yolk like that would dry out your mouth.

“You’re so observant…,” Ayase said.

“I wish I could use my powers to notice when the refrigerator is empty. If I’d realized how low we were on food, I could’ve stopped by a supermarket on my way home. I had to do with just green onions for the miso soup.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you.”

“It’s my fault for not checking. I knew you were working today.”

“But I should have told you.”

“No, it’s my fault…”

We looked at each other and laughed.

“Anyway, about our parent-teacher conferences,” I said, getting to the point. “I’ve been thinking it’s a little selfish of us to insist Mom and Dad go along with keeping our relationship secret at school.”

The bell rang, marking the end of the school day. I grabbed my bag and headed for the classroom door.

“Saki!”

I froze without turning around and sighed. I knew who it was without looking, and I knew that if I turned around, she wouldn’t let me leave. I knew…but there wasn’t much I could do about it now.

“What?” I asked.

“Hey! Don’t ignore someone when they’re talking to you!”

“I’m not ignoring you. I stopped, didn’t I? What is it?”

“Impatient, aren’t we? Take it easy. I swear, young people these days! Busy, busy, busy.”

She walked over to me, arms crossed. Despite what she said, she was the exact same age as I was.

Maaya Narasaka—my only friend.

I answered with another exaggerated sigh. “So what do you want?”

There were a few other students standing behind Maaya. I didn’t have much interest in memorizing everyone’s names and faces, but I recognized the people in this group. We’d gone to the pool with them over summer break.

It was a mixed group of seven, including Maaya, and one of the guys spoke up.

“We’re about to go to a karaoke place. Do you wanna join?”

What was this guy’s name, again?

I looked at Maaya. She was waving around what looked like a ticket.

“I snagged a coupon!”

Aha.

“Uh…,” I said, hesitating.

“Don’t like karaoke?” she asked.

The old me would have said no and ended the conversation right there. But now…

I looked at the students behind Maaya. From their expressions, I could tell they were a little anxious but also somewhat excited. They were hoping I’d come along.

“I appreciate the invite, but I can’t today. I have something to do at home, and I need to hurry back. Sorry.”

I couldn’t believe I was being so polite. I was even smiling! But I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s memories of the fun time we’d had over the summer. I had no desire to be disliked or make others uncomfortable, either.

“I’ll see you guys later,” I said with a quick bow. Then I picked up my bag and left the classroom.

From behind, I could hear my classmates talking. They were shocked I was in such a hurry, and one of them said, “Too bad, Shinjou.”

Oh yeah. I remember someone named Shinjou. Can’t recall his first name, though.

I rushed down the hall, then changed into my outdoor shoes at the entrance. I had to hurry home today—I wanted to get back before Mom left for work.

Shibuya’s main street was always congested, even at four PM on a weekday.

I’d left school in a hurry and was trying to get home, but the sidewalk was packed with pedestrians, and they kept blocking my path. It was stressing me out, but there was nothing I could do. Besides, I was well aware that it was impossible to run through central Shibuya. Mom had worked there for as long as I could remember, and I knew it like the back of my hand.

I turned away from the main street and headed down a narrow alley into a residential district, where I could finally walk at a brisk pace.

I turned a corner, and our towering apartment building came into view. This was Mom’s and my new home.

“How strange.”

Up until June, I’d taken a different path to a different home.

That was when Mom and I moved into the new apartment. I’d only been walking this route for about three months—not long at all. I had yet to discover alternative paths, and I still didn’t know any good shops to stop by on the way home.

I was still living in Shibuya, though. As I got closer to school, the number of familiar signs and shops increased.

And yet my life had changed so much. It now seemed as unfamiliar as the scenery around our new apartment building. Everything had been so much simpler before.

I remembered feeling pretty hopeless about my situation back then. That was why I’d been so desperate to change it.

I respected my mom for working at a bar downtown in order to keep me clothed and fed, and I wanted so badly to get back at everyone who criticized her. I was acutely aware of how people looked at my mom, and I knew getting good grades wouldn’t be enough to make a difference.

I reached our apartment building and typed in the security code to open the door. After passing the supervisor’s office, I got into the elevator.

Oops. Forgot to check our mailbox. Oh well, I’ll do it later.

I got off on the third floor—almost home. I was out of breath from rushing back and uncomfortably sweaty. The sleeves on my uniform stuck to my arms, and I felt icky. As I put the key in our door’s lock and twisted it, I wondered if I would have time to take a shower before leaving for work.

“I’m home!” I called out, then noticed Mom’s shoes in the entryway.

I found her in the living room, ready for work with her makeup all done.

“Welcome back,” she said.

“Do you have a second before you need to go?”

“Of course. I already let them know I’m running late, so there’s no need to rush.”

“Phew…”

I sank onto the couch, pooped after running home in the late summer heat. Whew! I made it!

I’d been in such a hurry because Mom had told me she had something important to discuss.

It was about our parent-teacher conferences.

My homeroom teacher had passed out the questionnaires this morning, and I’d texted Mom right away so she could adjust her schedule. We’d texted back and forth during recess, and I’d thought everything was settled. But then she’d said she had something she wanted to talk to me about.

To be honest, I was a little panicked. I’d anxiously hurried home, but once I saw her sitting there with her usual relaxed expression, I realized it wasn’t that big a deal.

“You could have just texted me, you know,” I said.

“Your mother’s old-fashioned. I worry I won’t be able to get across all the little nuances.”

“Oh well… I guess that’s true.”

I did get what she was saying. That was the sort of person she was. She had good face-to-face communication skills, which was part of why she made such a good bartender. Unlike me, a child raised in the era of social media, she must have some reservations about communicating with text alone.

“Okay, I’ll listen. Just give me one minute.” I ran to my room and tossed my schoolbag on the bed, then grabbed the sports bag I took to work and returned to the living room. “Okay, I’m ready. What did you want to talk about?”

“Well…,” Mom said. She was hesitating, which was unusual. “How are things with Yuuta at school?”

My heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been calling him your brother at home lately, right?”

“I have.”

“I wondered if you were doing the same at school.”

My heart was thumping harder and harder, but I felt confident it didn’t show. I was good at maintaining a poker face.

“Well, we’re in different classes.”

We didn’t have much interaction to begin with. Still, it’d be a hassle if people started spreading rumors, so I might use his name if we saw each other… But I couldn’t be sure until it happened.

That was what I said to my mom, though it wasn’t the whole truth.

Our classes were right next to each other, so we had PE together, though the girls and guys were usually split up. That meant that while we weren’t necessarily interacting, we were often on the field or in the gym at the same time. If we weren’t careful, there was a good chance we could run into each other.

In fact, that had already happened, though I’d made sure not to look at his face.

“So I guess nothing much has changed,” I said.

“Does that mean no one at school knows you two are siblings?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure. We haven’t told anyone anyway.”

Except Maaya, of course.

“Hmm. Then I guess I’ll have to rethink things.”

“Rethink what? Isn’t this about my parent-teacher conference?”

“Well, you see, Taichi is very busy right now.”

“Uh-huh.”

Mom explained that it would be incredibly difficult for Dad to attend the parent-teacher conferences, and she didn’t want him to overwork himself. To help him out, she’d been thinking of attending both my conference and Asamura’s. And in that case, it would be easier for her if they were both on the same day so she would only have to take one day off work.

“Our bar is pretty small, so it’s not easy to take multiple days off.” The staff at Mom’s bar consisted of her, the manager, and another employee who wasn’t often there. She didn’t want to leave the place short-staffed. “But if both of your conferences are on the same day one after the other, your classmates might find out, and that would be a problem for you two, wouldn’t it?”

Everyone would find out that I was Asamura’s little sister. But…was that really a problem? It was the truth. We couldn’t quit being siblings.

“That’s not what I’m really concerned about, though,” she continued.

“It’s not?!” I stopped looking down at my lap and glanced up at her.

“I’m just worried Yuuta still doesn’t see me as his mom, and that makes me a little sad.”

Oh, so that’s it. That’s what she meant. The fact we’re both so reluctant to let our classmates know we have the same mom made her feel rejected… Why was I so fixated on my own feelings? I didn’t even think about that.

Mom was smiling, but her eyes looked troubled. I didn’t think she was really upset, but…she was trying to be a good mom, not just for me, but for Asamura, too. I didn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t doing enough.

I opened my mouth and started to say “Mom—,” but then I felt my voice catch.

Just then, I heard the door open, followed by Asamura’s voice. Soon, he was in the living room.

Automatically, I started speaking. “Hi, Big Brother.”

“H-hi, Ayase.”

He stuttered for a moment, then said my name as usual. He still called me Ayase. It was pretty normal to call a younger sibling by their first name, but he didn’t use it. “Ayase” made me sound like a stranger.

“What were you two discussing?” He glanced at Mom and me, then noticed the handout on the table. “…Oh.”

“You got one of these, too, right?” I said.

“Perfect timing.” Mom looked up at him.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Taichi and I were just discussing what to do about your conference.”

Mom went on to explain to him what she had told me. I listened without interrupting, wondering how she would convince him.

But what she said surprised me.

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m wondering if we shouldn’t plan your conferences for different days.”

““Huh?!”” we said in unison. I couldn’t stop myself.

Mom sounded as if she’d been considering doing so all along. Wasn’t that a huge hassle for her?

Asamura appeared to feel the same way I did.

“I mean…Dad isn’t the only one who’s busy,” he said. “And you work at night. Isn’t it already a big ask to have you come out during the day?”

Exactly. You get it, Asamura.

Yet Mom smiled brightly and said it was okay. Then she picked up her bag, said it was time to go to work, and took off.

“Will she be okay running like that?” he asked as she sprinted down the hall.

“Oof. I hope she doesn’t fall.”

What should I do? Why didn’t Mom tell him she wanted to schedule our conferences on the same day, like she told me? I was so confused.

I have to get out of the apartment. If I stay here in this state of mind, I’ll wind up relying on Asamura. I won’t be able to keep up my poker face.

I grabbed my sports bag.

Asamura turned around and asked, “Oh? Are you leaving, too?”

“It’s almost time for work,” I said.

“Oh… Okay. See you later.”

“Yeah. See you, Big Brother.”

I was responding on autopilot. I’d been saying those words over and over, forming a habit, so they came out naturally, without me having to think about it.

But the whole time, I kept picturing my mom’s face. She’d looked troubled and sad when she was talking to me, but as soon as Asamura came home, she hid her emotions completely. Her poker face was something else.

She didn’t want Asamura to go out of his way for her. We must have inadvertently made it seem like we really didn’t want anyone to find out we were siblings, and she’d given up. I felt increasingly sure that was the case.

Even later, when I was working at the bookstore, I couldn’t get it off my mind. What should I do? What was the right answer?

“Excuse me, miss.”

I heard someone calling out to me as I was placing books on a shelf, and I turned around. A mother with a stroller was holding a hefty childcare magazine in her arms.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I missed the previous issue of this magazine. I don’t suppose you still have a copy?”

“Unfortunately, we don’t. But…um, would you like me to see if I can order a back issue?”

It wasn’t old. Maybe the publisher or our distributor still had a copy.

“Oh, it’s all right. There was an article I wanted to read, but don’t bother. Thank you, though.”

“Oh, it’s no problem.”

“I’ll just buy this one, then,” the woman said, turning toward the cash register.

I saw her struggling to carry it while pushing the stroller, so I offered to take it and then led the way to the checkout area.

The woman finished paying for her magazine, thanked me, and left the store. Then I went back to work.

I thought over my conversation with Mom again and decided I didn’t want her to feel sad anymore. I’d have to talk things over with Asamura when I got home.

Once I’d made up my mind, I felt better. It was like something had been caught in my throat, and I’d finally managed to swallow it. I’d been avoiding Asamura lately while I worked through my feelings, and it had been a while since the two of us had talked for any length of time.

Eventually, I finished my shift and returned home.

I opened the door and announced myself quietly. It was late, and Asamura was probably in his room. I went up to his door—right before the one leading into the living area—and knocked.

No answer. Maybe he was already asleep or was taking a bath. I continued into the living area…

…and there he was.

Dinner was on the table, freshly made.

Hesitantly, I asked if he’d eaten yet, and he suggested that we eat together. I wasn’t sure what he wanted, but it was convenient for me, since I had something to discuss with him.

““About our parent-teacher conference…””

We spoke at exactly the same time. Had he been thinking about it, too? That was a relief.

We decided to talk it out over dinner…

…and he said pretty much the same things I’d been thinking all day.

“I think it’s wrong to burden Akiko on our account,” he said.

This is so unfair!

Here I was, trying to erase my feelings for him, and he was shaking my resolve over something so trivial.

I was genuinely happy that he was thinking about my mom and what would be easiest for her.

“I’m not just concerned about causing Mom trouble,” I said. “I want her to attend both our conferences for other reasons as well.”

She was trying so hard to be a good mom for Asamura.

In the end, we agreed that it was okay if people at school found out that we were siblings.

It would be a joint declaration from both of us.

My dad and I both got up early on Friday.

As soon as we sat down at the dining table, my dad turned to me and said, “Akiko and I have been thinking about something.”

“Both of you?”

I gave him a puzzled look as I scooped rice into his bowl. Dad and Akiko seemed to live in two different time zones, and I wondered when in the world they found time to talk.

I asked, and Dad said he and Akiko often texted each other. He used to find it annoying to text me, and I took a moment to consider how much he’d changed.

“I’ll take a day off work to go to your parent-teacher conference. Work is pretty busy right now, but it isn’t right to make Akiko handle everything.”

“Actually, Dad, about that…”

I explained what Ayase and I had talked about the previous night and told him that we would schedule our conferences so Akiko could attend both on the same day. That way, he wouldn’t have to be absent from work.

“Really? Are you sure?” he asked.

I nodded. “Ayase and I both agreed. We don’t want to cause problems, and it’s weird to keep hiding the fact that we’re siblings.”

I had never seen Dad look so happy.

“Akiko will be thrilled,” he said. Then he went on to tell me things she’d said about wanting to be a good mom for me.

If I was still a child, things might have been different. But I was sixteen now. My dad getting married might mean he had a new wife, but it didn’t mean I had a new mother.

Dad and Akiko seemed to sense that, and he added that Akiko’s desire to be my mom didn’t mean she wanted to be my guardian.

“She says she wants you two to be family and that she thinks it’s achievable. She thinks that to do otherwise would be a waste of the ties she formed when she married me.”

Ties…

Now I understood. Akiko didn’t want to be my mother because she felt obligated to be my guardian. She might be my stepmother, and I her stepson, but that wasn’t what she meant by family. She simply wanted to cherish our time together—her, dad, Ayase, and me.

“So I think she’ll be very happy when she hears that you’ve accepted her as part of your family,” he said.

I felt a little guilty. I hadn’t even thought about that.

“Good morning, Dad. Hey, Big Brother.”

Ayase came into the living room.

“Oh! Good morning, Saki.”

“Do you want breakfast, Ayase?” I asked.

She’d woken up a little late, so I wanted to make sure. She usually left for school before I did, so she might not have time to eat.

“Oh, sorry you wound up making breakfast. I’ll take over from here.”

“Go ahead and sit down. We just got up, too. Here’s your miso soup…and rice and chopsticks.”

“Oh… Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. But…aren’t you in a hurry? Did you oversleep?” I asked, though that didn’t seem very likely.

After sitting down, she turned her smartphone around and showed me the screen. Did she want to show me something?

“…Text messages?” I asked.

“Mom said she’ll be home in a couple of hours. Now, about what we were discussing yesterday.”

Oh, okay.

Last night, Ayase had said she would text Akiko about what we discussed. She must have received a reply this morning and talked things over via text. That was probably why she was running late.

“Mom was delighted.”

“See?” Dad said happily. I felt a stinging sensation in my chest again.

“So about the schedule. Mom gave me her preferred date.”

“When is that?” I asked.

“September twenty-fifth, if possible.”

“The twenty-fifth…a Friday,” I said as I checked the calendar.

“Does that work?”

“Yeah, no problem. If the twenty-fifth works for her, that’s what we’ll put on our forms. And, Ayase—?”

We would need to explain our situation to our teachers ahead of time. We’d have to let them know that our mom couldn’t take multiple days off, so we would need to schedule our conferences for the same day. Both my teacher and Ayase’s were already aware that our parents had gotten married.

“Oh, good point,” she said.

“If we were in the same class, I could have just explained for both of us, but…”

“No problem. I’ll talk to my teacher myself.”

Ayase said to leave it to her and then continued eating her breakfast. A little while ago, she’d been reluctant to handle things like this. Maybe that had been changing lately.

Ayase finished eating, did the dishes, and left at her usual time.

Dad was the next to leave, and I was the last one out.

As I walked to school, I looked up at the sky. The breeze didn’t feel as hot as it had the day before.

Akiko wanted us to be family. Ayase calls Dad “Dad.” Maybe I should call Akiko “Mom,” too. Not because I saw her as my real mom, but so that the four of us could be family.

I wondered if that was why Ayase had started calling me Big Brother.

I caught sight of our school’s main gate and put a stop to the thoughts swirling around in my brain.

Classes would start in five minutes.

The warning bell rang just as Maru walked in through the classroom’s rear door.

He wasn’t the only one—students who had morning sports practice trickled into the room in twos and threes. They always tended to arrive just before the final bell. Maru sat at the desk in front of me and turned around, as if he’d just thought of something.

“Hey, Asamura.”

“Yeah?”

“You really did go to the pool with Narasaka and her friends this summer, didn’t you?”

“Oh, uh… Well, yeah.”

“I heard a rumor that you were getting along pretty well with Ayase.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“It was just a rumor. But seeing how Ayase has been acting lately, I’m starting to think it might be true.”

What might be true, exactly?

“So spill,” he continued. “What’s the deal with Ayase?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer. In the end, I was forced to take the cliché route and fire back a question of my own.

“Why are you asking me that all of a sudden?”

“Don’t you think it’s the responsibility of a friend character in a dating sim to ask his buddy about his love life?”

“I think you need to separate games from reality.”

“Hmm. To tell you the truth, I just heard about this a little while ago. I don’t have any evidence to back it up or anything.”

I supposed that meant people on the baseball team were talking about Ayase and me, saying we were getting along pretty well.

Why? I’d only realized my feelings for Ayase during our trip to the pool, and I’d immediately resolved myself to get rid of them. She was my sister, after all, and I was expected to be her brother. I needed to forget about all that, erase it. And yet for some reason, the people around me kept reminding me of what had happened over the summer, like they could see right through me.

Wondering what I should do, I opened my bag to start preparing for class. That was when I saw the handout and I remembered.

Ayase and I had talked about this, and we’d reached a decision. We’d agreed that it was okay if our classmates found out we were siblings.

“Hey, Maru?” My voice was quiet. I still wasn’t ready to tell the whole world.

Maru shifted toward me. Leave it to my best friend to immediately understand I was about to talk about something sensitive.

“About Ayase and me…,” I said. I told him that our parents had gotten married, that we were now stepsiblings, and that we’d finally decided to be more open about it.

I still didn’t want him to go around spreading the word, though. I said I’d told him because I trusted him.

“Of course,” he replied. “I’m not the sort of guy who blabs about sensitive subjects like that.”

“Thanks.”

“But now it finally makes sense.”

“Huh? What makes sense?”

“When you suddenly started asking me about Ayase, I was shocked. It was like you were obsessed with her.”

“Obsessed…?”

“Sorry, wrong word. But you had me pretty worried there.”

Back in June, Ayase had been the subject of some bad rumors. Her flashy clothes—the ones she called her armor—and the fact that she was seen in downtown Shibuya late at night were more than enough to start some wild gossip.

“That was all a misunderstanding,” I said.

“Yeah, it seems so. My apologies. But now it all makes sense. And that means I was bad-mouthing your sister. Sorry, man.”

“Well, you couldn’t help it, since you didn’t know.”

“I kept thinking you’d fallen for her.”

For just a moment, my heart skipped a beat, and I felt my palms start to sweat.

He thought I’d fallen for her…fallen in love with her.

There was nothing wrong with siblings caring for each other, of course. But this was different.

“I never…”

“Oh, sorry. That was uncalled-for. But you know, I’m relieved. You wouldn’t have stood a chance against those guys. I don’t want to watch my best friend get hurt.”

“Those guys?”

“Haven’t you heard? People are saying Ayase changed after summer break.”

According to Maru, Ayase had become a lot nicer, and her popularity had skyrocketed. Guys who had been scared of her before and thought she was a delinquent were now vying for her attention. She’d stopped being a loner, and all sorts of boys had started talking to her and trying to get closer. Naturally, that included some real catches.

“There was no way in hell you were gonna come out on top… Or so I thought. But you weren’t competing in the first place. You were just her brother.”

“I can’t believe you.”

“Calm down, buddy.”

Maru seemed convinced.

As I watched him, I thought things over. He was right, of course. My chances against whatever suitors she might have didn’t matter if we were brother and sister. What did I care if some hunk approached her?

Only in fiction did brothers worry about protecting their sisters from other boys. Ayase was sixteen. She could think about things like dating on her own. She didn’t need her brother meddling, whether we were related by blood or not.

Right. I needed to remain calm. So what if there were guys trying to date Ayase? It had nothing to do with me.

Our teacher walked in and began class. He asked for anyone with their handouts ready to turn them in, and I handed mine over, quietly explaining the situation.

“I see,” he said. “So your stepmother will be attending your conference?”

“Yes, sir.”

Our brief exchange over, I returned to my desk.

After school, I was in a hurry.

I had work that day, so I grabbed my bag as soon as homeroom was over and hurried to the school entrance to change shoes. That was when I noticed a loud group of people approaching.

I heard a familiar voice among them and turned to see Narasaka in the center. The other kids were from the class next door. As usual, Narasaka was surrounded by her friends, laughing. She was always careful to talk to everyone and make sure no one was left out.

Ayase was with them. She walked in line with the others, keeping a neutral distance. Every now and then, someone would say something to her, and she would respond.

When I saw her smiling and chatting, I reflexively grabbed my shoes and hid. Keeping to the shadows, I crept out the door. I told myself that I didn’t want to disturb her.

She had been smiling. It was the first time I’d seen her laughing with her classmates. I was glad. Before, she’d seemed like an outcast.

It was just as Maru had said—Ayase had changed. The way she’d refused to rely on anyone might have made her look like a cool loner, but in truth, she’d merely been cutting ties with people because she didn’t know how to deal with them.

She had since learned that she didn’t have to cut other people off to be independent.

Now she was softer, nicer. And she was with people I didn’t know, chatting and laughing. Why did that make me feel so strange? Why couldn’t I just be happy for her?

The sky had turned a dark crimson by the time I reached the bicycle parking area near the train station.

The days were shorter now. It was September, and the sun was setting earlier and earlier.

After arriving at the bookstore, I went to the employee area in the back, changed into my work uniform, and stepped out onto the sales floor.

My first order of business was to straighten up the merchandise. I passed by the sales counter, greeted the manager, and headed for the shelves.

I started at the far end and began looking over the books.

Most Japanese bookstores organize their products by publisher first, rather than by author. Each publisher’s offerings are then further separated by imprint. Finally, each imprint is lined up alphabetically by the author’s last name according to the Japanese sound system.

Take a book published under the MF Bunko J imprint. If you look at the top of the spine, you can see a few mysterious letters and numbers. One might say “Mi-10-16,” for example. This means that there are several authors whose last name starts with “Mi” published under this imprint and that the book in question is the sixteenth book published by the tenth such author.

My job at the moment was to use these numbers to move stray books back to their proper place. I had the late shift, so new arrivals had already been set out and the stock adjusted. I could see that space had been made for newer books, so all I had to do was straighten out the ones already there.

As I idly picked out books customers had inadvertently moved and returned them to their proper place, my mind began to go blank. I was gradually reaching a state of zen, when—

“Hey there, young man. You’re just the person I wanted to see.”

At the sound of this familiar voice, I turned around to find a Japanese beauty with long black hair, carrying a pile of paperbacks. There was no need to read the name tag on her uniform—I immediately recognized her as Shiori Yomiuri, my senior coworker.

“By the way,” she said, “what’s that expression supposed to be?”

“Oh, nothing. I was just clearing my mind of worldly thoughts.”

“Doing some deep thinking, huh?”

“I think that’s actually the opposite of what I was doing.”

“Oh-ho? Well then, kiddo. Be clear. What were you doing?”

“Stop acting like some middle-aged man. I’ll tell the manager you’re harassing me.”

“You will? That’s wonderful. It’s important to have gender equality in all aspects of the workplace.”

I didn’t think harassment could be called “wonderful” no matter who was doing it.

“Well, young man, never mind all that. Isn’t there something you ought to say to a beautiful girl carrying a heavy load of books in front of you?”

“Oh, sorry. I’ll take those.”

The paperbacks she was carrying needed to be added to the shelves.

The introduction of a POS cash register—one with a computer equipped with point-of-sale software—allowed us to update our stock records with each sale. Thinking about how employees of the previous era had to rely on their own memory for things like that scared me a little. They must have kept records on paper and counted the inventory on the shelves by hand, but that still sounded like a lot of work. And taking stock of the whole store wasn’t something you could do every day, so a lot had probably come down to memory. Now all it took was a quick look at the automated database.

The mountain of paperbacks I took from Yomiuri belonged on the light novel rack in front of me.

I took a good look at them and saw that they were from a long-running series by an author who had several works made into anime and who had recently begun branching out into other markets.

“This is a good series,” I said, “but I wonder why it’s suddenly selling so well?”

“You said you’d read it, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… Oh, right!” Suddenly, I remembered. “The anime must have just started broadcasting.”

“Yes, exactly. We have a POP display up, and there are a bunch more laid out on the special stand over there.” She pointed toward the front of the store, and I turned to look.

Past the paperback shelves were prominently located stands with books stacked flat on top so you could see their covers. We placed titles that were likely to sell well there, in addition to their usual spot on the shelves, since it made them easier to spot when you could see more than just the spines.

A handwritten card was fluttering next to the pile. These special ads were called POP for “point of purchase” and were used to draw extra attention to a product in the store.

“That masterpiece was made by yours truly,” said Yomiuri.

“Is that so?”

“I wrote, ‘This amazing story will have you in tears! I cried a whole bucket!’”

“You know you’re not supposed to lie, right?”

Knowing Yomiuri, I figured she was probably joking. I’d have to go and read what she actually wrote later. Even as I thought this, it occurred to me that I’d probably already fallen into her trap.

“Wait a sec. That means…” I’d just realized something important.

If the anime was starting now, in the fall, then the three months through December would be the peak sale season for the novel.

I picked up one of the paperbacks Yomiuri had brought onto the sales floor. A new ad paper was wrapped around it, announcing the airing of the anime. The publisher must have added these to the newest print run. It also said that a new book would be released the following month.

“So there’s a new one coming out…,” I muttered.

“You seem pretty tired, Yuuta.”

Yomiuri sounded concerned, so I glanced up at her.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re lacking vitality.”

“I’m not skipping meals or anything.”

“That’s not what I mean. Before, you always knew about new volumes of your favorite series three months in advance.”

New volumes of books and manga were announced as early as three months before they went on sale, so someone working at a bookstore could potentially find out quite early.

“…I suppose you’re right.”

“See? You’re lacking vitality.”

“That’s not—”

“Aw, come on. I can see right through you. Yuuta not being interested in the latest volume of a series he likes is huge. It’s a major incident!”

“It is? Well… I guess so.”

She was right. The old me would never have let something like this slip his mind.

“Are you missing Saki because your shifts are different?” Yomiuri giggled suggestively.

“Watch out, Yomiuri. If you keep smirking like that, you’ll lose all your fans.”

“There, there. You can talk to me about your problems. Now, open up your heart and jump into my arms.”

“It’s not like that, okay? We’re siblings. It couldn’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

“I’m not missing her. People don’t miss their sister just because they don’t get to work with her.”

“I don’t have an older brother, so I wouldn’t know. Maybe that’s true. But Saki is only your stepsister, right?”

“She’s still my sister,” I said, feeling my chest constrict.

“What a sensible, boring response!”

“I wasn’t trying to entertain you.”

“Hmm. Okay, then. Moving on, I have some juicy info for you that might get your energy levels back up…” Yomiuri held up one finger for emphasis. “…My college has an open campus coming up. You should come.”

“An open campus? You mean where interested students can come and learn about the curriculum and so on…?”

“Exactly. You’ll be surrounded by cute college girls. That’ll cheer you up.”

A lot of guys would be over the moon if they got to spend time with a bunch of pretty college girls like Yomiuri. I’d once seen her with a group of other girls I assumed were friends from college, and they’d all been attractive young women.

But there was a key problem with my coworker’s suggestion.

“Yomiuri, don’t you go to an all-girls college?”

“Yeah, so?”

“I don’t think they’d let a guy like me go to your open campus.”

“What?! So much for gender equality!”

I doubted we’d reached an age so enlightened that a boy could enroll at an all-girls college.

I knew Yomiuri was just trying to cheer me up, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile at her. Even I didn’t know what I was so depressed about. I had no reason to feel down, after all.

I finished my shift and went straight home.

I found dinner and a note waiting for me on the table. The night before, Ayase and I had eaten dinner together for the first time in a while. But today, she’d only left me a note and holed up in her room.

She wasn’t avoiding me…was she?

I wished I could have seen her face. It seemed I’d lied to Yomiuri earlier.

A single thought echoed in my mind:

This was inevitable, wasn’t it? After all, Ayase and I aren’t real siblings.

A bell rang, announcing the end of fourth period, and all the students relaxed at once.

“Time for lunch!” a girl shouted.

I looked at her and sighed. How was she so full of energy every day? Not that it mattered.

“Lunchtime, lunchtime!”

The girl sounded like she was skipping… Oh wow, she really is skipping. As I waited for the bundle of energy named Maaya Narasaka to come over to my desk, I noticed several of our classmates behind her.

“Hey, Ayase,” said the girl sitting next to me. “I’m going to the cafeteria, so feel free to use my desk.”

“Thanks.”

She picked up her wallet and left the classroom. I watched her go, then pushed her desk against mine and pulled a lunch box out of my bag.

“Saki,” said Maaya. “Sorry there’s such a crowd today.”

“It’s okay.”

I had secured a desk for Maaya, who walked over swinging her own lunch box from side to side. But what should I do about the people behind her?

I was stumped for a minute, and then I saw them talking to the surrounding students and borrowing desks all on their own.

About half the class went to the cafeteria or their clubrooms to eat lunch. That meant their desks weren’t being used, so as long as everyone got permission, there wouldn’t be any problems. Personally, however, it seemed like way too much trouble just to eat lunch with someone else.

Usually, I wouldn’t have even wanted to do something like this, but I already knew some of the people with Maaya from our summer trip to the pool, and the others were people I’d begun talking to recently.

Before I knew it, we’d formed a little island from the surrounding desks.

I silently said my thanks for the meal.

Then Maaya turned toward me and said, “I wonder what’s for lunch today?”

“Shouldn’t you be looking at your own food, Maaya?”

“Oh! An omelet!”

“Get your chopsticks away from my lunch!”

“Half! Just give me half!”

“Ugh.”

I broke my omelet into two pieces and tossed one into Maaya’s lunch box. She seemed to think this was a trade and placed a piece of fried chicken in mine.

“Isn’t this a lot bigger than what I gave you?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about it. Ooh, Yumi’s salmon looks good, too.”

“I’ll trade you a piece in exchange for that Narasaka family special-recipe chicken!” said Yumi.

“Done!”

Oh. So the chicken is a family recipe. I lifted it to my mouth and bit down. The crust wasn’t too greasy, and the juicy meat inside fell apart in my mouth. It wasn’t fatty, so I figured it was chicken breast, not thigh.

“This is good…,” I said.

“Isn’t it?! Narasaka’s fried chicken is magical.”

“It’s not magic, it’s fried chicken!” Maaya said, her expression serious. Everyone laughed, and I found myself laughing along, too.

“Maaya. Did you fry this twice?” I asked.

“Mmm?”

“Oh, go ahead and finish eating. You can tell me later.”

“Mm-mmm.”

Maaya nodded, her mouth still full of chicken. Everyone laughed again.

I’d always thought dealing with other people was a waste of time and that I’d never need any friends other than Maaya. But now I was making a conscious effort to build new relationships.

We ate and talked in between bites. I couldn’t quite keep up with the others’ conversations, and I wasn’t all that interested in trying. Still, as I sat there with them, pretending to listen, I realized I was starting to enjoy myself.

Human psychology was surprisingly simple. I wondered if this phenomenon had a name.

“Hey, guys…” One of the boys called for everyone’s attention, and I looked up. “Why don’t we all go out together again this month?”

Who was this boy again…? What was his name…?

“Good idea, Shinjou. When and where were you thinking?”

“How about karaoke? Some Sunday when we’re all free.”

Oh yeah. Shinjou.

Everyone seemed on board with his suggestion, saying “Great idea” and “It’s been a while.”

“How about you, Saki?” asked Maaya.

I hesitated. What should I do? In the past, I would have turned down the offer, saying I had to study or work.

“Uh…”

“Do you have to work? Or maybe you’re busy studying.”

She’d beaten me to it. She was giving me an out if I wanted it.

“I’m not working on the twenty-seventh. I’d usually be studying, but…”

“Oh-ho. I knew you were a good student. Hmm. What should we do?”

“In that case,” said Shinjou, turning to me, “how about we get together for a study session?”

Why is he looking at me like that?

“Where?” someone asked.

“How about the library?”

“Oh, how about my place?” Maaya said, piping up.

The others seemed unsure what to make of this suggestion. I wasn’t surprised—there were six of us here. But I knew we’d all fit in Maaya’s living room.

Maaya said her parents were taking her brothers out somewhere that day. She curled in her fingers to mimic a cat’s paw and made a beckoning gesture. “Come on over,” she said. If I was serious about building new relationships, I figured it would probably be a good idea to attend.

And if I had more interactions with other people, maybe I could finally get rid of my improper feelings for Asamura.

Once I got home, I started making dinner and setting up for breakfast the following day.

Oh, right. I opened the refrigerator and reached for the chicken. If I made fried chicken, we could have some tomorrow morning and pack the leftovers as lunch. I thought about Maaya’s family recipe. She probably deep-fried each piece twice—once at a low temperature and then again at a high temperature. I didn’t usually do that, since I was always pressed for time, but I thought I’d try it today. Fortunately, I didn’t have work.

For dinner, I grilled sun-dried horse mackerel and made miso soup with eggplant and dried tofu. I topped it off with a drop of sesame seed oil for a different taste.

Dad came home while I was cooking and ran hot water in the bath. He ate dinner while waiting for it to fill.

“Oh, the miso soup tastes different today,” he noted.

“You don’t like it?”

“It’s delicious. Yuuta’s going to love it.”

I wasn’t expecting him to say that, and I struggled to maintain a poker face.

“That’s…good,” I managed.

“Akiko sometimes uses sesame seed oil in her cooking, too, and it’s great. Is this a family recipe?”

“…You might say that.”

I’d momentarily forgotten, but it was Mom who taught me the trick of using sesame seed oil to vary a dish’s flavor.

Dad took his bath and then headed off to bed.

I finished frying the chicken, then wrote a note for Asamura for when he got home from work.

After that, I went to my room and began preparing for the next day’s classes.

I put my headphones on to block out the world around me, turned on some lofi hip-hop, and opened my textbook.

I had math tomorrow, and the teacher liked to ask students questions in student number order. That was determined by our last name, so there was a good chance that I’d be called on, since “Ayase” was right at the front. I needed to make sure I was ready.

As I worked, I thought about my plans for the following Sunday, and memories of that summer day at the pool swirled in my mind.

If I really wanted to distance myself from Asamura, then shouldn’t I stop making dinner for him and leaving him notes? But then wasn’t that going a little too far? Rather than distancing myself, it felt like completely cutting him off. I didn’t want to do that…

I didn’t want to push him away. I really didn’t. That would be even worse than when we were strangers.

Did I think that because we were family? Because I didn’t want to destroy our give-and-take relationship? Or…

…was this a sign of my lingering attachment? Even I wasn’t sure.

And in the end, I couldn’t solve a single problem in my textbook.

September flew by. Perhaps it was the cool autumn air, or maybe it was because my days were so colorless now that I was talking less and less with Ayase. Before I knew it, it was the day before our parent-teacher conferences.

“This is just a hypothetical, okay…”

It was lunchtime, and I decided to take advantage of the noise to ask Maru a question while we ate.

“Say a guy has a broken heart.”

“Hmm?” Maru raised his head.

“He needs to forget about his feelings for this girl. What should he do?”

“Asamura, you can’t expect the right answer with such a vague description.”

“Uh, sorry?”

“Oh, never mind. I’m just guessing here, but…I think the difficulty will vary depending on if the girl is someone this guy sees every day, or if she’s someone he only knows online.”

Oh, I see. He’s talking about distance.

“Let’s say she’s someone he sees often, then.”

Maru looked up from his lunch box and glanced at me. Then he looked back down and scooped out some rice topped with seaweed. That one scoop was at least 50 percent larger than the bites I took. Maybe that was normal for people who did sports.

Maru chewed for a while, then took a swig of tea from a plastic bottle.

“How about dating different girls? Love is pretty hard to define, but I figure something about this girl moved his heart…”

I froze for a split second when he said the word love. Praying he hadn’t noticed, I tilted my head a bit and prompted him to go on.

“But even if he thinks he’s madly in love,” Maru continued, “it might just be his imagination. It’s entirely possible that meeting another attractive girl could change his mind in no time.”

“Do you think it would be that easy…? And meeting new girls sounds pretty hard.”

“Asamura… Are you blind? There are at least twenty girls in this classroom alone. Girls are all around you.”

I was pretty sure girls were not all around me.

“Are you trying to say that since women are half the population, it should be easy to meet one? That’s just an old cliché.”

“But it’s true. When it comes to meeting girls, it’s all about perspective.”

“Other girls, huh…?”

I gave it some thought.

It seemed to me there was a huge gap between knowing a woman existed and forming a relationship with her. But I didn’t want to dismiss out of hand this divine revelation from my friend.

Perspective, huh?

Basically, Maru was saying this: We normally see strangers as just that—strangers. Ayase was the same. If our parents hadn’t gotten married, I would have seen her as nothing more than a flashy girl from the next class over. Even if we wound up introducing ourselves, we probably wouldn’t get much further than saying “Hi” when we passed each other in the hall.

But she just happened to become my stepsister, and we got to know each other well in the process of learning to live together. As a result, I found out a lot about her, and that was stirring up my feelings.

If that was the case, all I had to do was make an effort to get to know the other girls around me. Maybe I’d find someone who moved my heart even more than Ayase did…

“I don’t know,” I said.

“If it’s tough to imagine a random girl, maybe this guy should start with people who are already close to him. When you’re having a hard time winning, it’s best to focus your attention where you have the most information.”

“What are you talking about now?”

“I’m just explaining the prevailing view.”

The prevailing view on what, exactly?

That aside, Maru seemed to be suggesting that I start with someone close by. In my case, that would be…

“There, there. You can talk to me about your problems. Now, open up your heart and jump into my arms.”

I immediately thought of Yomiuri, the college girl at my part-time job. Maybe it was that weird thing she’d said the other day about how I could talk to her about anything.

“Well, whatever,” Maru said, breaking into my thoughts. “It might be a good idea to try something new, girl or no. Might get your mind off things. It’s not good to get all worked up.”

“Yeah, I guess… Hey! I said this was hypothetical.”

“Oh, right. You did say that, didn’t you?” He snapped the lid back on his lunch box. “Okay, see you later.” Then he left the classroom.

His lunch had been twice the size of mine, and he’d finished it in a flash and headed out to lunchtime practice. Was his stomach made of steel?

I sighed, then set to work finishing my own food.

I had work for the second day in a row today.

As I parked my bike in the parking lot, I thought about the fall weather. I’d been pedaling at full speed and wasn’t sweating nearly as much as I had back in August.

Later, as I made my way into the bookstore, the assistant manager called out to me.

“Asamura! You’re on register duty today.”

“Okay.”

I did as I was told and headed behind the register to start checking out customers.

I took a lot of care whenever I was on register duty. We didn’t have to enter the book prices, since we had a barcode scanner, but that didn’t mean our job was easy. We still had to prepare book covers in the correct sizes for each book and inform the customers about which bags were available, depending on the size of their purchase. The barcode scanner couldn’t help with any of that.

I’m going someplace after work and won’t be home till late.

Why is it so hard to decide if I should mark his text message as read…?

My heart started beating faster the moment Asamura’s message popped up on my screen.

He’s with Yomiuri…

I only had to read the first few words to know. He was going to hang out with her before coming home.

Marking the message as read would mean, obviously, that I had read it. And if I read it, it would seem like I was giving him permission. That was why I was staring at the message, one finger hovering in the air, debating whether to mark it as read.

How ridiculous was that?

We were second-year high school students. What kind of high school student worries about her brother’s every move?

But if I marked his text as read, I wouldn’t be able to make a sarcastic remark like “You’re home late” when he got home or make excuses like “Sorry, I didn’t read your message.” That vexed me.

“I’m such an idiot.”

Acting like that wasn’t fair, either. I hated that kind of behavior. Did jealousy shrink your brain back to elementary school level?

It was wrong to feel this way. I was his sister.

I glanced at the dinner I had set on the table and sighed.

I’d chosen a meal that would help him get over his end of summer fatigue. The main dish was keema curry, which used ground meat, along with ginger, garlic, red pepper, and cumin. The cumin was the real star. It had been used as a spice since the time of the pharaohs, and it was involved in many superstitions and spells. I’d even found a story online about mixing cumin into the rice shower at weddings, to prevent a lover from having a change of heart. I supposed it was like a kind of human bug spray to keep pests away from your marriage.

I warmed up a bowl of curry and stuck in my spoon. The spice was so strong, I had to blink a few times. Then I took a bite.

“That’s hot…!”

What the heck was I doing? I didn’t even like spicy food.

It was so hot that it made my eyes water.

I asked myself again: What am I doing?

My heart felt like it was being shredded.

I thought about the conversation I’d had with Maaya at school that day.

“Maaya, how can you always be so happy-go-lucky? How do you forget about your problems?”

I figured she had to have some worries, so I asked how she managed not to let it show.

Her answer was extremely straightforward.

“Just take action!”

“And do what?”

“Anything. Something new!”

She raised one finger, then another.

“Or else you could try doing something you put off and never got around to!”

According to Maaya, people with problems were stuck in a loop, like someone who kept stomping their feet in the same spot without getting anywhere.

“So at times like that, I force myself to move forward!”

Maaya was so amazing. She always stayed positive and took a constructive approach to everything.

Her argument was very convincing. Something new, huh?

I didn’t want to keep going in circles like this. I decided to take Maaya’s advice and try to break out of my shell that weekend.

Well…it’s almost time for Dad to come home.

I looked at the wall clock. I should probably get Dad’s dinner ready for him.

I put some salad in a bowl and reheated his portion of soup and curry.

Asamura said he’d be late. Would he eat out tonight? I’d only read the preview, so I wasn’t sure what the rest of the message said.

I decided to prepare his dinner just in case. I’d leave a note as I always did, telling him to take a soft-boiled egg out of the fridge and add it to his curry if it was too hot.

Then I’d lock myself in my room.

I’d put on my headphones, turn up my music, and let the sounds fill my mind. I had to catch up with my studies, which I’d been falling behind on lately.

And then tomorrow, it would be time for my parent-teacher conference.

Friday—the day of Ayase’s and my parent-teacher conferences.

We started the morning as we always did, with Ayase and me helping set out breakfast on the dining table. Dad was already seated, reading the news on his tablet.

“Here’s your miso soup, Dad.”

“Thanks, Saki.” Dad accepted the bowl, looking pleased.

Just then, we heard the door open and someone call out, “I’m home!”

All three of us turned toward the sound of Akiko’s voice.

Dad was the first to respond. “Welcome home, Akiko.” Ayase and I greeted her a beat later.

“Hi, Taichi,” she called back.

“You must be tired. Do you want breakfast?”

“Yes, please. I came home as quickly as I could to make sure I’d have time to sleep, so I didn’t eat anything after work.”

“Gotcha. But are you sure you can wake up in time?”

“I think so. Hey, Yuuta? Saki? What time are your conferences again?”

Ayase and I pulled out our phones and checked our schedules.

“Mine is from four twenty PM to four forty,” I said.

“And mine is right after that, from four forty to five o’clock. Our classrooms are next door to each other, so it won’t take you any time to get there.”

Akiko took a hard look at her phone and repeated back what we’d said. “Mmm. Looks like I have all the times right.”

“You won’t be getting much sleep if you go to bed now,” said Dad.

“I’m planning on taking a cab to the school, so I don’t need to leave until a little before four. I just have to get up, take a shower, eat, brush my teeth, get changed, put on makeup… Hmm, I should be okay if I get up at two.”

“It’s seven now, so you’ll be able to get six hours if you go to bed at eight,” Dad said, adding that it would be less than she usually got. That was true—she was usually able to sleep until early evening.

“I’ve taken the day off, so I can just go back to bed when I get home. The only problem is that neither Saki nor Yuuta will be here when I’m supposed to wake up.”

Akiko wasn’t very good at getting out of bed.

“Taichi. Please give me a wake-up call at two!” she said, placing her hands together like she was praying.

“Mom, Dad has to work,” said Ayase.

“I know, but…”

“Ha-ha-ha. Okay, Akiko, leave it to me,” said Dad. “It’s easy enough to make a quick call. It shouldn’t interfere with my work.”

Akiko beamed, while Ayase sighed.

I usually thought of Dad as a loser, but his generosity made him seem more mature.

Akiko seemed to brighten up at first, but then she lowered her brows and started looking worried again.

“I wonder if I’ll really be able to get up. And if the teachers will think I’m a strange mother.”

“No one would say that about you,” said Dad.

“Y-you think so?” A shy look appeared on Akiko’s face.

“Of course I do.”

Is it really necessary to stare into each other’s eyes like that?

Ayase and I grimaced internally at our parents’ lovey-dovey little scene, then reassured Akiko that everything would be fine.

“Hey, Mom?” said Ayase. “You’re getting in the way. Sit down if you’re going to have breakfast.”

“Okay, okay.”

“How are you on time, Dad?”

Dad glanced at the wall clock. “Oh… You’re right. I’d better be on my way.”

Dad watched Akiko as she headed to the bathroom to remove her makeup, then grabbed his bag and stood.

“Okay, guys. Take care of Akiko for me.”

Ayase and I nodded. But aren’t you the one who has to call her? I thought.

A little while later, Akiko returned to the living room, sat down, and began eating her breakfast.

“Mom,” said Ayase. “What do you want to do about lunch when you wake up? I’ve put some leftover curry in the refrigerator if you’d like that. The spiciness might help you wake up.”

“I don’t want to eat anything too spicy before I see your teachers, so I’ll just have the leftovers from breakfast. We still have an egg or two in the fridge, right?”

“Yeah…we do.”

“I’ll manage something. Now, isn’t it time for you to head out?” She was right. Ayase usually left around this time. “And, Yuuta, don’t bother cleaning up. I’ll take care of it after I finish eating.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

As usual, Ayase left first, then I grabbed my bag and headed out shortly after.

As I slipped on my shoes and walked out the door, I heard Akiko say, “All right! Time to put my all into sleeping so I can wake up on time!”

The bell rang, and fourth period came to an end.

Parent-teacher conferences would begin in the afternoon, but it was still a little over four hours until mine was scheduled to begin.

As I ate lunch with Maru, I wondered what I could do to fill all that time.

“Okay, Asamura, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you!”

Maru finished eating first, then grabbed his bag and shot out of the classroom. He might complain, but he was amazingly conscientious about baseball practice.

Inevitably, I wound up all alone.

At times like this, when the classrooms were being used for conferences, people who didn’t participate in clubs wound up with no place to go.

I considered the library. You’d think a booklover like me would head straight there, but the library didn’t have a lot of the types of books I read, so I didn’t use it very often.

I hadn’t been there in a while, but it couldn’t hurt to check it out. I picked up my bag and made my way to the library.

Suisei High School’s library was located in a separate two-story building accessible via a covered, outdoor walkway. The first floor contained the music room, with the library above. You might expect it to be called “the music wing” or something, but there was probably some historical reason for calling it the library.

As I approached, I could hear the brass band practicing. Our high school conducted parent-teacher conferences for all three grades at once, which was typical for an elite school like ours. But the fact that no one had classes in the afternoon meant club activities had started up quite early in the school day, which paradoxically felt odd.

I climbed the stairs and opened the door to the library. As soon as I stepped inside, the scent of old books hit me. It was the same characteristic smell you’d find in an old used bookstore in the Jinbocho district—that famous mecca for booklovers. Some people didn’t like the feel of an old volume that had been thumbed through by strangers over the years and always bought new, but I didn’t mind it at all. To me, this was the smell of wisdom handed down through the generations.

The library tended to fill up before exams, but it wasn’t nearly that crowded now. Looking around, I saw that not even a third of the tables were occupied.

Ayase’s image popped into my mind, and I wondered what she was doing to pass the time. I glanced at the shelves but didn’t spot the familiar girl with her light-colored hair. Instead, I saw—

“Huh? What are you doing here?”

—Maaya Narasaka.

“Just killing time,” I said. “I have my conference today.”

“Oh, you too?”

“I guess that makes two of us.”

She gestured for me to take a seat, and I plopped down next to her. If we sat any farther apart, it would be hard to talk quietly. Fortunately, she was the only person at her table, and the bookshelves around it served as a barrier.

“When’s yours?” she asked.

“Four twenty.”

“Oh, mine’s at four, right before yours.”

It seemed we both had a lot of time to kill. But I couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t with Ayase, since her conference was also at a similar time.

I asked Narasaka about it, and she said Ayase had decided to go home temporarily.

It was true that we had plenty of time to leave school and come back. Maybe I should have done the same. What if I left now…?

I searched for a clock but couldn’t find one, and I pulled out my phone instead. It wasn’t even one o’clock yet. What should I do? Should I go home?

If I start now… But Ayase was there, and it’d be awkward if we wound up alone together. No, wait—we wouldn’t be alone. Akiko was home sleeping, and it was almost time for her to get up. Then I remembered what she’d said that morning.

“The only problem is that neither Saki nor Yuuta will be here when I’m supposed to wake up.”

Is that why Ayase went home…?

“What’s the matter, Asamura? Your brow’s all wrinkled up like you’ve got a big problem!”

“Oh, nothing.”

If I went home now, I might disturb Akiko and cut down on her sleep time.

“Are you that worried about your conference?”

“That’s not what I’m concerned about. It’s—”

I had just come very close to admitting to Narasaka that I had a problem. Had that been a highly sophisticated leading question?

“—Never mind that. Couldn’t you have gone home, too?”

“Nah, I thought I’d take a day off from caring for my brothers,” she said, laughing.

Apparently, her mom had stayed home from work to attend her conference, and her grandmother had come over to take care of the boys while she was away.

“They must keep you guys pretty busy.”

“They’re really sweet, but sometimes, I want some time to myself. To let my hair down, you know? But forget about that,” she said, lowering her voice.

She put her head down so close to the table that it almost touched the surface, and then she looked up at me. “Asamura. You have a crush on Saki, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t.”

I probably shouldn’t have answered so quickly. Narasaka might look as sweet as candy, but she was extremely sharp.

“Really?”

“You know we’re siblings. That’s absurd.”

“Hmm. But you know…”

“What?”

“You do still call her Ayase.”

Thump! My heart nearly burst out of my chest. Was that what gave it away?

Narasaka lowered her head even further and rested her cheek against the table’s surface.

“You may be siblings, but you’re stepsiblings. And you’ve only been stepsiblings for a few months. You’re basically still strangers. And from my perspective, you guys look like you’re both in love with each other.” She spoke into the table like she was talking to herself.

“It isn’t like that.”

“Hmm. So I was wrong?” She continued mumbling into the table, and I wondered if her forehead didn’t hurt. Then she suddenly raised her head, lifted her arms toward the ceiling, and stretched. “Okay. In that case, can I cheer on another guy?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’m asking if it’s okay for me to root for another boy who might have a crush on Saki.”

So there’s another boy with a crush on Ayase?

I ran into Maaya at the school’s entrance.

“Oh, hi, Saki! Good luck! I’ll catch you later!”

“…Leaving already?” I asked.

“Yeah, though I’m not going home just yet. I want to enjoy myself a bit more today.”

Oh, right. She said she had the day off from taking care of her brothers. I guess that’s why she didn’t go home with her mom after her conference.

“That must mean you’re all finished.”

“And you’re just about to start, right? Is your mom already here?”

“Yeah. She’s at Asamura’s meeting now.”

A strange expression crossed Maaya’s face. “Come to think of it, I hung out with Asamura in the library while I was waiting,” she said.

“Yeah?”

So he was killing time in the library. He must really love reading.

“Yep. He reads really fast. I only finished half the book I picked out, but I think he got through two! He must read at the speed of light!”

He reads at three hundred thousand kilometers per second? What the heck is she even saying?

“Sure, sure,” I said with a wry smile.

“He’s really something.”

“Okay, already.”

I knew this was just Maaya’s usual banter, but I couldn’t help feeling pleased when I heard her compliment Asamura. It was difficult to keep my lips from curling into a smile.

“Okay, I’d better be on my way,” she said. “And I think it’s almost time for your meeting.”

I gasped and checked my watch. I had less than five minutes left.

“See you!” Maaya said, practically singing.

“Yeah, see you,” I said and took off toward my classroom.

I’d gone home thinking I had plenty of time, so it would be embarrassing if I wound up arriving late. If I didn’t make it, there would have been no point going home to wake up Mom.

I ran up the stairs, rounded the corner, and saw Mom and Asamura leaving his classroom.

They were talking. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but seeing Mom’s happy smile made me happy, too. Mom only looked like that when she felt joy from the bottom of her heart. I remembered seeing her make the same expression when I got into Suisei High.

Asamura is amazing. I’m so glad my new brother turned out to be someone like him… Wait, what’s going on? Why is Mom hugging him? They might be mother and son now, but isn’t that going a little too far? I panicked for a moment, then remembered how quick Mom was to hug me all the time. Maybe that’s just how mothers are… Maybe.

At that point, Mom noticed me and came running over.

As she reached me, I cast a sidelong glance at a posted notice that read NO RUNNING IN THE HALL.

As soon as our meeting began, my teacher, Ms. Satou, announced that she had something to say before we got into our discussion.

“To be honest with you,” she began, “I was a little concerned about your daughter, Saki, during the first semester.”

Ms. Satou was a veteran teacher and not the type to mince words. She got right to the point and admitted she had been worried about the rumors concerning my fashion choices and how I behaved.

I preferred straightforward people like her to those who beat around the bush. But I wasn’t sure how Mom felt. I stole a glance at her as the teacher continued.

She was sitting up straight, listening to Ms. Satou without interrupting.

“But recently my opinion has changed,” the teacher said. I looked up at her. “Saki is doing better in Japanese, which had been a problem subject for her, and I no longer hear troubling rumors. I still have to warn her about the way she dresses, but I can understand her desire to be fashionable.”

Mom nodded.

“I’d like her to exercise restraint and act and dress appropriately for a high school student,” Ms. Satou continued. “Though this isn’t part of the conference, I’d like to ask you to watch over her as well, as her mother.”

“I do,” Mom said clearly and left it at that.

Ms. Satou looked into Mom’s eyes, nodded, and took out my questionnaire.

“Now, about Saki’s choice of college…”

After going over my grades during the previous semester, Ms. Satou said my success would depend on how much I improved in Japanese, but that if I continued to work hard, I could aim for even better colleges. Then she named two famous universities anyone would recognize as examples.

“It’s my daughter’s choice,” Mom said. She glanced my way, prompting me to speak up.

Ms. Satou followed her gaze. I felt a little nervous.

“I… I want to attend a college that isn’t too expensive and will help me find a job.”

Mom had a look on her face that said, “Are you sure that’s all you want?” But I wasn’t willing to negotiate on those two points. If I was aiming to enter an academic field, things might have been different. But as it stood, I didn’t have any particular interest I wanted to pursue.

Since that was the case, I didn’t want to burden Mom with fees for a top-tier university. But I still wanted to go to a decent college that would help me get a good job.

Ms. Satou tapped the bottom of her pen against the desk and said, “Well, then. How about Tsukinomiya Women’s University?”

“Huh? Tsukinomiya?”

Tsukinomiya Women’s University was a prestigious institution in Tokyo for girls. Anyone in the country would recognize the name, and to be honest, I was a bit intimidated.

“Based on your current performance, I think you can aim for Tsukinomiya if you put in the work. The institution has strong ties in lots of areas that will help you find jobs, and the tuition fees are low, since it’s a public university. They also have scholarships available. If you aren’t able to get one of those, they have interest-free student loans. I believe that fits your criteria.”

“I…hadn’t ever considered it.”

I’d never imagined she would suggest trying for Tsukinomiya Women’s University.

Ms. Satou smiled. She told me the university was hosting an open campus that weekend and suggested I go take a look.

“An open campus…,” I muttered.

“You should go see for yourself what a real college is like.”

“I suppose…you’re right.”

I could probably make it for one of those days, at least.

“So at times like that, I force myself to move forward!”

Maaya’s words echoed in my mind like a trumpet signaling the charge.

It was time to push myself and try something new.

I had to forget my feelings for Asamura and make sure I was prepared for what the future held. Maybe this would help me do both.

As soon as the conference was over and we left the classroom, I made my decision.

Tomorrow—I’d go to the open campus tomorrow.

On the way home, Mom began to mumble. “That woman has no idea. If Saki starts trying to act restrained, she’ll only get carried away and overdo it…”

In the end, I pretended not to hear her.

Tsukinomiya Women’s University was located within the perimeter of the JR Yamanote Line, a ring of train stations connecting most of Tokyo’s major urban centers.

To get there from Shibuya Station, you would travel northward along the loop and get off at Ikebukuro Station, then transfer onto a private train line and go another two stations. From there, you would be within walking distance of the school.

After getting off at the closest station, I walked along the main road and arrived at the front gate.

“It’s huge…”

The first thing I noticed about the campus was its size. I wondered just how many buildings were contained within its walls. How had the school managed to secure this much land in the city center? I supposed that was the power of a historical, government-run institution.

Tall trees flanked the path stretching out from the gates, and mixed in among them were a line of square buildings of similar height. According to the map I’d brought up on my phone, the buildings to my right and left were an elementary school and a high school attached to the college. A little ways away was a junior high.

I was at a loss for words. I couldn’t believe they had fit every grade, as well as a college, on the same grounds.

I followed the flow of people heading through the entrance and proceeded inside.

It was Saturday, so there were no classes in session. Did that mean all these people were here for the open campus?

An older girl in a primary color T-shirt handed me a program as soon as I entered the property. Apparently, she was staffing the event. Right. Of course it’s not just high schoolers here today.

As I took a closer look at those around me, I noticed several older girls and women and realized they must have been university students and faculty.

In the distance, I heard the enthusiastic shouts of people playing sports. I saw shadows in the windows, too. Do college students not take days off? Are the people here so serious, they come to school even when there aren’t any classes? I couldn’t believe it.

I proceeded farther along the cobblestone path. My destination was the faculty of humanities, where they were hosting a trial lecture, and it was all the way at the back. To get there, I would have to first make my way around the large building in front of me.

As I proceeded around it, I noticed a courtyard to my right, which sloped gently upward. The grass was a beautiful green…and someone was lying down on it.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. A woman in a white lab coat was sprawled out on the lawn. Is that allowed? Oh, someone’s coming… Looks like she’s in trouble. I’m not surprised, though I bet it feels really good to lie out there in the sun.

Does this mean students aren’t always serious but take breaks now and then, too? Though I think maybe that woman was taking it a little too easy.

It seemed all sorts of people could be found at universities.

I reached my destination and checked the sign in front of the building. Yep, this is it.

I was about to enter when I thought I heard someone call my name. No way. I don’t know anyone here.

“Saki! I didn’t know you were coming to my university!”

Huh?

“Yomiuri?”

It was Shiori Yomiuri, an older girl I worked with at the bookstore. She was sitting behind what appeared to be a reception table.

Does that mean…?

“Do you go to this college?” I asked.

“Yeah, I guess maybe I do.”

“Maybe”? “I guess”? When she’s sitting behind the reception table?

I took a look around and noticed that each department had a reception area in a different location. Yomiuri was sitting at the one for the Humanities Department.

“I would have given you a hearty welcome if you’d told me you were coming.”

“It was a last-minute decision.” How could I have told Yomiuri I was coming when I didn’t even know she went to school here?

“Oh, okay. Well, I guess you’re here to attend the trial lecture, huh?”

“…I guess so,” I answered, moving to the side to make way for other students.

I wasn’t here for any particular department. I’d picked the lecture based on what sounded most interesting, but I probably didn’t need to tell Yomiuri that. Besides, she was smart, and I figured it wasn’t a bad idea to hear a lecture from her department.

“We still have time, so I’ll show you around.”

“I… Are you sure?”

I looked back at the reception table. Someone new was already sitting in Yomiuri’s chair, handing out flyers to passersby. She noticed that I hadn’t received one and gave me a copy. It appeared to be an overview of the day’s lectures.

“Shiori, you’re in the way. Go away if you aren’t going to work.”

“Okay, thanks,” she said, then turned to me. “Come on, follow me.”

“But…”

“Oh? Is that a friend you’re with, Yomiuri?” said someone else.

I turned toward the voice and saw a woman clearly too old to be a student. Was she a professor? She looked to be somewhere between her late twenties and early thirties. If she really was a professor, she was probably a little older than she looked. She wore a light purple suit and had a mature look about her, but her beauty was marred somewhat by the slight bags under her eyes. Perhaps she hadn’t gotten enough sleep? Wait, haven’t I seen her somewhere before?

I imagined a white lab coat over her suit.

“Oh.”

She was the lady who was lying on the grass earlier.

“Hmm?” The woman looked at me questioningly.

“Oh? Saki, do you know my professor?” asked Yomiuri.

“U-um, no. But, I, uh…saw her…on the grass…”

I couldn’t bring myself to say to Yomiuri that I’d seen the older woman lying down on the lawn, but she seemed to figure it out immediately.

“Professor Kudou…were you at it again? Aren’t you wearing an expensive brand-name suit for the open campus? You’re going to ruin it…”

“I wore a lab coat over it.”

“That’s no excuse…”

“Whether something is a sufficient excuse is subjective. Life is too short to discuss the pros and cons of mistreating expensive clothes. Forget about that, Yomiuri, and tell me about the pretty young lady standing next to you.”

Yomiuri looked like she wanted to say more, but in the end, she gave up and introduced me.

“…This is Saki Ayase. We work at the same bookstore.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said. “I’m, uh, Saki Ayase.” I then bowed to the woman in the light purple suit.

“Mm, perfect,” she muttered.

Perfect? For what?

“Nice to meet you, Saki,” she continued. “I’m Eiha Kudou. I’m an associate professor here, and I study general ethics. You look like a high school student. Is that correct?”

“Yes… I’m a second-year.”

“Perfect. Wonderful. Absolutely perfect. I have a serious question for you.”

The words seemed to flow out of her mouth. I could tell that she was smart. She was a university professor, after all.

“Yes, ma’am,” I said. “Go ahead.”

“How many people have you done it with?”

“Huh?”

For a moment, I didn’t understand what she meant. Done it with…? Like done in? How many people I’ve killed? …She couldn’t possibly mean that, right?

I left home as soon as I finished breakfast and rode through the Omotesando area on my bicycle.

Lots of people were out, and though it wasn’t yet nine in the morning, when I glanced over at the sidewalk, it was so packed, the pedestrians were shoulder to shoulder.

I never want to be walking through here on the weekend, I thought as I pedaled. Man, I sound like a total introvert.

It felt like the wind was gradually losing its summer heat. I no longer smelled the asphalt burning in the sun, and my arms no longer stung like they were slowly burning. Soon, autumn would bring still cooler weather.

I parked my bike in the lot and looked up at my prep school building.

Almost a month had gone by since I decided to attend weekend classes here. I told my parents that since I’d gotten markedly better scores on my exams after summer break, I wanted to start attending regularly.

That wasn’t a lie. But the real reason was that I wanted something to focus on to help me forget my feelings for Ayase. I’d have to spend a large portion of the money I made working at the bookstore on my tuition, but there wasn’t anything I could do about that.

Besides, when you were really determined to avoid the truth, that energy could be harnessed to achieve major results, and if I kept getting better grades, it looked like I could start aiming for better colleges. My teacher had even said as much during my parent-teacher conference the other day.

I stepped inside the building, then immediately came to a halt. Usually, I would have headed directly to class, but something occurred to me. I checked the prep school’s map and began heading in a slightly different direction.

I arrived in front of a door and checked the sign—it read STUDY HALL.

So it was really here. I’d never noticed this place before.

Quietly, I opened the door.

There were a number of desks lined up with partitions around them to help block out distractions, though very few people were using them. That made sense to me, of course. Most people probably saw prep school as a place to listen to lectures. If they wanted to study by themselves, they could visit a library or go to a café. A fair number, like me, probably didn’t even know this place existed.

In the very back, I spotted the person I’d been looking for: Summer Sail—or rather, Kaho—Fujinami.

Her row happened to be vacant. Oh, I see. I bet the back row is the best place to concentrate, since there isn’t anyone sitting behind you.

Fujinami suddenly looked up and noticed me. I greeted her with a light bow, and she put a finger to her lips, as if to remind me that there was no talking in the study hall. That was fine—that wasn’t why I was here.

I took a seat in the back row and pulled out my notebook and writing utensils. Without saying a word (of course), I began studying.

After solving a few problems, I noticed how comfortable it was in the study hall. The room was air-conditioned, and thanks to the partitions to my right and left, I could focus without fear of distraction. Plus, the fact that everyone else in the room was studying helped motivate me. In that sense, it was much better than a library or a coffee shop, where anyone might drop in for any number of reasons.

Eventually, my concentration wore off, and I realized it was past noon. My stomach grumbled. I looked around and saw that many of the other students had left. They’d probably gone out to get lunch. I tidied up my desk and stood, planning to head to a convenience store to pick up something to eat.

Almost at the same time, Fujinami got up and started walking in my direction.

I was curious but didn’t say anything until we’d left the room so I wouldn’t distract the students still studying. Once we were in the hallway, I approached her.

“Are you going out to lunch, too?” I asked.

“Yes. Oh, and…”

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to talk to me, since you came all the way to the back to sit down.”

“Oh, um…” I did want to talk to her. I’d wanted to since we ran into each other at the golf simulator. But… “Yeah, but I don’t have anything in particular I want to discuss with you…”

“Oh. Okay.”

“…And if you’re planning to eat lunch, maybe you should hurry and do that first.”

“I was just going to buy something at a convenience store,” she said.

“Oh. Me too.”

“Then let’s go together. We can eat in the lounge.”

“Come to think of it, I’ve never been to the lounge. Okay, let’s go.”

“All right.”

According to Fujinami, the lounge was a break room that anyone could use. You could eat there, though there were a few stipulations. For example, soft drinks were allowed, but dishes like noodles that included bowls of soup and foods with strong smells weren’t. It was basically no different from the break room at the bookstore.

We went to a convenience store next to the prep school to buy our food. I got a bread roll with a savory filling and a bottle of tea. Fujinami reached for a rice ball, then decided against it and settled on a sweet sandwich filled with fruit and whipped cream, and a bottle of vegetable juice.

We took our purchases to the lounge, sat at the same table, and struck up a conversation.

I had wanted to talk with her, but I didn’t have anything in particular I wanted to say. Pretty soon, we ran out of topics.

“So you weren’t lying,” said Fujinami. “You really didn’t have anything you wanted to talk about.” She looked surprised, and I felt a little bad. She was right. What the heck am I doing?

“I guess not.”

“I thought about sending you away, saying, ‘I’m here to study, so I’m not really interested in that kind of thing…’”

Oh. She thought I was trying to pick her up.

“That really wasn’t my intention. It’s just, we ran into each other a few days ago, and I was a bit curious about you.”

“That’s a standard pickup line, you know. ‘You just caught my interest,’ and so on.”

“…Is it?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry. I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable.” I offered her a sincere bow.

“It’s okay. I can see that’s not what you intended. I’m just tired of being seen as that type of girl.”

“What type of girl?”

“One who’s easy to pick up. I don’t go to school, so people tend to think I’m a party girl. The sad thing is, they aren’t entirely wrong.”

“You don’t go to school? Oh, I don’t mean to pry or anything.”

“It’s fine. To be more precise, I don’t go to school during the day.”

“Oh, so you go to a night school?”

“My daily schedule is different from that of kids who go to school during the day, so people often think I don’t go to school at all. Hey, Asamura… What do you think about girls who go to school in the evening and show up at arcades in the middle of the night?”

I had a feeling I’d heard something similar once before.

“I think they’re girls who go to school in the evening and show up at arcades in the middle of the night.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Really? You don’t think I’m strange? Or that I have behavioral issues? Or that I’m the kind of girl who fools around and goes with any guy who asks?”

Aha. So that’s why she thought I was trying to pick her up.

“Sorry. I don’t know anyone else who goes to night school, so I don’t really have an impression of what those people are like. I hope I’m not being offensive, but I really haven’t been looking at you like that.”

“Hmm. Well…if you’re being honest, then that’s very fair of you. I appreciate it.”

“Actually, what I was really curious about…” This was a kind of prejudice, too, of course. “…was whether you really liked golf that much.”

Her eyes widened, and she stared at me. “That’s what you were wondering?”

“It’s kind of unexpected, right? A girl going to a golf simulator so late at night. It makes you wonder.”

“I don’t want to go that late. I can’t help it. That’s just what time it is after I’m done with work and school.”

“Yeah, I figured as much when you told me you go to night school.”

The night school system was set up to give people who worked a chance to receive a high school education. If Fujinami went to night school after work, she wouldn’t finish studying until late. In that case, it made sense for her to show up at that hour. But why she would go to so much trouble to practice golf was still a mystery.

“Everyone in my family loves golf,” she said. “I thought they’d like it if I could play with them…”

“Oh.”

“My family isn’t so well-off anymore, but those people—my parents—met at their university’s golf club, and they still love the sport. I thought we could go to a golf course together if I improved my skills.”

“Ah. That sounds nice,” I said, though I wasn’t sure why she’d called her parents “those people.” That was none of my business, however, so I decided not to mention it.

Seeing her up close now, I was reminded of how tall she was. She had to be at least 180 centimeters. It was the weekend, but she was dressed simply and didn’t wear any jewelry. She chose her words carefully when she spoke, and though she said guys often tried to pick her up, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she said she was an honor student at Suisei High School. I could tell she was intelligent just from our casual chat.

Then I noticed that her ears were pierced.

“People tend to think I’m a party girl. The sad thing is, they aren’t entirely wrong.”

It seemed odd that she had her ears pierced but wore no earrings. I wondered if there was a story there.

“Do you judge everything that impartially, Asamura?”

“I try, but I’m not sure…”

After reading a lot of books, I started consciously trying to avoid having tunnel vision and being arrogant or narcissistic.

“I see. Well, you seem like a very fair person, from my point of view.”

“Thanks. That’s how I’d like to be,” I said, and she smiled a little.

“I figured I wouldn’t bother talking to any of the other students at this prep school, but I enjoy talking to you, Asamura.”

“Yeah?”

“Will you be at the study hall again tomorrow?”

“I have classes in the afternoon on Saturdays and Sundays, but I can be there in the morning.”

“Then let’s have lunch together again.” She looked a bit more relaxed now.

“Okay,” I said.

She finished eating, gathered up her garbage, and stood.

I followed her out the door and said, “Hey, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Oh? …What?”

“That rice ball at the convenience store. Did they not have any fillings you liked?”

“You were watching me?”

“Well, sort of.”

“Oh yeah. At first, I considered getting a rice ball, but you know…”

Hmm?

“The seaweed sticks to your teeth, right?” she continued. “That’s why I decided against it.”

“Oh.”

“Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow!” She headed quickly back to the study hall. It almost felt like she was fleeing.

The summer heat seemed to be making one last desperate comeback. Temperatures kept going up as the sun rose in the sky, and by the time I reached my prep school, it must have been upward of thirty degrees Celsius.

I practically ran inside, fleeing from the heat. Behind me, the automatic doors closed, shutting out the hot air, and I was finally able to breathe. I let out a big sigh and proceeded down the hall.

Farther into the building, I opened the door marked STUDY HALL. I arrived at about the same time as yesterday, but now the place was packed.

I turned around and saw Fujinami seated in the same spot where I’d found her the day before. The space next to hers was fortunately unoccupied, so I grabbed it and sat down. Her books were already open, and she was hard at work.

Wordlessly, I opened my notebook and drill book and prepared to tackle physics—the subject I’d scored worst in on my final exams. To be precise, I’d gotten a seventy.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand what we’d been taught. Or I didn’t think so, at least. If the test was accurate, my score meant that I’d understood about 70 percent of the material. The problem was that I was bad at putting together formulas and doing calculations.

The phenomena we studied in high school physics were the type of thing you often came across in books, so I had already known about most of it before taking the class. But when it came to calculations, if you didn’t move your hands and do lots of practice problems, you’d never get any faster at them.

Anyway… Hmm. “Give the magnitude of acceleration acting on an object placed on a smooth, inclined plane,” huh?

This applies to exam questions in all subjects, but the first order of business is always to read the question carefully.

For example, take this “smooth, inclined plane.” This description often means “a plane where you don’t need to worry about friction.” In real life, cardboard boxes sitting on a slope don’t often start tumbling down, because there is too much friction with the ground. But we get few practical problems like that in high school physics.

I wondered what it was like in college and thought about the conversation I’d had with Ayase the previous day.

“It’s not just a place where people tell you to think—you have to start by finding something to think about by yourself.”

Did she mean that in college, you could think up your own problems to solve? For example, I could think about what would happen if there was friction on the slope or what would happen if the slope was somewhere other than on Earth. That sounded fun.

I remembered a passage in a science fiction novel I once read that described how the gravity on the surface of the moon was less than that on Earth, and therefore droplets of water would take longer to slide down a person’s skin. If that’s true, it would make animating a shower scene on the moon a lot more troublesome.

…Acceleration, huh? Acceleration. Um…

I could hear the sounds of a pencil scratching against a notebook and of pages being turned at the desk beside mine. As I finished my drills and turned the page, I’d hear a page being flipped to my side, as though we were competing. I felt a strange sense of solidarity well up inside me.

For a while, I sat there in the study hall next to Fujinami, fully focused on my drills.

Eventually, I heard a clatter beside me. I gasped, then looked up and saw that Fujinami had stood and was looking at me. Without a word, she picked up her bag and pointed to the door.

What? Already?

I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was past twelve. I’d been so focused that I hadn’t noticed it was already lunchtime.

Once we were out in the hallway, Fujinami said, “Instead of hitting that convenience store today, how about going to a diner?”

“A diner?”

“I know one with reasonable prices.”

“Okay.” I figured it might be good to eat out now and again. “Yeah, let’s go.”

The heat washed over us as we left the building.

“It sure is hot out here,” I said.

“Yeah, but fall is here. It’s about time for the heat to disappear for good.”

We talked about the weather as we walked, and before long, we had arrived at the diner. As Fujinami had said, it was an affordable Italian food chain frequented by students.

We were shown inside, where the air conditioner was on full blast, and taken to a booth by the window facing the street. Fujinami and I sat across from each other.

We ordered quickly, since we didn’t have much time. I asked for carbonara, and she ordered spaghetti with peperoncino sauce.

“I like ordering spicy food and then drizzling lots of olive oil on top,” she said.

“I like spicy food, too, but…I’m starving after all that concentration.”

“Yeah, it took you forever to notice.”

“Huh?”

“I was watching you for a while…waiting for you to notice.”

Was she?

I thought I’d heard her stand up. But maybe I’d actually felt her looking at me.

“You should have said something.”

“I didn’t want to distract the people around us.”

“So why did you want to come to a diner today?”

“While I was watching you, I got a little curious, and I wanted to have a real talk with you. There are too many people in the lounge, so it’s hard to be open. Oh, I’ll get us some water. It’s self-service.”

“I’ll get it.”

“No, you stay here.”

“I can get my share, at least.”

To avoid an argument, we both went to get water. We also grabbed some napkins, then returned to our booth.

It took a while for our pasta to arrive.

When it came, Fujinami got the olive oil and poured a good amount over her food. Then she ground the creaky little pepper mill over it as well, twirled the pasta around with her fork, and began eating. She looked like she was used to this routine, and I wondered if she came here often.

What made her curious about me? Did I do something weird? Then it occurred to me that if I wanted to keep up this new relationship, I needed to put in some effort, too.

“Fujinami, do you like books?” I asked.

“Are you asking if I read? I don’t mind it.”

That was a strange way to answer my question.

“Do you mean…you aren’t all that enthusiastic about it?”

“Oh no. I enjoy reading. It’s a very cost-effective pastime. I think I mentioned to you before that I’m not too well-off, so it’s hard to do things that cost money.”

“I see…”

“You know that golf place? It’s cheap to go there on weekday nights. I can get in a lot of practice for the price of two paperbacks.”

Plus, it sounded like she’d make her family happy if she improved her skills.

“What kind of books do you read, Asamura?” she asked.

“Well…I guess I like to read all sorts of things. I’m not really picky. I read everything from popular fiction to foreign novels, science fiction, and light novels.”

“Light novels? That’s not really a genre, is it?”

I couldn’t help smiling. It seemed she knew her stuff.

“You’re right. Light novels include science fiction and mystery stories, dramas about young people, war stories, and even sports stories… It really isn’t a single genre. I heard it used to be called ‘juvenile fiction’ back before we were born.”

“Is that true?”

“A juvenile is a young person, and that’s the target audience of those books.”

In other words, the term covered anything written for young people. My understanding was that light novels were supposed to be light, easy reads—though there were other varying opinions.

“Are you good at physics because you like science fiction?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m good at it… In fact, my grades aren’t all that high.”

“Really? You were doing physics drills this morning, right? Judging by the rate you were going, I thought you must be good at them.”

That was a surprise. It sounded like she’d been watching me pretty closely.

“I do like the subject, though.”

“Have you read any interesting novels lately?”

I thought about that for a few moments and then told her about a sci-fi novel I’d recently gotten into. It was a translation of a global bestseller, and I’d heard that even a former US president had read it. That had nothing to do with my enjoyment, of course. I found the depictions of the alien civilization odd and thrilling…and they made it an exciting read.

“I’ve seen that one at the bookstore,” she said. “But it’s a hardcover, and the price is way too high for me…”

“Yeah, it’s kind of expensive.”

I’d read it because Yomiuri recommended it to me. If she hadn’t, I probably wouldn’t have splurged. A hardcover book was challenging, price-wise, for a high school student, even if I did have a part-time job.

“Do you have any cheaper recommendations?”

“How about a book that was recently made into a movie? This one has a paperback edition. It’s a story about a cat that goes looking for summer.”

“Oh, I’ve read that one. It was originally a classic science fiction novel overseas, wasn’t it? Even I know that much. The cat was cute. I saw a video clip of the trailer. The cat was really cute.”

She’d repeated herself. I wondered if she liked cats.

“Speaking of cats, there’s also a story where one disappears.”

“Oh yeah…”

We spoke animatedly for a while about books featuring cats. Then I recalled that Yomiuri liked mysteries and had told me about a novel with a cat detective. I mentioned this to Fujinami, and she asked if it was any good. I told her I’d read a little and found it entertaining.

It was about a very smart cat who helped the hopeless humans around it solve crimes swiftly and skillfully. How could a story like that be boring? Fujinami seemed interested.

She and I had similar tastes in books, and we thought similarly. I felt as comfortable with her as when I was talking with Ayase.

I gazed out the window and thought, It’s nice to meet new people.

And there she was—Ayase.

She was alone with a boy. They were both standing in the shade next to a convenience store, trying to keep out of the sun. She looked like she was having a good time talking with him.

What was she doing here? And who was that boy she was with?

I reflexively turned away. They were some distance from the window, and it was hard to make out his face. But I had a feeling I’d seen him somewhere before.

I recalled Ayase telling me that she had a study session that day. What was she doing? Why were there only the two of them? Where were her other classmates?

I sighed, then realized what I was doing and looked up. “Oh…sorry. What were we talking about?”

“We weren’t talking about anything just now.”

Ngh… This is getting awkward.

I couldn’t exactly tell her I’d seen Ayase outside and gotten distracted.

I tried to continue our conversation. “Oh yeah. Well, um…”

“You don’t have to force yourself to find a topic. That’s actually what I was curious about. It’s true that I was the one who mentioned the study hall when we met at the golf simulator. But when I saw you there yesterday…” For a split second, she looked unsure if she should go on. In the end, she went ahead. “…You looked like you were running from something.”

Like I was running…?

I felt my chest constrict.

“That’s what you thought?”

“Yes.”

The way she was looking at me now seemed different from before. Her brownish-black eyes gazed into mine as if she could see straight into my soul. I felt like I was being subjected to an X-ray or an MRI.

“Your expression was one I know well, and that made me curious. You were studying hard, and I could tell you were a serious person. When I realized you weren’t trying to pick me up, I figured you must be trying to escape from something.”

“I wonder if that’s true.”

I hadn’t been consciously running away. But now that she mentioned it, I couldn’t deny that she was right.

I thought I’d taken a step forward and found something new. But it seemed I’d actually been going backward. And if that were true, then I was being very rude to Fujinami, using her as an escape from my problems.

“Sorry,” I said.

“No need to apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong yet, and I can understand how you feel.”

What does she mean by that?

“I, too, have sought out others as an escape… Oh, hey. Mind if I order a flan for dessert? The flan here is great.” She’d already picked up the electronic tablet and started punching in her order. “This is my one joy in life. It’s one of the few luxuries I can afford on my meager salary. I should really pack my lunch each day, but considering how tired I am after work, it’s important to make sure that I get plenty of sleep. And it’s less of a burden if I insist on eating out every day.”

I was about to ask, “Less of a burden on whom?” And then I remembered something.

Yesterday, she’d referred to her parents as “those people.” It had seemed strange to me and stuck out in my mind. I got the impression from her dismissive language that Fujinami and her parents weren’t very close. But it didn’t seem like she hated them or anything. She seemed almost…shy.

“Saki! Over here!”

Maaya was waving at me from past the train station ticket gate as I made my way over to her. She was surrounded by our classmates, and I picked up my pace, thinking I might be the last one to arrive. As I walked, I counted how many people were there: Two boys and three girls, including Maaya. I was the sixth and final member, as I’d thought.

“Sorry. Have I kept you waiting?” I asked.

“Not at all! In fact, you’re early!” Maaya smiled, but I wasn’t sure whether to believe her.

Today, we were having a study session at Maaya’s place. She lived in an apartment building nearby, but she seldom invited anyone over.

She had several younger brothers at home whom she was always taking care of, and if she had friends over, she wouldn’t be able to look after them. Today, however, her parents had taken the boys out. In the meantime, we could all use her family’s huge living room—the whole reason for holding the study session there.

After a short walk from the train station, we arrived at her apartment.

“Oh, it’s huge!” said one of our classmates.

“It’s enormous!” said another.

Maaya replied, “I did my best!”

To which I shot back, “It’s not like you built the place, Maaya.”

“Hey, now! No need to be rude, Saki!”

Maaya was good at keeping everyone laughing, unlike me.

I thought about what Professor Kudou said the day before as I glanced at the five other students. There were four girls, including Maaya and me, and two boys, including Shinjou, who suggested the study session. I was determined to take the time to get to know them.

We walked through the apartment’s lobby and got on an elevator. It was small, considering the size of the building, and the six of us could barely fit. In the end, the two boys said they’d wait for the next one.

Soon, we heard a rush of air as the elevator doors opened, and we stepped out.

We approached the door to Maaya’s apartment. A wooden sign with the word WELCOME written in cute letters hung beneath the suite number. The family’s names, including their last name, weren’t listed anywhere, however. I figured this was due to security concerns.

We walked inside, and Maaya led us to the living room, which was at least fifteen square meters in size. Everyone was impressed.

“It’s so big…”

“It’s certainly large enough to fit all of us.”

“Lucky you.”

“Okay, guys,” said Maaya, “sit wherever you want!”

She gestured toward a large table big enough for six people, and we all took our seats. At that point, I noticed our host had gone to the kitchen, so I put down my bag and followed her.

“Oh, Saki? This isn’t the way to the bathroom.”

“I’m not looking for the bathroom, dummy. Give me that.”

I grabbed three liter-sized bottles of tea from her arms and carried them to the table.

“Thanks, Saki. Hey, everyone! Hurry up and get your tea!” said a girl Maaya called Yumi. Shinjou stood up hastily and started helping out.

Glasses and coasters were already set on the table.

“You can use tissues to wipe the moisture from your glass if you like,” said Maaya.

“Maaya, just sit down, okay? You’re making everyone anxious.”

“You’re too kind, Saki. The snacks are over here. They’re the kind you can eat without getting your fingers dirty.”

“…We’re having a study session, right?” asked another girl.

“Of course! That means sweets are mandatory!”

“Maaya, I think your idea of a study session is a little different from mine…”

Everyone laughed. I didn’t think the girl had been joking, though. At this rate, we were going to end up having a tea party rather than a study session. Considering my goal here, that wouldn’t be all bad—or wait…

“Now, let’s decide how we’re going to do this,” Maaya said.

“Is there a particular subject you want to cover?” I asked.

“Anything is fine with me!”

“Narasaka’s at the top of the class, after all,” said someone else.

“She doesn’t understand our woes!” added another.

“Heh-heh. Feel free to keep singing my praises. But jokes aside, how about tackling each person’s worst subject?”

“Huh? Our worst subject?” said Yumi, pronouncing each syllable like she hadn’t understood the words.

“I’m guessing your worst subject is Japanese, huh, Yumi?”

Yumi puffed out her cheeks and sulked. It was a cute expression on her.

“And yes,” Maaya continued. “We have six people, and each one has a subject they’re good at. That means we can all serve as a coach for someone else.”

That made sense to me.

Most of the time, the difference between being good at a subject or having trouble with it wasn’t about knowing the right answer but about knowing how to find the right answer. If a person was good at a subject, even if they didn’t know the answer immediately, they knew where to look or how to think about the problem.

On the other hand, when it came to subjects a person was less confident in, they often didn’t even know how to check a dictionary, find a similar problem in a workbook, or even track down information online.

What should you do in a situation like that? A few months ago, I probably wouldn’t have known. But now I knew the answer: You should ask someone to help you.

It was the same as how you could see farther into the distance atop someone else’s shoulders.

A study session with my classmates where we all shared our knowledge… This was definitely a new experience for me. Though Asamura—I mean, my brother—had helped me study once before.

This situation would require us all to reveal our deficiencies and ask for help. And in return, we’d hear someone else out about their own weaknesses and try to mentor them if we could. It was based on give-and-take—a familiar principle, and yet it was something I hadn’t been able to do before.

But I got it now.

Asking others for help was a skill, and you had to practice to get better at it.

I hated relying on others and having them rely on me. But that was because I didn’t know what other people wanted or what would make them happy. I always thought that since we couldn’t see into other people’s minds, there was no way to know what they were looking for unless they spoke up. It was unfair for someone to expect me to read their mind, after all.

If someone wanted something, it was my opinion that they should just say so. And if there was something they didn’t want me to do, they should say that, too. If we could just be honest with one another and talk things out, we could all be happy.

I still mostly agreed with that line of thought, and I didn’t think I was wrong. But…here I was, violating my own policy. I couldn’t even share my true feelings with the person I most needed to discuss them with.

I thought about my mom and my birth father. All Mom had done was start working to support him after he failed. And when she happened to succeed, he started resenting her. I always thought that was incredibly unfair and cruel of him.

I hadn’t forgiven him for making my mom sad, but I might understand him a little better now. He wasn’t able to show her his vulnerabilities or depend on her. He and Mom didn’t have a give-and-take relationship. He didn’t know how to depend on her.

Wasn’t I the same? I could admit that I struggled with Modern Japanese, but I still couldn’t reveal the feelings hidden in my heart. I kept telling myself it was because I couldn’t let Asamura find out, but was that really all there was to it?

“…ki! Saki!”

“Huh?!”

I gasped and looked up. Maaya was waving a hand in front of my face.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

As soon as I heard those words, I realized I was pretty hungry. I glanced at my phone and saw that it was three minutes to twelve.

“Oh! Is it already noon?”

“Yep. What do you want to do? Do you want to order something? Or should I make us lunch?”

Maaya was offering to cook, but it seemed like too much trouble to prepare food for six people. That said, having something delivered would cost too much.

“I’ll go and buy something at a convenience store,” I said.

“Mmm. Why don’t we all go together?”

“We’d be a nuisance to the store if all of us went. If there’s something you want, just tell me, and I’ll buy it.”

“I’d rather not sit on my hands while you do all the work. Why don’t I make something simple to go with the stuff you buy?”

I jotted down everyone’s order on my phone, and it wound up being pretty big—particularly the drinks. But I wasn’t too worried, since I was used to going shopping and buying heavy items like rice.

“That’s a lot for one person to carry,” said Shinjou. “I’ll go with you and help bring everything back.”

“Oh yeah… I think I’ll take you up on that.”

I agreed to let Shinjou come along, and the two of us set out for the convenience store.

The others would follow Maaya’s instructions and cook up something simple while they waited.

There was a convenience store near the apartment, facing the main road. I could see a chain restaurant serving Italian food that was popular with students across the intersection.

Come to think of it, I’d seen a sign for a big prep school on my way. Wouldn’t it be funny if that was Asamura’s prep school? There weren’t many places like that in the area, so it wouldn’t be surprising.

…Oops. I should stop thinking about Asamura. Hadn’t I just decided to focus on forming new relationships?

Shinjou and I stepped inside the convenience store with its bold red-and-green sign and picked up some bread, rice balls, and sandwiches. We decided to buy three extra drink bottles, since we were running low on tea.

While I was waiting for the clerk to ring up the order, Shinjou casually pulled over the heavier bag containing the drinks and picked it up.

“I can take some of that,” I said.

“In that case, here,” he said, adding a bulky but light container of potato chips into my bag.

That was sneaky of him. It felt even sneakier than if he’d insisted on carrying everything.

“I see,” I said.

“Hmm?”

I watched Shinjou’s smiling face and recalled my classmates gossiping about how all the girls loved him. It was no wonder. He was a real gentleman.

“Thanks for carrying all that.”

“You’ve got a bag, too,” he pointed out.

“That’s true, but…”

Maybe I was being cynical or jaded, but it was easier on me mentally to take the heavier load than to make someone else carry it. I couldn’t help thinking, You don’t need to be so nice. I’d rather carry my own weight.

But as we left the store, I wound up totally embarrassing myself by nearly tripping on the curb. Shinjou grabbed my shoulder, and I managed not to fall.

“Th-thanks.”

“It’s nothing.”

It wasn’t nothing. He was holding heavy bags in both hands and had still managed to keep me from falling.

“I wouldn’t mind if you relied on me more,” he mumbled.

Personally, I wanted to be able to carry the heavier bag and manage not to fall without any help. If I couldn’t do that, how could I become independent?

Instead, because I kept having to rely on him, all I felt was doubt. Was living independently even possible for me?

“Hey, Ayase?” When he called my name, I stopped thinking and raised my head. “You and Asamura are siblings, right?”

I flinched. “Oh… I guess a bunch of people already know, huh?”

“I’m not sure. I heard from Asamura.”

“What…?!”

“I happened to see your mom go from his conference to yours the other day, so I asked him about it.”

“Oh… I see.”

I was a little relieved. I didn’t think Asamura was the type to go around telling everyone our private business. But in a situation like that, he would have had no other choice.

Perhaps sensing that I didn’t want to say more, Shinjou changed the subject.

“You seem like you’ve really got your stuff together. I actually thought you might have a younger brother, rather than an older one.”

“Oh no, that’s not true at all.”

I didn’t have anything together. I was a mess inside.

“Well, you look that way to me,” he said.

“You give me too much credit. I bet you’re way more reliable and put-together than me. You seem like an older brother.”

“Well, I do have a younger sister.”

“I see. Do the two of you…get along?”

“I suppose so. About as well as you’d expect for siblings.”

“Do you carry heavy things for her?”

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Do you hold her hand so she doesn’t fall?”

“I used to when she was younger.”

I was teasing him a little. I enjoyed imagining his younger sister bragging about her reliable older brother.

“You take good care of your sister, don’t you? I think that’s really nice.”

“Any brother would,” he said easily, and I silently agreed.

Yeah, you’re right. Any brother would.

I thought about the various things Asamura had done for me—like helping me look for a part-time job and thinking of ways to improve my grades in Modern Japanese—and wondered if those were typical things a brother might do for his younger sister.

Once again, I got lost in my thoughts.

The next time I raised my head, we were back at Maaya’s apartment building.

Our study session ended a little before six in the evening.

Since it was the end of September, the sun had already begun to set by five thirty, though it was still light outside. It would be dark soon, so it was a good time to call it a day. Plus, Maaya’s parents had called and said they’d be home a little after six.

There were a lot of distractions, but I thought we got a fair amount of studying done, too. At least as far as I was concerned, it had been a meaningful and productive day.

When we left Maaya’s apartment, the eastern sky was already dark, with a tinge of bloodred sunset to the west.

Maaya said she’d walk us to the train station, but we insisted she stay behind to welcome her brothers home. Then the rest of us set off together.

Today was the first time since our summer trip to the pool that I had walked with my classmates and chatted with them, and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it.

“Hey, Ayase?” Shinjou called out to me, and I stopped.

“What’s up, Shinjou?”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Something about his tone felt strange. The others kept walking, but I didn’t think we’d have any trouble catching up.

“As long as you don’t mind falling behind.”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Well…how do I put it? Uh…”

Shinjou casually moved to my side and slowly started walking again. Is he trying to make sure we don’t lose the others while still keeping our distance?

“What is it?” I asked.

“I was just thinking about how hot it still is.”

“Yeah, it’s really sticking around this year. The cicadas have all gone quiet, but it still feels like the middle of the summer.”

Despite the lingering heat, however, the season was slowly changing. The morning weather report always showed a heatstroke warning, and it seemed like it had been bright red all across the country for ages. But as of today, it was all yellow and green.

The sunflowers growing along the roads had withered, and the sky over the highway, dyed rosy pink in the sunset, was now filled with the altocumulus clouds of autumn instead of the cumulonimbus clouds typical of summer.

As the streetlamps came on that evening, the scenery was calming, rather than hot and oppressive. Shinjou slowed down so much, I thought our long, long shadows might even catch up with us. Finally, he came to a complete stop, and I was forced to stop, too.

Before I knew it, he had turned in my direction. For some reason, his gaze made me restless.

“I’m in love with you,” he said.

Stunned, I almost cried out, but I managed to swallow the sound.

As I stood there silently, Shinjou began to look uncertain.

“Ayase, I’m in love with you,” he said again, as if making sure I’d heard.

“Oh, you are?”

Oops. What the heck is he supposed to say to that?

We both clammed up, and things started to feel awkward.

“…Um, thanks. I’m flattered, but…” I searched for the right words.

He’s…confessing to me, right? What should I do? I had no idea he felt that way about me.

What can I say to turn him down…?

Wait, what am I thinking? I was astonished at my own thoughts. Why was I determined to say no to him right from the outset…?

Shinjou was an attractive guy. Everyone thought so. And after spending the day with him, I could tell he was a good person. I knew several girls in our class were very fond of him. Logically, he should have been a good catch.

He was kind and attentive. It would be great to have an older brother like him.

I thought about the discomfort I’d felt when he called out to me earlier. I’d probably sensed that this was coming and pretended not to notice.

“I’m sorry,” I said and bowed. “I don’t think I can see you that way…”

“But you aren’t going out with anyone else, right?”

“Huh? Well… No, I guess not.”

“Then I want you to spend some time with me. Maybe it would change your mind.”

Is that how these things work?

“Or do you have feelings for someone else and you just haven’t told them yet?”

“N-no, I don’t.”

“And your answer is still no?”

“It’s still no.”

I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t imagine a future where I fell in love with Shinjou. Even though I knew he was a good person and a great brother.

“Is it because of Asamura?”

“What?”

“Never mind. Okay…I understand. I’ll stop pushing you. I’d like it if we could stay close as classmates.”

“…Shinjou.”

“I know. Maybe I’ll make friends with Asamura.”

That surprised me.

“Why?” What did Asamura have to do with this?

“You’re in love with your stepbrother, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I…”

I hesitated.

“Ha-ha-ha. So you won’t deny it. You were pretty quick to turn me down, though.”

“I love him as a brother.”

“Hmm. Well, whatever you say. Maybe if I figure out what kind of guy you like, I’ll have a shot.”

I could tell he was joking, but I couldn’t understand his logic. If he tried to act like Asamura, wouldn’t I just see him as a brother, too? Though I found his logic flawed, he didn’t seem like a bad person, and I thought it would be nice if Asamura had another friend.

Just then, I heard voices calling our names. Our classmates had stopped and were waiting for us to catch up.

The night sky had almost chased away the sunset. Once the curtain of darkness fell, we would be yet another day into the new season.

By the time we arrived at the station, the sky was fully black, and it was night.

As I reached out to push the button for our apartment elevator, I realized I had a text message from Asamura. He said he had somewhere to go after work and would be home late.

The thought of him spending more time with her made something in my chest twist, but another part of me was relieved. What a delinquent, I thought, chuckling to myself.

My face felt hot. It would be better if I didn’t see him tonight.

I thought of Professor Kudou’s advice.

“But if you do spend time around other boys and your feelings stay the same, then those emotions are genuine, and I think you should cherish them.”

That strange woman seemed to know all sorts of hidden truths, and her words felt somehow magical. She seemed to be urging me forward, even if the path before me wasn’t strictly moral.

I needed time to calm down. If I could spend a day without seeing Asamura, I thought I could manage it. But what if tomorrow, after I’d calmed down, my conclusion remained the same?

“Um, excuse me…”

I noticed the air conditioner was making less noise than before.

The temperature must have been going down a little each day, but there was always a particular moment when you suddenly realized the season had changed.

Dad left for work earlier than usual in the morning. It seemed he still had lots to do, and he took off without eating breakfast. Akiko wasn’t home yet, which meant Ayase and I were the only ones in the apartment.

I opened the lid of the rice cooker and couldn’t stop myself from commenting. “Wow, that looks good.”

Among the sea of white rice, I saw little islands of yellow. A sweet aroma rose from the mixture. Could those be…?

“Oh, we’re having rice with chestnuts for breakfast,” Ayase said over her shoulder. She was at the stove, heating the miso soup.

“Chestnuts…It’s already that time of year, huh?”

This, too, was a minor change. But once all those little things added up, you’d suddenly think, Ah, a new season has begun.

“I felt like eating together this morning,” she said. “Is that okay?”

“Of course.”

I’d gotten the impression she was avoiding me lately, so her suggestion came as a surprise. But I felt the same way, so this was perfect. There was something I wanted to talk about, too.

It had been a while since we last set the table and got things ready together. When we were done, we sat down and began eating.

“Oh, you know what?” she said. “I also picked up ginkgo nuts and shiitake mushrooms when I bought the chestnuts.”

“Ginkgo nuts and shiitake mushrooms? …Are you planning to make chawanmushi?”

“Bingo. I don’t think I’ll have time to make it in the morning, but I thought I’d make it for dinner.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

We chatted for a while about trivial things, then began filling each other in on our lives over the past month, as if making up for all the conversations we hadn’t had lately.

“Oh. Didn’t you say you were having lunch with someone recently?” Ayase asked.

“Yeah. We ate at an Italian restaurant near our prep school. Their prices were low, just like everyone says.” Hesitantly, I added, “I thought I saw you while I was there. Did you go shopping at a convenience store across the street?”

“Huh?” Her eyes widened. “Oh yeah. I remember seeing an Italian place across the intersection. Is that where you went?”

“So it was you. I knew it. You were with a classmate, weren’t you?”

“That must have been when we went to buy lunch for everyone. I was with Shinjou. We were all over at Maaya’s apartment. You remember Shinjou, right? He went to the pool with us back during summer vacation.”

Once she said the name, I remembered him. It was the same guy who had approached me after my parent-teacher conference, holding a tennis racket in his hand.

I felt a lump in my throat. I didn’t have a right to feel that way, of course. I was being selfish.

“We needed lunch, drinks, and snacks, so we split up into two groups. The others stayed behind to make a little something with Maaya, while Shinjou and I picked up food and drinks at the convenience store.”

“Oh, that’s why.”

“Yep. I was going to go alone, but Shinjou wound up helping me out.”

That made sense. Now I understood why she’d been there.

“Can I ask a question, too?” she said.

“Of course.”

“You were pretty late getting home last night. You sent me a message but didn’t say what you were doing. Where were you, exactly?”

It was unusual for Ayase to ask for details like that.

“I walked around Shibuya after work.”

“What? You just walked? Were you with Yomiuri?”

“No. Remember I told you I was having lunch with someone? They invited me on an evening walk, and—”

“Wait a minute,” she said, and I stopped. “Are we talking about a girl?”

“Um…” Was that what she was concerned about? “Well, yeah.”

“Hmm… I see. And?”

I got the feeling she was a little angry, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. I thought back to what she’d said to me when we first met.

“I won’t expect anything from you, and I don’t want you to expect anything from me.”

I thought of that probing look she’d given me. Had she really not expected anything from me?

Then I asked myself the same question. I…had expected something from her. I was hoping she’d have special feelings, just for me.

I recalled what Fujinami had said to me about facing my feelings and how lies could only cover things up for so long. When you suppress your emotions, they continue to grow inside you, and they never go away.

In that case…

“I’d like to talk something over with you.”

My voice was loud and clear.

“Talk what over?” Ayase asked.

“I, uh…how do I put this? I think I have special feelings for you.”

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t regret speaking the moment the words were out of my mouth. But now that I’d said them, I couldn’t take them back. I was resolved to move forward, but that didn’t mean I had no reservations.

When she heard me, Ayase’s reaction was dramatic. “Huh…? What? Um, uh…you’re kidding.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“…Are you making fun of me?”

“I would never say something like that to make fun of you.”

“No, I guess you wouldn’t… You aren’t like that, Asamura.”

Oh.

“You just called me Asamura.”

“Huh? Oh.”

“That’s okay, forget about that right now.”

“Yeah, okay. So…feelings, huh?”

“I think I love you.”

She gasped. Her lips started to curve into a smile; then she pressed them tightly together.

“Do you mean you’re in love with me? Or that you love me as a sister?”

“Huh?” I hadn’t expected her to respond to my confession with a question.

“Do you mean you want to touch me and hold me? That you’d get jealous if you saw me with another guy? Is that the type of feeling you mean?”

I nodded. That was exactly what I was feeling.

It had started that summer, when I first thought, Oh. I love her. I couldn’t imagine a guy feeling that way about his sister.

Then yesterday, I’d felt my chest tighten when I saw her with another boy. If that wasn’t jealousy, then what was?

That was why I felt certain I loved her as a woman, not as my sister.

I explained all of that honestly.

“But feelings of love can exist between siblings,” said Ayase.

Now I was really surprised. But at the same time, I remembered how her mother, Akiko, had acted at my parent-teacher conference. My words had moved her, and she’d been so happy that she hugged me tight. Was that level of affection normal for them?

“Ayase, wait a minute.”

“Someone recently told me that…when a person has been starved of contact and approval from members of the opposite sex, then suddenly starts living in close proximity to one, they’re more susceptible to developing something similar to romantic feelings for them.”

I thought about this for a moment.

Was she saying that because my relationship with my mother had been so rocky, I’d developed something similar to romantic feelings for Ayase simply because we were living under the same roof?

“That’s just one possibility, right?” I asked.

“We can’t say for sure that isn’t what’s happening here.”

“Well, I guess not.”

“Is there a chance this is just an exaggeration of your brotherly feelings toward me?”

No, that couldn’t be—could it?

But Ayase’s insistence made my certainty of a few moments earlier melt away like a heat haze.

“When you put it that way…I guess I’m not sure.”

What I did know was that these feelings were uncharted territory for me.

Ayase’s face lost all expression, and she turned away.

After that, we awkwardly continued eating, barely speaking to each other.

Over the past month, I’d been trying to ignore my emotions. After all, I was Ayase’s older brother. That was why I started talking with other girls and trying to see their good points. But in the end, my feelings for Ayase didn’t change.

And yet now she was suggesting that it was all just brotherly affection.

Ayase finished breakfast, tidied up after herself, and got ready to leave for school, as usual.

I immediately followed her.

If things remained as they were, we’d be avoiding each other for another month.

I caught up to her at the door, where she was putting on her shoes. When she finished, she stood up and froze.

“Ayase.”

“Let me tell you something,” she said, still facing away from me. “I don’t mind at all.”

What?

I was about to ask what she meant, but before I could, she turned around, kicked off her shoes, grabbed my hand, and pulled me down the hall with unbelievable strength.

Stunned, I let her drag me into her room.

She closed the door, locked it, then glanced at the windows to make sure the curtains were closed. Then she turned to face me again. And…

“Huh?”

Time stopped.

I knew right away what she was doing, but it took a while for my brain to process it.

I felt warm.

What was this feeling? I couldn’t explain it well, but one word popped into my brain as it quickly turned to mush. Yes, a word so simple, it was almost funny.

I felt happy.

Our bodies were touching and overlapping, and I felt them melting into one.

Her arms wrapped tightly around my back. Though this gesture was symbolic of the kind of possessiveness we both hated, I was so happy she wanted me that I unconsciously moved to embrace her in return.

But Ayase was already moving away from me.

“Do you feel relieved?” she asked.

“Um…”

“Thank you for having the courage to say all that. It must have been tough thinking about it all on your own. I’m sure it was…a heavy burden.”

“Well… Yeah, maybe.”

“But don’t worry. I can probably take on some of it for you.”

In all honesty, I was more relieved than I was happy.

My confession was a risky move. It could have destroyed my entire relationship with Ayase. I wasn’t especially attractive, and Shinjou was a lot more popular than I was. And the two of us were family, which was a big constraint.

Thank you for reading Volume 4 of the novel version of Days with My Stepsister. I’m Ghost Mikawa, the author of this story and of the original YouTube version. Volume 3 was a little tense, so I made this volume relatively sweet. I think it’s a good volume for readers who want to see the characters happy. I hope you will continue to watch over them and the changes in their relationship as it wavers between that of siblings and that of a girl and a boy in love. Where will the story take them?

I have one piece of information to share. This book was awarded third place in the This Light Novel Is Amazing! 2022 Awards. I extend my deepest appreciation to all the fans who voted for it. I hope you’ll continue rooting for me as I do my best to keep creating quality work that lives up to this prestigious award.

Now for the acknowledgments. Thank you to Hiten, the illustrator; to Yuki Nakashima, who plays Saki; to Kouhei Amasaki, who plays Yuuta; to Ayu Suzuki, who plays Maaya; to Daiki Hamano, who plays Maru; to Minori Suzuki, who plays Shiori; to the video director, Yuusuke Ochiai; and to the staff members of the YouTube version; as well as to everyone who has been a part of this project. And most of all, to my readers—thank you, always.

I don’t have a lot of space here, but I want to express my utmost thanks to you all.