“I’ll be heading to my room as well. It doesn’t look like I’ll be getting any work done tonight.”

Oh no, even Papa left.

Which leaves one victorious Zenobia and one incredulous Routa.

“…Are you still going to resist?”

“Arwf… (I’ll come quietly…)”

“I’ll patrol the second floor. You patrol the first. We’ll meet each lap at the staircase of the great hall.”

“Arwf… (Fiiiine…)”

I wave my tail in response to Zenobia as she springs up the stairs and begin my patrol of the manor.

“Arwf, arwf. (I know we all kind of got caught up in the moment, but aren’t people normally afraid of bands of thieves?)”

What do I do if I find the thieves and they attack me? It’d be a huge loss if anything happened to the family pet.

“Squee. (There isn’t a thing in the world that would be able to harm you, my darling.)”

Idiot. Even if I’m 100 percent safe, scary things are still scary. Super-scary. That’s just the kind of dog I am.

“Squeak. (Your vigilance makes you all the more desirable, my beloved… Oh my, did I say ‘desirable’? That’s so embarrassing~)

Even if you blush, I can’t find you cute. You’re still just a dragon masquerading as a mouse.

Your human form was a little endearing, but that’s only because you looked like a kid. Either way, you’re outside of my strike zone.

“Arwf, arwf. (So my body really is super tough?)”

Being able to fire laser beams and break swords with my face isn’t very useful for pet life, but those abilities do come in handy in times like this.

Guess I better give thanks to that ditzy goddess.

But wait. If I weren’t a monster to begin with, I probably never would have had as many problems!

Tch, now I’m just contradicting myself.

“Squeak. (You’re Fenrir, King of the Fen Wolves. What nonsense are you spouting? How could any beast who defeated me, the great Lenowyrm, be weak? Even in your youth, you are still the most ferocious of all. Yes, you will truly make a fitting groom, my beloved.)”

With emphasis, no thank you.

I’m fed delicious food, and I sleep and play whenever I like. I’m more than happy just cruising through life like this. So I’m sorry, but I’ll have to decline your proposal.

And if any villains—such as these thieves—try to get in the way of my happy pet life, I’ll use this Fenrir body to turn the tables on them.

I stand up on my back legs to try out some shadowboxing, but I’m still in a canine body, so it comes off as more of a silly waddle.

Also, I’m still rather afraid of fighting. Maybe if I find the thieves, I can just run away and get Zenobia. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

With that decided, I continue creeping quietly down the hall.

“Arwf, arwf? (Even the maids have retired early. It sure is quiet, isn’t it?)”

All the others have locked their doors and are shut up in their rooms, as Zenobia requested. This prevents amateurs from clumsily roaming about and then being caught and used as hostages by the thieves.

It’s Zenobia’s fault that I’m thinking like this.

I’m a bit uneasy that we only have two guards, but, well, if Zenobia’s reputation as a former top-rank adventurer isn’t just for show, I’m sure she’ll be able to handle things.

…She’ll be able to handle things, right? If there was ever a time that she absolutely had to be at the top of her game, this would be it.

“Mrooow. (Routaaa. I’ve come for a late-night snack. Gimme gimme.)”

Following the voice, a hole opens in midair and a cat falls out of it.

Damn it, Nahura’s back yet again. While she looks like nothing more than a strangely colored cat, she’s actually the familiar of a powerful witch.

But instead of using her magic for noble causes, she uses it to come over and steal food whenever she’s hungry. What a waste of teleportation magic.

“Arwf, arwf. (Pretty brazen from someone who isn’t even a house cat.)”

“Squee. (Exactly right. And riding about on my darling’s back without permission, no less. Brazen indeed.)”

I don’t think someone who’s living in someone else’s fur has the right to say that.

“Mrow? (Oh, come on, you’re going to get mad now, after all this time?)”

Nahura puts her forepaws up to her face and acts all bashful. Now, that’s cute.

And so, with one animal on my head and another on my back, I continue off down the hallway.

“Mew? (Awfully quiet tonight, isn’t it?)”

“Woof, woof. (Oh, right. Apparently, some burglars are gonna show up tonight.)”

“Mrow?! (Burglars?! …Hmm? How do you know they’re on their way?)”

“Squeak. (They sent advance warning.)”

“Mew? (An advance warning? Why would burglars do that? For what purpose?)”

“Arwf? (I have no idea. Why would they do that?)”

Papa was also curious about that part. One possibility is that it was simply to scare everyone in the mansion.

Or maybe someone just wants to play pretend as a phantom thief?

“Bark. (Maybe they’re trying to distract us with one thing while they go after something else.)”

If you think about it, that’s always one possible outcome of a warning.

If you’re told what the target is, you’ll do whatever you can to protect it. Look at us. We’ve got only two people on patrol, and we’re both guarding the inside of the mansion, leaving absolutely no one to watch the outside.

Which must mean that the thieves aren’t after some treasure inside the mansion, but rather something nearby.

“M-mew?! (D-did Routa just say something intelligent?!)”

“S-squeak?! (Are you all right, darling?! You didn’t eat something strange, did you?)”

“Arwf—? (Okay, you know what—?)”

Just as I am about to retort, my stomach growls.

“…Arwf. (…Maybe we should eat first.)”

““MrowSqueak! (Agreed!)””

That’s about the level you can expect from us three stooges.

I turn toward the kitchen and off we trot.

“Mrow? (What shall we have today? We just had ham recently. Are there any new smoked meats?)”

“Arwf, arwf… (Well, I’m pretty sure that back when I was eating the pot-au-feu the old man said something about making spare-rib bacon…)”

“Meow! (Bacon sounds great! I love bacon!)”

“Arwf. (There’s no way it’ll be ready to eat yet.)”

First you have to brine the meat, then slow-smoke it. It’s a pretty lengthy process.

I’m always stealing some, so I’ve become well acquainted with how it’s made.

It almost seems like he’s started smoking more meat for me than for everyone else in the mansion.

Sorry for the trouble, old man. But thanks as always.

And with my heart full of newfound appreciation, I’m off to steal more food tonight. Drool.

“Arwf…? (Huh? Do you hear voices coming from the kitchen…?)”

I hear female voices whispering to each other.

Maybe some of the maids got hungry. Everyone was shuffled off to bed early today, so who knows, maybe someone missed dinner?

You shouldn’t break the rules, little maids. You’ll have to be punished.

And by that I mean I’m going to surprise you and make you split your snack with me.

“Arwf… (All right, you two, pipe down…)”

“Squee… (You’re going to do something foolhardy again, aren’t you…?)”

“Mew… (Ooooh, I love playing pranks…)”

I crouch down and creep toward the kitchen. I lift my forepaws up to a window.

I slowly raise just my head and take a peek inside, and there I see…

“Got it. We’re in,” says a girl to her two companions while returning her lock-picking tools to her pouch.

“Keep quiet. The lights aren’t on, but they’ve probably posted guards.”

The tallest of the girls adjusts her hair ornament.

“Well, that’s why we wrote the warning letter. It draws the attention of the guards away and gives us the chance to sneak in,” responds the shortest as she pushes up her glasses.

The two of them follow after the girl who picked the lock, and they sneak into the room.

While there are differences in looks and physique, the three girls all share common features.

Like the silver hair and the long ears. Not to mention the inhuman beauty. All signs of the long-lived elves.

The elves trespassing in the mansion all seem very serious as they tiptoe around in light clothing.

“Where should we start our search?”

“I wish we knew more about the layout of this mansion. I didn’t have the time to investigate.”

“And what about our sisters? Who knows what they will be forced to endure while we take our time investigating? The sooner we can make this evil lord cough up wherever he could be holding them, the better.”

“Eruru, please don’t suggest such horrid things…”

“I’m with Ururu. We’re not actually a gang of thieves. We’re just here to save our sisters.”

“I’m sorry, Oruru. It’s just that we’ve been living as bandits for so long. I mean, just look how good we’ve gotten at breaking and entering…”

“Come on, you call us bandits, but all we’ve been doing is stealing food in the dead of night. And no one knows who we are, so we’ll be fine. We’ll just keep doing this until we save our sisters, and then we can find a nice, peaceful forest, gather our scattered friends, and rebuild our village.”

“Right. We’ve been searching for so long, and we’ve finally found a clue as to their whereabouts. We must succeed!”

“Yes, we’ve got reliable info that the slavers who abducted our sisters are connected to Faulks Co. by way of Morgan Trading. There’s a good chance our sisters have been sold.”

“I’ve heard the lord of this manor takes in girls with debts or no place to go and then employs them as his maids. He probably makes them do all sorts of unseemly things.”

“Tch, what a disgusting abuse of power…!”

These elves sure seem riled up over hearsay.

“Anyway, what kind of room is this? It’s shockingly clean…”

“Well, judging by all the tools, I’d say it’s a kitchen.”

“Dang it. How do we always manage to break in to the food storage part of the house…?”

“W-well, whatever. As long as we make it inside, we don’t need to sweat the details.”

“Whoa, look at this flour. Typical rich people—they’ve always got the best ingredients.”

“Wow, you’re right. You could bake some quality bread with this stuff…”

“Don’t get distracted, you two. Let’s keep going.”

At her urging, the other two reluctantly walk away from the bag of flour.

“First, I’m going to check on the hallway. When I give the signal, follow me.”

As the one called Oruru checks the hallway, she notices that something new has captured the attention of the other two.

They stand there, mouths agape, staring up at the window.

“Oh, for—I told you two to get it together.”

“Oruru, Oruru…!”

“Ah! Ah! Ahhh…!”

What has them so spooked? She follows their gaze until she sees it.

Looking down on the three elves are six glittering eyes.

“Wh-what the…?!”

Its size far surpasses that of the girls, and it gives off an intensely intimidating aura.

Why would a monster be here? Does the owner just let monsters have the run of the house?

These sorts of thoughts race through the minds of the girls, but they’re too scared to speak.

They’re elves. They grew up in the forest, they’ve come face-to-face with demons, and they’re more than skilled at determining an opponent’s strength. But even going back through everything they’ve faced, they’ve never encountered anything like this.

Their sixth sense is screaming at them.

Here’s where we get eaten and die, they think.

“Ee—eeeek……”

The beast’s giant, jagged, drooling maw opens wide, and—

“““WoofMrowSqueak!”””

The creature lets out a strange cry, causing the three elves’ faces to contort in silent screams before they faint on the spot.

“Arwf…? (Huh? Did we just manage to subdue the bandits without lifting a paw?)”

We peeked through the window after hearing the voices, but the three girls fainted without us having to do anything.

I leave the window and head into the kitchen.

“Arwf, arwf. (These three girls don’t really seem cut out to be bandits.)”

They’re not quite what I’d imagined.

Because they went as far as sending an advance warning, I was expecting someone more like a cool middle-aged master thief kind of person.

And while they are definitely wearing lightweight clothes reminiscent of thief gear, these three are young ladies.

Judging by their long ears and silver hair, is it possible they are elves?

They remind me of a certain witch. And given that she and they have the same distinctive facial features, it’s highly possible they’re of the same race.

“Squeak. (Careful, darling, you’re drooling.)”

“Arwf. (Oh, my bad.)”

I started drooling because of the delicious smells wafting out of the kitchen. It wasn’t because I saw these girls and thought they looked tasty. Of course not.

“Mrow. (So what should we do? We can’t just leave them here.)”

“Arwf, arwf. (We’re out of options. Guess we’ll have to get Zenobia.)”

And speak of the devil—Zenobia is standing right there at the door.

“You were late to the meeting point, so I came to check on you, and w-were you about to eat them…?!”

“Bark, bark?! (You’re way off! How do you see this and jump to that conclusion?! These girls just fainted!)”

“I’m kidding. No doubt they saw you and were so surprised they fainted, right?”

Thank God she understood. My heart can’t handle that kind of joke.

And excuse me? Why would anyone faint after seeing a cute pet like me? How rude. Harrumph.

“Anyone worth their salt is going to take one look at you and know exactly how much of a monster you are. Hmm, are they elves? I suppose you couldn’t have done anything against their acute senses. But still, I’ve never heard of elf bandits before.”

I knew something was off. Elves don’t really strike me as the bandit type.

“We’ll have to inform the master, and he’ll decide what to do with them. I’ll restrain them, so you go and fetch him.”

“Arwf, arwf. (All right, all right.)”

It doesn’t really feel like snack time anymore, but maybe he’ll give me a treat.

I head up to the second floor and softly bark outside Papa’s room.

“Arwf, arwf. Arwf, arwf. (Papa, get up. We caught the burglars.)”

“What is it, Routa? You haven’t caught those thieves already, have you?”

Papa slips a gown over his pajamas and peeks out the door.

“Arwf, arwf. (I did indeed. Well, we say ‘caught,’ but they kind of just fainted all on their own.)”

“I don’t see Zenobia with you—is she watching over the thieves? And did she send you to get me?”

“Arwf, arwf. (As sharp as always.)”

“Well then, I’m on my way. But I’ll need you to guide me, Routa.”

“Arwf, arwf. (Just leave it to me.)”

I lead him downstairs to the great hall, where Zenobia has the three elf burglars tied up together.

“These girls look young enough to still be called children. Are you sure they’re the ones who sent the letter?”

They’re elves, so they probably don’t look their age, but they also really don’t look like they’d be in some dangerous line of work like robbery.

“U-ughh……”

The taller elf is coming to.

Her unfocused eyes pass over the room before suddenly locking on Papa.

“Y-you! Are you Lord Faulks?!”

“Ah, exactly right. And you would be the thieves who sent the letter, I presume?”

“Tch, you’re more corrupt than I’d imagined, keeping a beast like that in your mansion…”

“Beast? Do you mean Routa here? Our family dog…?”

Papa glances over at where I’m sitting next to him.

“Well, I suppose he has been getting a bit large lately. Have you been eating a little too much, Routa?”

H-have I? Maybe it’s your imagination? I guess I should probably go on a diet.

“I don’t think his food intake is the problem…”

Zenobia groans before brandishing her sword and pointing it at the girl.

“Eek…?!”

“It’s fine to be confident, but don’t go thinking you’ll get away with breaking in to our house and attempting to rob us.”

Whoa, scary.

After being targeted by the sudden bloodlust, the other two girls begin to stir.

“Ahhh, awawahh…”

“Shoot, we’ve been caught…”

Unlike the other two, who are coming to terms with the situation, the taller girl the sword is pointing at continues to glare at Papa.

“Damn you, Faulks, you corrupt noble! Return my sisters!”

What sisters? And “corrupt noble” couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Well now, I fear there may be some sort of misunderstanding. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about why you’re here?”

Typical Papa. Even when facing thieves who tried to rob him, he’s calmly assessing the situation.

“……Very well.”

She tells us the whole story of how she and the others came to find themselves in this situation.

They were living in a peaceful village in the woods when they were suddenly attacked by a gang of humans.

Out on the frontier, beyond the oversight of the kingdom, such slave raids occur, though infrequently.

Most of the elves were able to abandon the village and escape, but there were still several who were unable to flee and were captured.

Their gang of three was originally a group of five, but their two eldest sisters, who saved them and helped them escape, were captured in their stead.

In fleeing from the humans, the villagers were scattered, and the three girls pooled their skills to survive.

Now they pretend to be bandits and live day by day, stealing from scoundrels and continuing to search for their captured sisters.

“Uuunh, you’ve had it so hard…!”

Zenobia is bawling in sympathy.

I don’t get to see you cry that often, Zenobia. I wanna lick you.

“And so you heard a rumor that your sisters are here.”

Based on the information that their sisters had been sold to the Faulks family, they had come here to rescue them.

According to the rumors, Papa used his money to gather the finest girls as his slaves and indulged in a sumptuous feast every night.

When they heard in the Royal Capital that the Faulkses had had contact with the slavers, they thought for sure that their sisters had been bought and pursued them to the mansion.

“Arwf… (Papa…)”

“Hmm. So that’s the sort of rumor that’s been spreading, is it…?”

Papa’s shoulders slump dejectedly.

“It’s utter nonsense.”

Miranda consoles Papa as she appears, carrying a lantern.

She’s wearing a cape over her night wear and cuts a much different figure from when she’s wearing her normal maid outfit.

“Certainly there are those among us from less-than-pleasant backgrounds, but we were all saved by Master Faulks. We are all thankful toward him, and not one of us bears a grudge. We work here in the mansion as maids of our own free will. We are all officially hired through the company and receive proper wages. Whatever you’ve been imagining is completely false.”

“Wh-what are you…?!”

Oh, thank goodness. It’s all bogus.

For just a moment there, I was envious—ahem—suspicious of Papa.

“So you’re saying that our sisters aren’t here after all…?!”

“Aw, man, but it took so long to get here…”

“Where could they be…?”

The three of them start crying, and we don’t know what to do.

“It is true that I was introduced to slavers during our stay in the Royal Capital. But I’m strongly opposed to slavery. I don’t even think we should allow debt servitude or penal servitude anymore. I did think it strange that I was introduced to such people, but perhaps it was simply to sully my reputation…”

“D-did you see any elves?!”

“No, I left the meeting location as soon as possible and couldn’t tell you who was in there. I’m sorry…”

“I see…”

The girls look so dejected, and I can’t think of anything to say to them.

“Well, at least the misunderstanding has been cleared up. Zenobia, untie these ladies.”

“Are you sure?”

Zenobia sniffles as she responds.

The girls in question look dubious about being released.

“Y-you’re letting us go…?”

“Well, I’m fairly confident that you’re not going to take anything now. And seeing as there haven’t been any crimes reported in the area, I can’t think of any reason—as the marquis—to arrest you, either. After listening to your story, I’ll also use my company’s resources to aid in the search for your relatives. Hunting people is a violation of this country’s constitution. It might take some time, but it will no doubt be better than searching haphazardly.”

“Why would you go so far as to help us…? You know nothing about us, and we’re just burglars, of a different race, no less…”

“If I abandoned someone in need, I’d never be able to look my daughter in the eye. I want my daughter to be proud of her father. That’s all that matters to me.”

He’s the embodiment of compassion and human kindness. Man, what a guy. Papa, you’re the coolest.

“And if you’re having troubles and you’d like, I could see about getting you some work through my company.”

“Thank you…but we’ll continue searching for our sisters on our own. Could you tell us about that group of slavers? I think we’ll restart our search there.”

“We just want to help them as soon as possible, you know?”

“Yeah, what they said.”

The three girls seem pretty set in their decision.

“Arwf… (I wish there was more we could do…)”

There didn’t seem to be anything I, a pet, could do to help, but I still didn’t feel right sending them off like this.

“I really did only meet with the slaver for a brief moment. The only thing I can say about the man is that it was impressive how little of an impression he left… I’m sorry I can’t be of more assistance. At the very least, please allow me to cover your travel expenses. Miranda.”

“Yes, Master Faulks. I assumed you would offer, so I brought this.”

Miranda walks back into the room carrying a leather pouch on a silver tray.

“Y-you really don’t need to go that far!”

“Please, accept it. Otherwise, I’ll worry about what might befall you on your journey. And I can’t have you stealing anything in my domain, now, can I?”

Papa laughs that last bit off as a joke, but it’s really not a laughing matter.

“Thank you. We’ll definitely repay this kindness.”

The tallest elf girl accepts the leather pouch before apparently being hit with a thought.

“Oh, right, this is a tool the people who attacked our village used. Maybe it’s a clue that can help us track down our sisters?”

From her pack she pulls out a collar adorned with a round stone.

“Arwf? (Huh? Haven’t I seen some of those before?)”

But where was it?

“Squeak… (Wasn’t it in the capital with that showy girl? You know, the noisy, uppity one…)”

Ah yes, that Goldilocks with the twin drills, Lady Elizabeth.

Len was right; the monsters Drillizabeth had each wore one of those around its neck. And they all were imbued with brainwashing magic.

When she was showing off her collection of pets, the spell snapped, and they all went berserk.

After that, Drills befriended Lady Mary and became a considerably dedicated pen pal, but I’m almost positive this is the same collar.

“Hmm. No, I don’t recognize that. But it might be useful as a lead. Do you mind if I borrow it?”

“Not at all—please do… I always thought of humans as nothing more than vicious creatures, but you’ve shown me that there are kind ones as well. I apologize for the late introduction. My name is Oruru.”

“I’m Eruru. Thank you for everything.”

“And I’m Ururu! Thank you!”

The three girls decline Papa’s offer to stay the rest of the night and depart in the morning, and instead they say their good-byes and leave the mansion.

I break off from Papa and the others, who are sadly watching them go, and slip out the back door into the night.

“We’re in midtown, somewhat close to downtown. I wouldn’t say it’s dangerous, but it’s also not a place I recommend walking around by yourself.”

Was it really all right to bring the girls here, then?

“But you’re here with us, Routa. You’ll protect us, right? We’re counting on you.”

“Arwf, arwf. (Ha-ha-ha, that’s enough of that.)”

No, seriously, please don’t count on me. I’m just a house dog, not a guard dog.

Zenobia’s more suited to violence, so if some punks try to make trouble, it’s up to her. A pet like me is just going to turn tail and hide.

We continue walking down a street lit solely by streetlamps for a few minutes.

“Arwf, arwf. (Something smells good.)”

With every step we take, the street is getting brighter, and more and more people can be seen walking about.

Steam carrying the scent of food wafts through the night air, mixing with the sounds of revelry and swishing alcohol.

“Are these all bars?”

“A lot of them are. This area is quite popular at night.”

Based on the seductive ladies waving down the male pedestrians, some of these shops are of the more seedy variety.

But the witch standing next to me is definitely a class above them when it comes to being sexy.

“Whoa, look at that beauty!”

“And what about that monster next to her?! It’s wearing a collar! Is that her familiar…?!”

“A mage, a swordswoman, and three rogues? That’s an unusual group for an adventurers’ party. Looks like they’re going to Bordolf’s place. Hope they don’t come in here.”

It’s no surprise that our little group is beginning to draw attention, and it seems people are whispering about us.

“This is the place. Shall we go in?”

Hecate stops in front of one of the bars.

“Arwf, arwf? (Are you sure they’ll let me in?)”

I’m an animal, after all, and usually shopkeepers kick us animals out for hygienic reasons.

Though with my daily baths, I’m probably cleaner than most of the guys around here.

“It’ll be fine. I know the owner.”

And with that, Hecate pushes through the swinging doors and into the bar.

“Arwf, arwf? (What should we do?)”

“Squeak. (If Lady Witch says it will be fine, then it will be fine.)”

“Mrow. (More importantly, I’m starving.)”

Now that she mentions it, I am, too. Thanks to those three elf girls huddled behind us, I missed my midnight snack.

And the delicious smell of grilled meat emanating from the pub has made my mouth start watering again.

Right, I’m going in. And if I surprise or scare anyone, I’ll deal with it then—by stealing meat from one of the tables and making a break for it!

“Arwf… (Howdy…)”

It certainly seems like a popular place. A number of round tables are scattered throughout the large room, and everyone seems to be drinking and having a great time.

There’s also a fair number of staff. Waitresses are scurrying among the customers, delivering food and drinks. Everyone’s smiling. It looks like a nice pub.

“Arwf. (Now, where’d Hecate……? Ah, there she is.)”

Hecate struck up a conversation with the muscled middle-aged bartender as we were fussing about outside.

He must be the owner of this place. He has white combed-back hair and an eye patch, kind of like a pirate. And with his muscles and stern expression, this hulking middle-aged guy looks completely different from old man James back home.

“I never thought I’d see you again during my lifetime.”

“While it’s always fun to talk about your apprentice bartending days, I’m here on other business today. Mind if I take some seats upstairs?”

“Enough of that. Don’t go bringing up the embarrassments of my youth. We’ve got a reservation for up there tonight, but if you’re fine with sitting near them, go ahead.”

“Thank you. How about I come by with Emerada next time and the three of us share a drink?”

“…Give me a break. You’re just going to drink the place dry… Who’s that? Is that group by the door with you?”

The white-haired bartender looks past Hecate and over to me just as I enter.

“Yes, they’re friends of mine. Very dear friends.”

“You’re always dragging around some strange folk… So long as it doesn’t have any diseases or fleas… What is it? A wolf? A monster? Something like that?”

“Woof, woof. (I’m a dog, thank you very much.)”

Just look at how nicely groomed I am. And I have a master, and a lady, and maids.

“…Well, if it’s with you, then I don’t have any complaints. You go along and wait upstairs and I’ll bring something up for you.”

And with that dismissal, the eye-patched bartender heads back into the kitchen to relay the food order.

As instructed, we head up the stairs to the loft seating on the second floor.

The first floor is packed, but up here it’s almost like we’re alone. Kind of feels like a VIP seating area. Bwa-ha-ha, look at us. So much better than the drunks.

Hecate is draped over one of the chairs at a table. I sit next to her, and then the three sisters perch tensely on their chairs. Zenobia does a quick sweep around the room before finally sitting on Hecate’s right.

“Arwf, arwf? (Hey, Zenobia, what’s with that look? Were you really that put out by not being able to lead us?)”

“Keep it down. Don’t raise your voice in here…!”

Zenobia is slumped in her seat, as though trying to avoid being seen from the first floor.

Maybe there’s someone here she doesn’t want to meet. Based on all the weapons, there seem to be a lot of adventurer types here.

Actually, she did something similar last time we came to the Royal Capital, hiding behind me when we were outside the guild headquarters… Seems like there might be a troubled past there.

“Wh-why are you looking at me like that…? I’m not hiding from anyone. I left the Adventurers Guild in good standing.”

And yet you’re still trying that hard to hide.

I narrow my eyes as Zenobia turns away.

Hecate watches the exchange with amusement.

And while this is going on, the food arrives.

“Arwf, arwf! (Woohoo! This looks delicious!)”

It isn’t the fancy cuisine of the manor, but instead an overflowing assortment of hearty, high-calorie dishes.

Little fried shrimp still popping from the fryer.

Garlic toast topped with salted pork fat.

A juicy, leafy salad decorated with crispy fried bacon.

Juicy, tender skewers of what seems to be teriyaki chicken.

The look, the sound, the smell—everything here is to die for.

I’m overcome by appetite, and a great tummy rumble rings out.

“Arwf?! (Wait, huh, that wasn’t me?!)”

“““………………”””

The three elves try to hide their blushing faces.

“Well then, why don’t we all dig in? Those who believe in the gods can say their own prayers.”

Seems like Hecate isn’t the praying type, since she’s already serving herself some of the bacon salad.

“Arwf! Arwf! (Me too! Me too!)”

“Of course—here you go.”

“Arwf! (Thanks!)”

I dig into the salad that Hecate hands me.

The texture of the leafy greens and crunchy bacon is unbelievable. The salt of the bacon and the dressing is absorbed by the greens and doubles their flavor.

“Arwf, arwf!! (So goooood!!)”

It’s a walk in the park to make simple bar food, so why does it taste so good?

“And it goes great with beer.”

Hey now, we’re here to save the elves’ sisters. Do you think this is the right time for drinking? How disgraceful. I’ll have some, too.

“Ruff!! (This beer is so light and refreshing!!)”

I don’t know if it’s unfiltered or just cloudy, but it’s smooth and washes away the lingering oil in my mouth. This must be why Hecate recommended the place. What a great bar.

“““Gulp…”””

Watching us eat must have pushed the three girls to the limit, because they quickly clasp their hands and rattle off a prayer before falling on the food like savage beasts.

Looks like they haven’t been getting enough to eat. They’re shoveling it down like they’ve missed a few meals.

“Slow down. You’ll choke.”

Zenobia, who had been the first to start praying and the last to finish, offers Ururu some water as she pounds her chest and groans.

Zenobia may be a meathead, but she’s got impeccable manners. She eats in the same polished manner as Lady Mary: using a fork and knife and taking small bites.

“It’s been a while, but the flavor hasn’t changed. It’s certainly delicious.”

After eating the toast with the dribbling pork fat, Hecate licks the crumbs off her fingers in a display of poor table manners. It may be rude, but it’s also sexy as hell.

“Mewf! (This chicken is delicious! The sauce is sweet and spicy, and the flesh is so tender!)”

“Squeak, squeak! (And this shrimp! It’s so crispy!)”

Nahura and Len seem satisfied. But make sure you don’t drop any on my back, okay? Once it gets into my fur it’s a nightmare to get out.

“It’s delicious—so delicious.”

“How long has it been since we’ve had a proper meal?”

“I wonder if our sisters are getting enough food?”

The three girls are still gulping down the food, with Zenobia stepping in to help if they start choking.

“Slow down and chew. No one’s going to take it from you. You want to save your sisters, don’t you? Well then, first you have to be healthy.”

Zenobia warns the three of them while rubbing their backs.

Oh, look at Zenobia acting all motherly. What a gentle gorilla.

If she ever finds out I call her Gorillanobia, she’ll do whatever it takes to end me, so let’s keep that our little secret.

“E-excuse me!” splutters the shortest elf with the glasses—errrr, Eruru, was it? And her voice sounds like she’s moments from bolting.

“Why are you being so nice to us?! You only met us today, and we tried to rob you!”

“Arwf? (Tch. Do we need a reason to help someone?)”

“Mew. (When you talk with your mouth full of food like that, we can’t understand anything that you’re saying.)”

“Squee? (Besides, darling, didn’t you try to leave this to someone else so that you could head home?)”

So mean. I was just trying to look cool.

The three girls pretend I didn’t say anything and stare at Zenobia.

“Just like the marquis before: You’re not simply forgiving us but even going as far as to help us to search for our sisters.”

“There’s really no reason for you to do all this for us, and it’s got us on edge!”

These elves, whose village was attacked and sisters were kidnapped, have never experienced kindness from humans. So it seems the gentle demeanor of the people at the manor has them especially uneasy.

Zenobia looks straight at them and answers their doubts.

“I, too, was saved by the Faulks family.”

Zenobia has said she was an adventurer before going full freeloader.

“When I became disillusioned with the adventurer life and was lost and adrift, they did not hesitate to take me in. I had lost faith and trust in everyone, and they rescued me.”

When we first met and she treated me as an enemy, she was just trying to protect those in the mansion. I know how much Zenobia cares about everyone.

“And in turn, my lord would say that he has been rescued. People are all connected to one another. Whether helping or being helped, those in the Faulks family are all connected in some way.”

I see. The reason the mansion is so warm and inviting is that everyone there cares for one another. It feels so natural living there that I didn’t realize it.

“What I’m doing is simply an imitation of what the people of the Faulks family did for me. So please don’t feel any obligation toward me. I’m doing this because I wish to. And that’s my only reason for helping you.”

Zenobia’s still being so cool today…!

She’s gotta have a fever or something, right? I’m really getting worried.

Without the gorilla grunts and chest pounding, she’s just not Zenobia.

“M-miss…”

“Wow…”

“You’re so cool!”

The three girls stare at Zenobia with flushed cheeks.

Hold up, now. I basically said the same thing, so what’s with this huge difference in reception?

“Probably in the delivery, I’d say.”

Urgh. Hecate delivers the finishing blow.

“So anyway, yeah. Keep eating. After that, we’ll be off to save your sisters. Lady Hecate is a peerless sage, and I’m sure you remember my abilities… And that wannabe dog has his uses as well.”

Oh, Zenobia seems a little embarrassed.

But what she said contained one little mistake. She made me out to be a stand-up guy, when I’d be happier lying down.

Don’t make the therapy dog do any real work!

We’ve finished our meal and are relaxing with some tea when Hecate looks toward the stairs.

“Well then, it should be about time…”

Immediately after Hecate murmurs, I hear faint footsteps coming up the stairs.

Must be another customer. Upon reaching the second floor, they head quickly to their table without giving us a glance.

This must be the customer with the reservation the owner mentioned earlier.

This loft seating must be reservation only, because aside from us, this is the only customer.

“……………”

Their hood is pulled low over their face, but they seem rather short and quite slender.

Maybe a woman? No, but this isn’t the sort of place for a woman to come to alone this late at night.

“Hmph… It appears they have yet to arrive. And yet they were the ones to invite me. Clearly they don’t have the proper courtesy a merchant should possess.”

Taking a seat, they lower their hood.

Amazing curls of blond hair spill out.

“Arwf?! (Wait, Drills?!)”

What is the loudmouthed, monster-loving Lady Drillizabeth doing here?

“Right on time.”

Right on time? How did Hecate know Drills was gonna be here?

I look at her with a doubtful expression, but Hecate just sits there swirling her wineglass and smiling.

“Squeak. (Hmph, Lady Witch certainly is mysterious.)”

“Mew. (My mistress’s attitude is just for appearances. She puts on an act, but inside she’s not actually planning anything evil—ngah!)”

I wonder if Nahura’s been stricken with an illness that makes her say stupid things that might get her killed.

“Mewl! (Mistress, forgive me! Forgive me!)”

I say a quick prayer for Nahura, who’s under the table getting stepped on.

“Excuse me, you there, please quiet down. I’m here for an important meeting…”

Drills, who has turned to scold our group, suddenly freezes.

“A-are you—are you that lovely dog I met before?”

“Arwf, arwf. (Indeed. I am that lovely dog.)”

Only Drills would say such a thing. And I like it. I still won’t be your pet, though. But I hope you maintain that obliviousness.

“Wh-what are you doing here? Is Mary with you?”

She’s definitely not here. Though she probably would’ve been thrilled to come along.

We’re planning to save the sisters of these elves behind me, and I couldn’t bring myself to lead her into danger.

But on that note, what’s Drills doing alone in a place like this? I wouldn’t exactly call this area “safe.”

If she’d brought her dragon, Christina, as a bodyguard, I think that would’ve been suitable protection, but it doesn’t seem Christina is with her today.

But then again, if she had brought Christina, it would’ve caused a huge commotion at the bar. Even if she paid off the guards to keep them quiet, there’s no way she would’ve been able to quell the uproar of the townsfolk.

“You’re Mary’s family doctor, correct? And you’re the knight I remember seeing when we saw Mary off. But you three are unfamiliar to me…”

She approaches our table without hesitation—every bit the daughter of a skilled merchant—and strikes up a conversation.

“Why are you here? It doesn’t seem like you’re on another vacation.”

“Indeed. I’d like to explain, but I think you have something to discuss with them first?”

We turn to look in the direction Hecate is pointing just as a few men begin climbing the stairs.

“Ah! We’ll speak later. I must speak with these gentlemen first.”

Drills adopts a serious expression and returns to her seat.

Hecate gives a slight gesture with her outstretched finger just as Drills turns to walk away.

She appears to write a few characters in the air, and while I can’t understand what it might mean, it surprises Drills.

“Arwf, arwf? (What did you just do, Hecate?)”

“Hee-hee, you’ll see.”

Hecate is especially sexy when she’s being coy.

While this is going on, the men reach the top of the stairs.

At the forefront is a small man wearing a silk hat and a gentleman’s suit. He slaps on a greasy grin and heads over to where Drills is sitting.

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry to keep you waiting. And it looks like you came alone, as promised.”

Hmm? Alone? We’re sitting right here.

“Squee. (It’s invisibility magic. Just as the blond child sat down, Lady Witch erased our table’s presence.)”

I guess that gesture with her finger just now was for a magic spell.

Drills probably looked surprised because we suddenly disappeared, but she sure caught on quickly.

Tch, clearly Drills has a better head on her shoulders than I do. And here I thought we were birds of a feather.

Five burly guys stand behind the man in the silk hat. They’re all wearing matching long-sleeved coats. They must be burning up.

They don’t take a seat, but instead assume a protective formation, standing in a half circle around the table. Looks like these guys can’t see us, either.

“What are they going to do to her…?!”

“Shh, wait. Just watch.”

Zenobia must realize there’s a spell between us and them, as she silences the sisters and observes Drills.

“You seem to be better off than the last time we met.”

“Well, of course, that’s because of your patronage, my lady.”

Wow. The way he’s rubbing his hands together is super sketchy. Mix that with his smirking face, and his sliminess just doubled.

I don’t think I’d ever buy anything from him. He doesn’t seem cut out to be a salesman.

“Well then, should we order some drinks? And perhaps some food to go along with them? This may be a dingy bar, but the food here isn’t half-bad.”

“I’m fine, thanks. Why don’t we just get down to brass tacks?”

The merchant slaps his palm in an exaggerated manner in response to Drills’s curt refusal.

“Then let’s get to it. For you, my lady, this time we’ve successfully procured a large number of rare animals. We thought that before we sold them to the market as pets, we would let you have the pick of the litter, so to speak.”

By “rare animals” he means monsters, I’m sure.

Of the animals Drills used to keep in her house, every one is a monster. Now they all live in the forest protected by the Fen Wolves, but none of them should’ve been kept as pets in the first place.

I guess Drills never quite learned her lesson and still sees those monsters as regular animals.

Barring exceptions like Christina, I imagine it’s difficult for monsters to form attachments with people. And relying on those enchanted collars is just going to result in another stampede when the spell wears off.

Drills’s parents aren’t very close to her, and the neglect fed into her loneliness. She started buying all those “pets” to fill the void.

But I kinda thought we resolved that issue last time.

Now she’s got Lady Mary as a friend, and I was almost certain her bond with Christina had changed after all the other monsters ran away.

But it looks like even my lady and Christina aren’t enough to heal Drills’s loneliness.

And if that’s the case, that’s pretty tragic.

“If you’d like, I could take you to see them right after we finish here?”

“No, there’s no need.”

Drills’s response doesn’t match my expectation.

She shuts down this discussion about pets and tosses a leather sack on the table in front of the merchant.

“This is double the amount of our prior arrangement. I’d like you to take all the animals back to where you found them and release them.”

“Release them…? What caused you to change your mind?”

The merchant isn’t looking at the sack of money but instead at Drills with an inquisitive expression.

“I’ve come to realize that my actions were a mistake. I realized that I shouldn’t run from my loneliness, but rather confront my issues with my father and mother directly.”

Even though she shouldn’t be able to see us, Drills shoots a glance in my direction.

“Some very dear friends taught me that. And there’s no solace to be found in keeping animals locked away in cages.”

My little Drillizabeth is all grown up. There’s no trace of the girl who did whatever she pleased, laughing and not caring about the trouble she caused those around her.

“Oh? And I don’t suppose that in addition to confronting Mommy and Daddy dearest, you’ll be bringing up our little arrangement?”

The merchant sneers at Drills’s attempt to end their business relationship.

“Surely you’ve picked up on the fact that I’m not the most honest of merchants. And don’t you think that if it became public knowledge that Daddy’s little girl had done business with such a shady character, it might negatively impact Daddy’s company?”

“…Are you threatening me?”

I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Drills is trying to put on a brave face, but I can tell she’s becoming overwhelmed.

“No, no, of course that wasn’t a threat. I completely understand what you’re thinking, and I think you’ve made a wise decision… By the way, what happened to those pets you bought before?”

“Well, they……they all ran away.”

“Oh, they ran away, did they? I’d think if something like that happened, it’d be the talk of the town. But I haven’t heard anything like that.”

Yeah, that’s because Nahura teleported all of them to the forest. I guess from Drills’s point of view it must have looked like they vanished in an instant.

“Are you accusing me of lying?”

“Hmm, that you don’t appear to be lying has me all the more confused.”

The merchant strokes his chin and frowns.

“Well, to be honest, I didn’t expect you to still be alive after being attacked by the monsters.”

“What?”

If we hadn’t been there back then, those monsters would’ve been all over Drills. Even with Christina jumping in to protect her, they probably still would have killed her.

But that’s not the problem here. Based on what he just said, he knew the collars were faulty from the get-go. Maybe they were designed to fail from the start.

“Our expectation was that the monsters would be driven mad and kill everyone in the house, but thanks to some sort of miracle, everyone seems to be fine.”

Bull’s-eye. I was right.

“I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to undermine the Morgan Trading Company. But instead they’ve started dealing with that damned Faulks Co., which is the last thing we want.”

“Wh-what are—what on earth are you saying?!”

“Now I’ve got to clean up this whole mess. The original plan was to lead you to some remote location and kill you, but based on how things are going, you probably wouldn’t come quietly, would you?”

The merchant puts his silk hat back on as he steps back, and the bodyguards move to block Drills from escaping.

“It may be a bit conspicuous, but we’ll just have to do you in right here.”

At that signal, one of the men begins to move his arm. From the sleeves of his coat he draws a long, curved knife.

He swings the sharp, glittering blade down with the intent to slash Drills’s face.

“Arwf. (Yeah, I’ve seen enough.)”

I put myself right in the path of the knife. It strikes my back and then snaps pathetically.

I’ve been hit by Zenobia’s best strikes over and over. Some amateur attack like this isn’t scary at all.

“……Arwf. (……No, wait, that was a lie. I definitely peed a little.)”

Even if I know it’s not going to hurt, scary things are still scary! Acknowledge the courage it took to make that leap!

“What the—?! Where did this monster come from?!”

“I don’t remember selling something like this?!”

And I don’t remember being sold by someone like you. I was sold by a legitimate pet shop, which makes me a pedigreed pet!

The man whose blade broke stands there looking like he can’t believe what just happened. From his perspective, it probably looks like I appeared out of nowhere. But the truth is, I’ve been right under their noses the whole time.

“K-kill them both!” the merchant shrieks. But not a single one of the men responds to the order.

“Nice job stopping him, Routa.”

As Zenobia speaks, the bodyguards slump to the floor.

While my jumping to Drills’s defense drew their attention, Zenobia took care of them. We make quite the team, don’t we?

All Zenobia had to do was whisper, “Sic ’em,” and I leaped into action. That’s terrifying. What if I’d messed up? Stop putting your confidence in me, please.

“Now, my lord did ask me to avoid killing anyone. Which is the only reason I used the flat of my blade on scum like you.”

The flat of her blade? I’m pretty sure she just smacked them with her bare hands. I guess that as a knight, she thinks of everything in sword terms. Looks like our family’s problem child is more meathead than gorilla.

“Trash like you isn’t even worthy of my blade. Do yourselves a favor and stay down. I wouldn’t want to sully my sword with your filthy weakling blood.”

But you’re fine with trying out new swords on me, huh? I don’t think “people you’re willing to cut” is a group I need to be in.

“Tch, what a useless bunch of…!”

The merchant tries to slink off, only to find his path blocked by the three sisters.

“Don’t try to run away!”

“You’re going to tell us where our sisters are.”

“Shall we torture him?”

He knew about the collars, so there’s no doubt he’s involved.

Torture or not, these guys did just attempt to murder someone, so we’ll have to hand them over to the guards. Although I’m sure there’s a lot we can talk about before that happens.

“You, youuuu…!”

Whoops, forgot about Drills. Looks like she fell into shock after almost being killed.

Here’s a special freebie. My fur is perfect for calming down.

It’s just a matter of time before the merchant is taken into custody. Zenobia’s guarding the front, and the three girls have the rear. And the bodyguards are all unconscious, so he doesn’t have any support. And we’ve got plenty of witnesses to the crime.

Everything is under control.

That said, it doesn’t seem like the merchant is ready to give up yet. He keeps scowling at us.

“Hey, you guys! What the hell are you doing in my bar?! If you’re going to fight, do it somewhere else! Outside!”

The owner heard the disturbance and stomps up the stairs.

We’re somewhat busy at the moment, so please don’t come up.

“Tch!”

Just as I hear the merchant click his tongue, the sound of the window shattering rings out. He took the moment’s chance and leaped through it.

“Arwf?! (Did he just jump?!)”

Suicide by jumping is never a good idea, because you might fall on someone below you. I did a fair bit of research on the subject back when I was stuck working for my dead-end company, so I’m rather well-informed.

Wait, this isn’t the time to be thinking about depressing crap like that.

I rush to the window and look below.

“Arwf! (Whoa, no way!)”

The merchant jumped from the window, kicked off the wall of the neighboring building to get to the roof, and is now escaping across the rooftops.

Those aren’t the movements of a short, fat guy.

“Arwf? (What is he, some kind of ninja?)”

“With those moves, he’s obviously not an ordinary merchant…! But even with that leg strength he won’t be able to escape me!”

Zenobia climbs up onto the window frame and leaps into the night.

With one bound, she’s on the roof of the next building and off after her merchant prey.

“Bark?! (Huh, wait, should I go, too?!)”

I’m worried about letting Zenobia go off on her own. She really has zero sense of direction.

“Hold on, there, Routa.”

As my forepaws are on the windowsill and I’m puzzling about whether to go or not, Hecate calls out to stop me.

“Arwf? (Shouldn’t I go after them?)”

“They’ll be fine. Let’s let him escape rather than catch him.”

Hecate seems to have an idea. She was gracefully sipping her wine throughout the entire ruckus.

“Damn it, I told you there was going to be trouble.” The owner shows up with a sour expression.

“You didn’t say anything about that.”

“Didn’t I? Oh well, I’ll be adding the cost of replacing the window to your tab.”

Hecate pouts, and the owner gives a bitter laugh as he begins to clean up. He doesn’t seem very interested in what just occurred.

“Oh, don’t touch the glass, ladies. I’ll take care of it.”

Rather than worrying about the glass, shouldn’t we be worrying about what to do with these unconscious guys? Shouldn’t we tie them up or something?

I guess it was Zenobia’s crazy strength that knocked them out, so they probably won’t be waking anytime soon.

And is this some kind of everyday occurrence? The people on the first floor don’t seem worried at all.

They went quiet for a moment, but then the noise immediately picked back up.

“Will you add their charges to my tab, please?”

Drills has regained her composure and addresses the owner.

After he acknowledges her with a shrug, she moves over and takes a seat facing Hecate.

“Allow me to introduce myself. I am Elizabeth Morgan. I am most grateful to you for saving my life. I would like to thank you.”

In a complete reversal from her prior stuck-up behavior, Drills gives a deep bow.

“And I would appreciate it if you could explain some of what just happened. I seem to be somewhat involved.”

“Well if you’re offering to treat me, how can I refuse? Why don’t we walk and talk? Thank you for everything, Bordolf.”

“Sure thing. I’ve already contacted the guild, so we’re fine here. And it looks like the payment is covered.”

“Arwf! (Thanks for treating us, Drills!)”

Free food is the best food.

The owner waves to Hecate as she heads down the stairs, and we follow.

After settling the bill, we proceed outside to find the night has darkened even more, and it’s gotten a bit chilly.

“Arwf, arwf? (So Christina really didn’t come along?)”

I guess the crazy girl who rode a dragon everywhere she went really has disappeared.

“Hey, human.” The tallest elf, Oruru, calls out to Drills.

“What is it?”

“Didn’t you hear him asking about Christina?”

“Who’s Christina? A friend of yours?”

She’s a land dragon with horrible taste. And by the way, I didn’t ask you to interpret for me.

“Christina is watching the house. She never really liked walks anyway, and I’ve stopped showing her off to the townsfolk.”

Looks like Drills has seen the error of her ways and is even ashamed of her past actions.

“Wait!! Can you—?!”

Drills suddenly sidles up to the elf girls.

“Can you three understand what animals are saying?!”

“No, we can’t understand animals, but this guy isn’t an animal. He’s actually a high-ranking monster, so—”

“Woof! Woof! (Shut up, elf girl! Shush!)”

What do I do if Drills blabs to Lady Mary and she finds out I’m not a dog?! My sweet setup as a pampered pooch would be ruined!

“That’s amazing! Do you think there’s some way that I could learn to understand them?!”

“Um, well, wh-who knows? Maybe people who aren’t elves just can’t understand them…”

“Is that so…? That’s a pity. I just thought it would be fun to be able to talk with Christina…”

Trust me, you don’t want to do that. That chick likes it when you step on her, Drills, and she’d tell you about it in great detail.

“Arwf…? (Man, are all dragons perverts?)”

“Squeak. (You are the last person I want to hear that from, beloved.)”

“Mew. (You should probably look at yourself first, Routa. Maybe start with your species.)”

“Woof. (I’m a dog. Just a cute, lovable, fluffy pet dog. With cute little button eyes.)”

“S-squee! (They’re blind. Those eyes of yours are blind!)”

“Meow? (You try your absolute best to deceive even yourself, don’t you?)”

As we rehash familiar arguments, we continue to follow after Hecate.

“So I asked before, but what brings you all back to the Royal Capital? Mary and Mr. Gandolf aren’t with you, so I assume they aren’t involved with this matter?

“That would be correct.”

Hecate gives a quick rundown of the situation.

The elf girls are searching for their sisters, who were kidnapped to be sold as slaves.

And the soldiers who caught their sisters were using the same collars that Goldilocks once had on her pets.

And because of that coincidence, we came to the Royal Capital to ask Goldilocks about what she knows.

But before they could ask her, they discovered the merchant, the root of this evil, who no doubt knows the whereabouts of the elves’ sisters.

Goldilocks interjects with a few questions during the story but seems to get the gist of the situation.

“So then, isn’t it all the more important that we catch the merchant?”

“Before he ran off, I attached an anchor to him, so we can find him at any time.”

“Oh, an anchor…?”

It seems Hecate and Nahura require these anchors to target their jumps when using their teleportation magic.

They’ve also got one attached to me. Stealing my privacy. And my food.

“But I suppose it’s about time.”

Hecate waves her staff.

A shining white portal opens, and Zenobia appears.

“Bastard! You think you can escape from me?!”

Zenobia is grinding her teeth, head flicking back and forth.

That’s definitely the look of someone who got lost.

She loses sight of someone, and instantly she gets lost. Just one of those Zenobia qualities.

“What? Lady Hecate?! When did you—?!”

Looks like she didn’t even realize she’d been recalled. Just as you’d expect from a woman who’s all brawn and no brain. She never wavers.

Also, it looks like you can recall the target, not just warp to it. This teleportation magic sure is useful.

“And so what will you do, Elizabeth? If you’d like to head home, perhaps we could escort you?”

“No, I’ll be joining you. I may not have known what the collars were, but I still purchased them, and I feel some responsibility.”

What a gallant response. The Morgan Trading Company is in good hands. Now if only they could do something about that pet food that’s only good for nutrition. When food tastes bad, it ruins everything else.

“Very well, now that we’ve joined forces, shall we head off to our final destination?”

And again Hecate activates her teleportation magic, allowing us to remain in hot pursuit of the merchant.

“Haah-haah… Did I get away…?”

That chick was crazy fast. I’m a top-class spy and she still almost caught up to me.

If I hadn’t gotten lucky with them losing sight of me, I wouldn’t have been able to make it back to the hideout.

The silk hat was lost long ago, and the suit is now a mess. His hair sticks to his forehead with perspiration.

He no longer has the appearance of a rich merchant but instead looks like any other poor little man. Even the expression on his face is so generic that no one would think him the same merchant if they met him anywhere else.

“Guess that job’s a bust…”

The place he barely escaped to is a warehouse not far from the city’s harbor.

“Who’d have thought she’d have allies like that…? And to think I dismissed her as a harmless little girl…”

The assassination was a failure. The plan was to harm Marquis Faulks, who is close to the imperial family, by damaging the reputation of the Morgan Trading Company, which Faulks Co. recently took under its umbrella. But after this debacle, it won’t be easy to make another move on the marquis for a while.

Looks like there’s no option but to get out of town and lie low while waiting for the next opportunity.

He opens the door to the warehouse and slips inside.

The dim warehouse is filled with cages housing monsters caught all over the country.

Each of the monsters is wearing a collar and cowering with lifeless eyes.

“Well, that was only one of many plans to overthrow the royal family, and there’s no reason to leave any evidence behind. I can release the monsters to rampage through the city while I escape on a ship in the confusion.”

The mission may have been a total failure, but if he can cause at least a little injury, it won’t have been a complete loss.

And releasing the monsters into the city is bound to cause considerable damage.

It doesn’t matter if they don’t cause any damage at the city’s center, since most residents live on the outskirts beyond the downtown.

If an incident were to occur in the supposedly impenetrable Royal Capital, then trust in the royal family would waver.

Once they’ve been commanded by the collars to go on a rampage, the monsters should break out of their cages and terrorize the city. Good enough for a last-ditch effort.

“But before that… I have some property I need to collect.”

Slipping through the gaps, he makes his way deep into the collection of cages.

He pulls a cloth from over one of them, revealing two women lying inside.

“You two are rare commodities. You’ll be useful down the road.”

What beautiful silver-haired elves. He captured them when he raided the elf village on the edge of the kingdom. Two perfect specimens.

He could sell them for getaway money, or they could be used as catalysts for forbidden rituals or magical weaponry. Plenty of ways they can be used to assist in overthrowing the royal family. It would be such a waste to leave them here.

A few of these elves were among the group that protected the noble’s daughter he tried to assassinate. If those elves are related, they may have heard something about these two.

So rather than just dumping the elves here, he’ll have to take them with him.

“Get up.”

“…Urgh.”

In response to the man’s order, the two elves begin moving and slowly rise to their feet.

“Please……let……us……go……”

Although clearly exhausted, the elves glare at him with determined eyes.

“You really are a race with strong intellect. The magic has very little effect on you… Looks like we’ll have to increase the power of the spell.”

The orders don’t render them unconscious, but the elves’ bodies still respond to them, and they walk out of the unlocked cage.

“Hurry up. Once we get out of here, I’m releasing the monsters.”

“We will never……forgive you……”

“Shut up and come with me.”

The elves’ throats forcefully constrict, and they follow the man toward the exit.

The door is thrown wide open with a roar.

“That’s far enough, villain!”

The moment we materialize, Zenobia hears the voice of the merchant and plunges into the warehouse.

Typical meathead. Doesn’t wait for the right moment, doesn’t make a plan—just barges in without thinking.

“Arwf! (Wait, this isn’t the time for thinking. He just said he was going to make the monsters riot. We’ve got to stop him!)”

“Squeak. (Even were they to rampage, you could defeat them. It would be easy for you, darling.)”

Damn it. I’m surrounded by meatheads. I am a pet; I’d prefer a peaceful solution.

We chase after Zenobia.

“Tch, what are you doing here……?! I thought I lost you—were you just waiting to see where I went……?! Who the hell are you bastards?!”

“I don’t normally tell villains my name, but for you I’ll make an exception!”

Zenobia slides her sword from its scabbard and points it at the merchant.

“I am Zenobia Lionheart! And I am the one who will destroy you!”

“What?! Th-the Zenobia Lionheart?!”

“The SS-Rank adventurer! Slayer of One Thousand Men! Fortress Destroyer! Labyrinth Annihilator! The Blood-Soaked Knight with the Heart of a Lion! The Crimson Lionheart!”

A pile of stupid nicknames come pouring out of the merchant’s mouth. Dang, if Zenobia wouldn’t be the coolest thing to a teenage nerd.

“So Zenobia Lionheart herself has gotten involved…… That must mean the guild knows what we’re up to…… I was supposed to be the trapper, but instead I find myself caught in the trap……!”

The merchant glares bitterly at Goldilocks.

“Oh-ho-ho-ho! What a simpleminded fool!”

Look, I get you’re feeling happy we’ve won, Goldilocks, but you had no idea what was going on.

“You’re a fine actress. To have fooled someone like me for so long……”

All Zenobia did was give her name, and he seems to be working himself into a panic.

People with those stupid nicknames are amazing.

“Damn it, I guess it’s come to this……?!”

The merchant pulls out a hidden dagger, drags one of the elves in front of him, and holds it to her throat.

“Stay there! If you come any closer, I’ll slit her throat!”

“Oh my, what a naughty child.”

Hecate waves her staff in a come-hither manner.

The ground near the merchant sparkles, and a moment later the two elves are transported close to us.

“““Sisters!”””

The three girls catch their sisters.

“Ururu, Eruru, Oruru……”

“I never thought we’d see you again……”

They look frail but don’t seem to have any injuries.

They wrap their arms weakly around their crying sisters.

“What?! What did you just do?!”

Having just lost his hostages, the merchant pitches forward and yells in shock.

“It can’t have been?! Was that teleportation magic?! You can cast such advanced magic without a ritual?! Not even the court magicians can do something like that! Just who the heck……?!”

Hecate just laughs and doesn’t answer.

“Urghhh……”

A thorough display of the difference in power.

Realizing that this time he’s been cornered, the merchant drops his knife and falls to his knees.

“Give up. Time to confess all of your wrongdoings.”

Keeping careful watch, Zenobia approaches the merchant.

“…I have my pride. And I will not allow myself to be captured…”

As the merchant’s shoulders drop, he breaks something with a grunt.

He staggers to his feet.

“So you’re still going to fight?”

“This isn’t a fight…… It’s suicide.”

The merchant looks up with a dark light in his eyes, and before Zenobia can close the gap, he spits out an incantation.

The jewels on the collars around the necks of the docile monsters shatter immediately.

“Wh-what did you just do?!”

“If I’m going down, then I’m taking you bastards with me… At least I’ll have completed my mission! We’ll be overrun by hundreds of monsters! And you’ll all die with me!”

As if in response to the merchant’s broken laugh, the monsters in the cages begin to stir and emit low growls.

“E-eek?!”

Probably suffering a flashback, Drills starts freaking out.

Oh, right, this is like when we were back in her mansion.

The monsters start breaking out of their cages, fangs at the ready.

When crazed, these monsters will just attack anyone around them.

“Ha-ha-ha! Even you guys can’t immediately defeat this many monsters! How many civilians will be slaughtered before all of these creatures are defeated?!”

Looks like if the merchant’s going to lose, he’s going to lose in style.

“You—you fiend!!”

“Call me whatever you want! It’s already too late to kill me!! No one can stop this stampede!!”

Zenobia grits her teeth as the merchant crows.

“Arwf… (Ummm…)”

Sorry about this, you two.

I know I shouldn’t ruin the scene, but we can handle this.

“Mew. (Looks like it’s your time to shine, Routa.)”

“Squee. (The man’s a fool. Something like this is meaningless for my darling.)”

“Arwf… (Gimme a break…)”

I step in front of the bloodshot eyes of the monsters and draw in a deep breath.

And as the monsters leap as one toward me, I pour all that air into one big howl.

“Hoooooooowwwwwwwwl!! (All! Of! You! Siiiit!!)”

My howl rings through the warehouse and drowns out the bellowing of the monsters and the crazed laugh of the merchant.

It is suddenly quiet enough to hear the walls falling apart, and all the monsters begin to grovel.

Each and every one of them is showing submission, trembling with their tails tucked between their legs.

“Arwf. (Yes, that’s a good beastie.)”

This howl can make even the bravest of Fen Wolves clam up. No matter the monster, they always lose the will to fight and turn obedient.

Well, that’s my job done. I’ll leave the rest up to you guys.

“Wh-what the— What on earth just happened…?”

The merchant is looking around, dumbfounded, at the groveling monsters.

“Hi-ya!”

Zenobia sneaked in close to the merchant and now smashes him with her fist, sending him soaring into the air.

“Arwf. (Damn, that was one hell of an uppercut.)”

The merchant’s body flies up and almost hits the ceiling.

Completely robbed of consciousness, his body hits the ground with a thud.

He is totally down for the count. Plan foiled again.

“Arwf! (All of you, back to your crates! We’ll be helping you soon, so behave.)”

At my order, the monsters jump and start heading back to their cages.

“Wh-what did you do to us…?!”

The elves, who for some reason were with the rest of the monsters, have regained their sanity. They seem to be doing a lot better, probably because the influence of the collars has been cut off.

Zenobia nods in agreement and looks at me suspiciously.

“Routa, you really are…”

“Arwf?! (Wait, seriously?!)”

I’ve definitely used my power in front of Zenobia before this!

“………No. I’ve thought there was something mysterious about you since the very beginning. This doesn’t surprise me. This time it’s your victory. I’ll not make little of it. You’ve done well. It’s thanks to you that the Royal Capital has been saved.”

Zenobia gives me an awkward pat on the head.

“A-arwf?! (Zenobia’s being magnanimous?! I can’t believe it!)”

Zenobia’s just not herself without the whole “I don’t trust you, beast! Grr, grr” thing.

“You’re thinking something rude, aren’t you…?!”

“Arwfrrr. (N-no, no, of course not.)”

“I’m only going to overlook this this once. If you ever turn your power on the young lady, I’ll be ready for you.”

“Woof, woof. (Like I’d ever do that.)”

Without Lady Mary, there’d be no lavish pet life to speak of. I’ll continue serving her with all my heart. But I still don’t plan on doing any real work.

Zenobia chuckles and rubs my head again, then goes to tie up the merchant.

“You really are the most amazing dog…”

Drills manages to make it all the way to the end without panicking. Looks like she’s going to grow up to with a different sort of talent from Lady Mary.

And she somehow still thinks that I’m a dog! Talk about oblivious. Never change, Drills.

“But what’s going to happen to these poor things? Maybe there are records or something of where they were caught. Maybe if they need a safe place to stay we could use my mansion…”

As she said that, Drills closed her eyes and shook her head.

“…No, I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be right to make them live somewhere they don’t want to. I’ve already learned my lesson.”

Well, that and the fact that they are monsters. They’re playing nice right now because they’re listening to me, but unless they’re strange exceptions like Christina, they probably won’t get along well with people.

“For now, I can testify to the evil actions of that man. And then, once things quiet down, maybe I can come visit you? I did promise Mary that I would.”

Sure thing, come visit whenever. We’ll be glad to have you.

And maybe we can even sneak you out to visit the monsters that ran away from your mansion.

“U-ummm.”

Swapping places with Drills, the five elf girls line up before me.

“They told us everything—that you’re the one who saved us.”

No, I didn’t do that much. I just howled at the end; really Zenobia and Hecate did most of the work.

“Thank you so much for everything.”

The elf who appears to be the oldest bows her head, and then the rest of the girls follow suit.

“Arwf, arwf. (C’mon, that’s enough of that.)”

I’m just glad everything turned out all right.

“Arwf? (But now what are you all going to do?)”

The girls said that their village was gone and all their fellow villagers were scattered.

“I don’t know… We could go back and rebuild our village, but who knows when people like that might come attack us again…”

“We don’t really have anywhere to go.”

“We had our hands full just trying to save our sisters.”

“Guess we’ll have to go back to getting by as burglars…”

No, no, no, that’s a terrible idea. It would be a huge mistake to think that everyone is as nice as the people in my mansion. If you get caught, you might be sold right back into slavery.

“Oh my, perhaps I know of a place that you can go.”

Hecate walks over, spinning her witch’s hat on her finger.

“It’s a place no one knows about, easy to live in, and surrounded by nature.”

“A-a place like that would be…”

“Lady Luluarus! Please tell us where it is!”

“I suppose I could, but we’ll have to ask the Lord of the Forest.”

Hecate looks over at me.

Wait, me? I’m no lord. That forest is Papa’s domain.

That said, Hecate has a point. With the Fen Wolves protecting it, that forest is as safe as can be.

Hecate lives there and she’s also an elf, so it would be a great place to build a village. It’s unbelievably huge, so it wouldn’t matter if people did show up.

And if anything does happen, we’re close enough to help.

“Arwf. (I’m fine with it. I was planning on taking the monsters that wanted to go there back with me anyways.)”

“Really?! Thank you so much!”

“You’re so kind, my lord!”

“Thank you, my lord!”

The elves rush over and hug me.

Eh-heh-heh. No worries, no worries at all.

“Squeak squee-squeak! (Hands off, you harlots! That’s my husband! If you want to be his mistress, you better get in line!)”

“D-did that mouse just talk……?!”

“Squeak!! (I’m a dragon!!)”

Please stop jumping around on top of my head.

“Now then, let’s all teleport back. Nahura, your assistance, please.”

“Mrow. (Of course.)”

And with that we can draw the curtain on tonight’s excitement.

I still don’t know entirely what the merchant was up to, but that’s a job for someone greater than me. Whatever it is, it has nothing to do with a humble house pet like myself.

From the warehouse I can see the horizon and the sun just starting to peek above it.

Already morning. After everything that happened tonight, I’m exhausted. An afternoon nap sounds like the perfect plan for today.

Time to head home and sleep while my lady pets me.

And, bickering as we always do, the three of us head off to the fields.

Looks like Elusive and Grace have already retired for the night.

The quiet stable is dimly lit by an ore lamp.

We quietly creep past the stables, so as not to disturb the sleeping horses, and settle into a patch of grass near the fields.

“Woof. (Your turn, Nahura.)”

“Mew? (What?)”

“Woof. (I’m leaving the next shift to you. I’m going to sleep.)”

“Squeak. (Well then, I’ll sleep as well. If you see anything, do let us know, Nahura.)”

“M-mew?! (Wh-what?! That’s not fair!)”

Don’t both of you eat and sleep more than me during the day?

Meanwhile, I’m busy playing with my lady, assisting the old man with odd jobs, and helping Toa the twin-tailed maid hang up the laundry.

It’s time for me to make up for my chronic sleep deprivation.

“Mew… (You’re all too familiar with working this familiar to death…)”

Familiar with working a familiar? That’s a new one.

“Mew! (Ah! Routa, Routa!)”

“Arwf?! (What?! Are they already here?!)”

I raise my head from my paws.

“Mew! (Look! Look at this weird bug!)”

“Woof, woof! (Don’t interrupt my sleep for something like that!)”

Nahura’s got something that looks like a rhinoceros beetle caught between her front paws.

I rearrange myself and try to settle back down to sleep.

“Squeak! (Darling! Darling!)”

“Arwf? (Come on now. Is this just another weird bug?)”

“Squeak! (That’s not it! It’s here! Our thief!)”

Looking in the direction Len is pointing from her place atop my head, I see a flickering firelight approaching the fields.

“Arwf…? (A torch? Does that mean our thief is a human?)”

There aren’t any villages nearby, so whoever it is has to have purposefully come out this far.

All to steal the family’s vegetables. What a jackass.

I think it’s time to give them a bit of a scare with my trusty wolf face.

Without a sound I dash over toward the flickering torchlight.

“Grwwl, grwwl! (Hey, you! This is my turf! No trespassing! Get outta here! And don’t come back!)”

I jump into the torchlight, where I can be seen, and give a mighty howl.

“Ar-ar-ar-arooo?! (What’s the matter?! Too scared to speak?!)”

Well, this would be a shock.

If a giant wolf suddenly appeared in front of me like this, I’m sure I’d faint in an instant.

And, of course, piss myself.

“…………”

I’m realizing that whoever is holding this torch is way too quiet.

Did they really just faint standing up?

I’ve been so focused on the flame that I didn’t get a good look at the person carrying it.

Squinting as hard as I can, I take a good look at them.

“Arwf……? (Hmm……?)”

That’s…not a person.

It’s a horse. A horse is here.

But it’s no ordinary horse.

Its mane and tail are alight with a spectral flame, and its eyes shine bloodred.

From their lofty position, the rectangular pupils look down at me. The moment our eyes meet, the flames of its mane flare up violently.

The force of the flames is so strong that the hide of the burning horse appears transparent in its light.

But beneath the hide isn’t muscle—just bare, fleshless bones.

In the face of this terrifying sight, only one reaction seems appropriate—

“Ee-eeeek!! (A-a ghost!!)”

Without thinking, I grab Nahura from my back and hold her in front of me as a shield.

“Meeeeww!! (N-nooooooo!!)”

The moment I grab Nahura, she, in turn, grabs Len and shoves her forward.

“Squeeeeak!! (Wait, don’t do it!!)”

Having nothing to shield herself with, Len just screams at the burning skeletal horse.

Seeing this, the horse, who was frozen until Len screamed, rears up, half-crazed, on its hind legs.

“Neeeeeeeeigh!! (A-a ghost?! I hate ghosts!!)”

“““WoofMrowSqueak!! (We’re talking about youuuuuu!!)”””

The cries of four animals ring across the darkened fields.

“Neigh?! Neeeeeeigh?! (A ghost?! Where’s the ghost?!)”

The occasionally transparent burning horse is still panicking, whinnying, rearing, and foaming at the mouth.

“““………………”””

Meanwhile, we’ve calmed down and continue to watch it.

It’s a classic example of the phenomenon whereby you get really calm after seeing someone else freaking out a little too much.

This guy is a legit ghost, and yet I’m not scared at all. It’s probably because he’s a total coward. I just can’t see him doing anything evil.

This goes on for a minute or so before finally the horse’s panic starts to subside.

“Wh-whinny…? (…Ummm, where’s the ghost…?)”

Now that it finally realizes things have calmed down, the intensity of the horse’s flames begins to lessen, but it still seems uncertain.

“Woof. (Well, we thought that you were the ghost.)”

“N-neeeeeeigh?! (A-a wolf?!)”

“Woof?! (You just noticed that?!)”

Whatever, just please calm down.

“Whinny! (Don’t eat me! Please don’t eat me!)”

I’m not going to eat you.

I’m a pampered pooch. I only eat cooked meat.

That being said, horse sashimi is delicious…

Especially with some thick, sweet soy sauce and a bit of grated ginger.

And after your tongue is coated with the fat of the meat, you wash it down with a swig of dry shochu on the rocks…

“…Drool. (Whoops, I’m drooling.)”

“Neeeeigh!! (N-noooooooo!! I knew it! You are going to eat meeee!!)”

“Woof, woof. (Oh shoot, I’m sorry. I’m not going to eat you, please calm down.)”

I try to calm the horse as it starts to get worked up again.

“Squeak? (Say, darling, isn’t this our thief? Why don’t we just end this with me eating it? I could change back, and it would only take one bite.)”

“Woof. (Don’t say disturbing things like that. It’s innocent until proven guilty. And I just promised it that we wouldn’t eat it, so let’s hear what it has to say first.)”

And old man James did say he just wanted to know who the culprit was.

He didn’t say anything about capturing or punishing them.

This horse may look terrifying, but it talks normally. Once it calms down and explains what’s going on, we might understand the situation.

If it doesn’t settle down, we can’t do anything.

We wait for the horse’s panic to subside.

But something’s off. If it’s this scared, why didn’t it just run off?

More patient waiting.

Len curls up on my head, and Nahura starts grooming herself.

And so we wait for a while again.

“Wh-whinny (U-ummm…… I’m sorry. I just, I get startled easily……)”

Speaking hesitantly, the horse has finally calmed down once again.

“Bark. (We’re not going to attack you; don’t be so worried.)”

“Neigh… (But you were just drooling, Mr. Wolf… And that mouse, it blatantly said it was going to eat me…)”

“Squeak. (I’m not a mouse. I’m an elder dragon,)” Len boasts as she stands.

“Wh-whinny?! (A-a dragon?! Dragons are scary!!)”

Not again.

We just started talking. Could you not interrupt, please?

I give my head a shake to dislodge Len.

Right toward where Nahura is sitting at the base of my tail.

“Mew. (Well, hello there.)”

Nahura snags Len out of the air.

This guy’s the type to be afraid of mice, so it’ll be best to simply hide Len for now.

Though I think a dragon is way scarier than a mouse.

“Squeak! (Hey! You two have been very rude toward me recently!)”

Don’t worry, there’s nothing “recent” about it. We’ve been treating you like this from the very beginning.

I ignore Len’s squeaking protest, coming from where she’s trapped, in Nahura’s front paws.

I need to keep the horse talking.

“Woof, woof. (I’m Routa. I’m not a wolf; I’m a dog. This cat is Nahura. And Lenowyrm over there is a mouse who thinks she’s a dragon.)”

“Squeak, squeak?! (What?! What do you mean ‘thinks’?! I am a dragon! I’m a real dragon!)”

“Arwf. (She’s a little touched in the head. Forgive her.)”

“Neigh… (Ohhh, poor thing…)”

The horse gives Len a look full of pity.

“Squeak! (Listen to me!)”

“Mew. (Please calm down, Lady Len. There, there.)”

The furious Len is trying to struggle out of Nahura’s grasp.

She could easily prove herself by revealing her dragon form, but we’re too close to the mansion.

Figuring this was going to turn into a troublesome situation, I told Len to refrain from transforming before we got out here.

As soon as I hammered home the point that she’d never get to taste the old man’s cooking again if she was discovered, she immediately acquiesced.

Thus, she can’t turn into a dragon. So she should just calm down and wait patiently.

“Whinny… (Poor little mouse…)”

“Squeak?! (You’re pitying me?!)”

The shock at being pitied by this horse shows all over Len’s face.

“Squeak… (B-but I am a dragon… I really am… I’m not just saying things…)”

“Mewl. (Shh. Stop interrupting the conversation, Lady Len. Would you like some cheese?)”

“Squeak… (Sniffle… Yes, please…)”

Nahura retrieves a piece of cheese from parts unknown and gives it to Len.

Len’s nose is trembling, and she looks on the verge of tears.

This elder spinster dragon really has low mental fortitude.

Now that the person who was interrupting the conversation is quiet, I turn back to the horse.

“Woof? (So what’s your deal? You don’t look like an ordinary horse.)”

“Neigh?! (Huh? I’m a horse?!)”

“Arwf?! (Seriously?!)”

Another case of having to start with explaining what someone is.

How can this horse not know it’s a horse?

Oh, actually, I guess I’m the same way.

I’m a giant wolf pretending to be a dog.

Guess I don’t have a leg to stand on.

“Whinny… (I see. So I’m a horse… No wonder I like carrots so much…)”

Well, that was incriminating. Looks like we’ve found our culprit.

But the more I talk to it, the less it seems like some evil monster.

It’s way different from those evil goblins or that angry boar I fought before.

Its outward form is larger than any standard horse’s, but it seems to have the mind of a child.

“Whinny… (I-I’m sorry. I really can’t remember anything…)”

“Bark? (You can’t remember anything? Like amnesia?)”

Amnesia strong enough to make you forget you’re a horse—wow.

Maybe that childishness stems from a lack of memories.

“Neigh. (I was starving and wandering through the forest when I smelled something delicious… I didn’t know they belonged to you. I’m sorry.)”

“Woof. (Well, they’re not really ours. But you’re causing trouble for the person who manages these fields, so you can’t just go off eating things.)”

I get that this horse isn’t a bad guy, but what am I supposed to do with a giant amnesiac monster horse?

I’m sure that if I introduced him to the old man, he’d apologize, but if old man James saw a horse that’s clearly a monster of some sort, he’d die of shock.

……Or would he?

He might just look at him as a meal and be glad for the generous portions.

Old man James is definitely the scariest one among us.

Not to mention that in order to protect my peaceful pet life, I need everyone in the mansion to keep believing that this is a pleasant area without a single monster living in the forest.

So it’s not as simple as just sending this guy back to the forest.

“Squeak— (Which is why I said the fastest way to deal with this is—)”

“Woof. (And I said we’re not doing that.)”

As always, Len’s proposed retribution goes way overboard.

She’s kind to friends but has no sympathy for enemies. I guess that’s part of being a dragon.

But eating someone just because they ate some carrots is taking it too far.

I may have to teach Len how to be a pet again.

“Woof? (Len, Nahura, does either of you have any idea what species of monster this guy is?)”

“Squeak? (Ummm… Some sort of…burning horse?)”

“Mew. (Well, he’s clearly a type of spirit, but I don’t know the specific species. I expect Mistress would know.)”

“Woof. (Ah, that’s true. Let’s ask Hecate.)”

I forgot about our neighborhood witch of many talents.

She’s the one person who knows all our true forms and situations and will probably lend a hand if we ask.

“Mew… (No, actually, Mistress has been extraordinarily busy…)”

“Woof? (Oh, really?)”

I guess the guild’s keeping her busy, what with the whole mess with the elves and the slave trader.

Nahura gives an evasive answer.

“Mew. (Recently, she’s been holed up in her workshop. She even ordered me not to contact her telepathically.)”

“Bark… (Well, if she’s that busy, we…we probably shouldn’t bother her…)”

Speaking of, I haven’t seen her even once since we came back from our trip to the city.

I should invite her to come over once she’s free again. We’re friends, after all. And Lady Mary would love to see her.

I’m really interested in whatever she’s got going on that has her locked away in her workshop.

But right now, we’ve got to deal with this horse.

And it’s looking like we’re going to have to do it ourselves.

“Grr…? (What’re we gonna do with you…?)”

As I mull over the possibilities, the horse suddenly falls over with a thud.

“W-woof (Wh-what are you doing?)”

“N-neigh… (I’m just so hungry…)”

Hungry enough to collapse?

But I can’t let it eat what’s in the fields, and I guess the leaves around us are no good.

“Neigh! (Hey, Routa!)”

“Whinny! (Bring that little one over here!)”

The sound of whinnying comes from the stables.

It’s Elusive and Grace. The uproar earlier must have woken them up.

“Woof, woof. (Come on, get up, horse. Some other horses—though I guess other doesn’t really apply in this situation—are calling us.)”

“Neigh… (Okay…)”

Elusive and Grace have been helping us with this whole investigation. This will at least be a temporary solution as we tell them what we’ve discovered.

I just hope they aren’t too surprised when they see this giant, burning, see-through horse.

As I lead the swaying horse into the barn, Elusive sticks his head out of his stall.

“Whinny. (Go ahead and eat some of this fodder.)”

Elusive grabs a chunk of grass wrapped in netting from the wall and passes it over.

“Woof? (Are you sure? Isn’t this your portion?)”

“Whinny. (We’ve both had our fill. It’ll get replenished tomorrow anyway.)”

I offer thanks to the pair and then drop the feed in front of the burning horse.

“Woof. (Lucky you. Um…by the way, I don’t suppose you know your own name?)”

“N-neigh! (F-food! Food!)”

“Woof! (Pay attention!)”

The horse has shoved its head into the feed bag and begins wolfing down the contents.

“Munch munch! (This is delicious! So good! Thank you, mister! Thank you, ma’am!)”

“Whinny. (That’s all well and good, but do slow down.)”

“Whinny. (Don’t worry; that’s all for you. So take your time and enjoy it.)”

Elusive is looking a little nervous about the situation, while Grace is looking at the new horse with kindness in her eyes.

I’m a bit worried myself that the flames from the horse’s tail are going to spread to the barn.

The couple seems to be taking this all pretty well. More of that obliviousness? I guess they are members of the Faulks family.

“Mew? (What was that, Routa?)”

Nahura, who resumed grooming herself as the horse fixated on eating, lifts her head.

“Arwf? (Huh? I didn’t say anything. Did you, Len?)”

“Squeak. (Wasn’t me… This feed isn’t very good. Not to my taste at all.)”

Len throws away the piece of feed she’s been nibbling at.

“Bark? (Maybe you were just hearing things?)”

“Mew. (It must have come from outside. I swear I heard what sounded like someone talking.)”

Huh? Maybe it’s the old man?

Whether it’s him or someone else from the mansion, we can’t let them see this crazy horse.

“Woof! (Nahura, Len, I’ll go buy some time. You two do something to hide this horse!)”

“Mew? (What? How do you expect us to do that?!)”

“Squeak? (Can’t we just use your spatial magic?)”

“Mew! (Ohhh, nice idea, Lady Len. Very clever!)”

“Squeak. (Exactly. I am very clever.)”

Nahura sings her praises, and Len’s head swells.

Despite my anxiousness, I go flying out of the barn to buy us some time.

“Arwf! (Hey, I don’t know who’s out there, but try to resist my adorable pose!)”

Whether it’s the old man or one of the maids, come at me!

I tuck into a front roll, flipping over onto my back and ending in a full-body pet-me pose.

“Ha-ha-ha… (Come on, aren’t I cute?! Pet me, rub me! Come on! …Wait, what?)”

There’s no response to my adorable display.

And there’s no one coming from the direction of the mansion.

Instead there’s a human figure, covered in a tattered cloak, limping its way out of the forest.

“I’ve found you… Nightmare… Why would you run from our master to come to a place like this…?”

It’s a gloomy voice that sounds like it comes straight from a deep, dark abyss.

“A-arwf?! (Who are you?! And who’s Nightmare?! There’s no one like that here!)”

“…Reveal yourself, Nightmare…”

The cloak-covered figure ignores me and raises what it’s carrying.

In its hand is a giant scythe.

The handle is long, and the blade is huge. It has an ominous shape, as though it could reap human souls as easily as stalks of rice.

And at the same time, I see the face lurking below the figure’s hood.

It’s a skull.

No muscle, no flesh—just a terrifying skull.

“E-eeeek?! (Another ghost appeared?!)”

Due to the sheer terror of the sight, I piss myself while in my submissive pose.

The yellow liquid sketches a parabolic arc in the air, coming down to land on the cloak of the skeleton.

The warm fluid soaks into the cloak.

“A-arwf. (Ahhh, my bad.)”

“……Die.”

The skeleton doesn’t hesitate.

Scythe raised high over my belly, the skeleton ruthlessly swings it downward, splitting it right in two.

The scythe, that is.

The giant blade spins off with a hum.

The scythe blade, which was expected to tear into my exposed stomach, snapped off at the hilt and vanished into the tall grass.

“………………What…?”

The skeleton is staring at its scythe handle, dumbfounded, and my urine goes back to soaking its robe.

Did you know?

Big dogs pee for a really long time. Sometimes they take minutes.

And I’m a giant wolf, larger than a small cow.

It’s like a hose with the water pressure on full blast.

It just keeps coming and coming.

My lukewarm stream relentlessly seeps into the skeleton’s cloak.

The now mildly drenched cloak is sticking to the bones, revealing the thin frame of the skeleton.

While peeing, I couldn’t help but think how uncomfortable this must be if the bones have nerves in them.

“Arwf… (That’s… It’s just… I’m so sorry.)”

As I try to apologize again, the sound of laughter floats out of the stables.

“Mrow! (Pffft! Peeing on someone as soon as you meet them! How many more times are you going to do that? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!)”

Nahura is rolling around in stitches, paws clasped to her stomach.

“Squeak. (Ha-ha-ha, how magnificent. That’s just like you, darling!)”

Why is Len laughing about this?

She’s bragging like she did it herself.

“Squeak. (Mr. Skull, I apologize on behalf on my darling.)”

With a cheerful laugh, Len calls out to the skeleton.

But then her eyes narrow.

“Squeak. (…That said, for the crime of raising that blade, the sentence is death.)”

As soon as she says this with a cold, ruthless voice, Len’s small tail becomes massive in an instant.

The tail is long and thick like a steel whip and is clad in giant scales.

Only her tail reverted to dragon form—or, rather, shed its mouse form.

The tail is so large compared to her mouse body that it looks like it’s springing directly out of the ground.

Wouldn’t the weight of the tail crush the body?

As I’m puzzling over this, the giant tail accelerates into a blur.

“Squeak. (Repent of your sins and die.)”

There isn’t a chance to stop her.

The swinging dragon tail breaks the sound barrier, flashes over me, and smashes sideways through the skeleton.

With a dry poof the skeleton explodes, spreading bone dust across the night sky.

It’s been smashed into smithereens.

The extreme scale and speed of that attack completely removed any existence of the skeleton.

And the terror of such an attack whistling over my head has finally stilled my peeing.

And caused my balls to retract.

“Squeak. (Hmph, how vulgar. Swinging a blade at my darling? Unforgivable.)”

Breathing heavily, Len declares her victory.

Y-yaaay…

I can really feel Len’s love for me.

It’s so strong.

I’m so happy.

Blech.

I can’t do anything but give a wry laugh.

“Squeak. (See, darling? If anyone ever tries to harm you, I will destroy them completely and utterly.)”

“A-arwf. (Th-Thanks. You saved me. But we’re still not a couple, okay? Can you stop trying to get that established as a fact?)”

She may be mentally weak, but physically she’s top class.

I better do everything in my power to stay on her good side.

I really don’t want to see her lovesick-to-the-point-of-violence side, so maybe it’s time to hold off on teasing her for a while.

“……Futile……”

We hear the voice of the supposedly dead skeleton.

“This body was given to me by the Ruler of the Dead… So long as it retains his magic…I will continue to be restored…”

Who’s this Ruler of the Dead?

Another person I’ve never heard of.

No, wait, I feel like I have heard that name before.

Wasn’t it in that book my lady was reading?

The source of the information aside, if this guy is the minion of that Ruler of the Dead guy, does he really have infinite lives?

But as he said, he’s starting to re-form from the feet up.

That’s one heck of a rebuild time. It looks like even the scythe is being re-formed.

At this pace he’ll be back in a matter of seconds.

“Woof, woof?! (What do we do?! What do we do?! Limitless respawns is a total cheat! This guy’s cheating!)”

“Heh-heh-heh… I’ll not fail again. I shall reap all of your souls…”

The half-rebuilt skull of the skeleton rattles and laughs.

“Squeak. (Hmph, is that so? Then try this on for size.)”

The skeleton is hammered again by the merciless dragon tail.

With a smashing sound, the skeleton is flattened into the ground.

“A-arwf? (Eh, um, wait, Len?)”

Len’s remorseless attack without consideration for the situation has me trembling.

I mean, the skeleton was just starting his monologue.

Don’t you have the decency to let him finish?!

“F-futile……”

Just as the powdered bones start to re-form, the dragon tail smashes them from above again.

“F-futile……”

Smash.

“Futi……”

Crunch.

“Fu……”

Whomp.

“…………”

Shatter.

Crash. Thwack.

Smash. Crunch. Whomp. Shatter.

Wallop. Crash. Thwack. Thrash. Crunch. Smash.

As if she were hammering a nail into a piece of wood, Len continues to flatten the skeleton.

How many minutes have passed?

I can’t even hear the groans of the skeleton now.

Len lifts her tail from the depression in the ground.

The remnants are so mixed in with the soil that I can’t tell what is and isn’t bone anymore.

“Squeak. (Hmph, that was easy.)”

“A-arwf… (I—I don’t think it’s moving anymore…)”

“Squeak, squeak. (It said it couldn’t die so long as it had magic remaining, which means that there’s a limit. So if it doesn’t die, I just have to keep killing it until it does.)”

Well…that’s one way to get the job done.

Len’s scary.

I normally only see her weepy mouse form, but she’s actually terrifying.

“Woof? (But what did he want? I’m assuming the Nightmare he mentioned was that idiot horse. And who’s this Ruler of the Dead guy?)”

There are too many monsters in this forest.

And for a thousand years, none of them leaked out.

The Fen Wolves are way too efficient.

“Arwf… (Hmm, Ruler of the Dead…)”

That definitely sounds like the name of a boss character.

If there’s someone in there like that, I’m sure Garo and the other wolves will take care of it.

I should go ask them about it. They’re the best source of info about the forest.

This was just supposed to be about finding whoever was raiding the fields, but I think it’s turning into something much larger.

“Woof… (No, no, this is all for my comfortable, slacker dog life. I just have to work a bit harder…)”

I could worry myself sick about the contradiction of working for the sake of not working, but I think I’ll just ignore it instead.

I already experienced all that back when I was a wage slave!

I don’t wanna relive those dark days!

“Mew? (But, Routa, isn’t that putting the cart before the horse?)”

“Bark! (Don’t say it! Let me have my delusions!)”

And to the familiar tune of our bickering, the spatial magic whisks us away to pick up our horse.

The listless muttering comes from a figure standing on a bleak hill overlooking the graveyard.

It sounds like an old man talking to himself.

The figure sits upon a stone throne, wrapped in a dark, shadowy cloak, and looks more like a heretical priest than like a king.

The costume itself is terrifying, but the figure wearing it is even more abnormal.

It’s large. Far larger than the average human.

Even sitting upon the throne, it would tower over houses.

The staff clenched in its right hand is more like a pillar, and the jewels around its neck are the size of large rocks.

But most horrible is the lack of any flesh on the giant figure.

No skin, no muscles, no organs. Just bones, looking like cracked pottery, peeking out of the robe.

And looking closely at the bones making up its giant form, you see they aren’t ordinary bones.

Each bone is made up of countless human bones, and in turn these giant bones form a giant skeleton.

A skeleton made of an amalgam of corpses.

That is the true form of the giant sitting on its secret throne.

If someone present were knowledgeable of the great war of a thousand years ago, the presence of the Lich, the Ruler of the Dead, one of the Demon Lord’s army’s Five Demon Generals, would cause them to cry out in anguish.

“I cannot believe there would be anyone among the humans able to defeat my apostle. What could have befallen him…?”

The Lich would never imagine that his favored apostle has been smashed to pieces by a dragon tail, and he grips his cup, filled with doubts.

“Oh well. Things never go as easily as you wish them to. It has been over a thousand years since we, the Demon Lord’s army, were sealed by the hero. And while we were able to finally break the seal, I am the only one who has awoken… It seems the hero’s seal still contains some of its monstrous power…”

Propping an elbow on the throne causes countless bones to rub together.

“Now, let me think. Just what was the name of that hero…? It would not do to forget the name of one’s most hated enemy. Perhaps it is the influence of the seal, but those memories are obscured.”

The Lich only awoke a few days ago.

An incredibly powerful magic spell went off nearby, weakening the seal for a moment.

The Lich, master of magic and immortality, took advantage of the opportunity to escape the seal, but the action of breaking out left his memories strangely hazy.

“Maybe that’s why my Nightmare fled from me. Has it forgotten the face of its creator…?”

Upon seeing the face of the Lich, the Nightmare screamed, “Ahhh! A gh-gh-ghooooost!!” and fled, agitated, westward.

“I immediately sent my apostle after the cursed thing, but perhaps I shall need to commit further soldiers, as they have yet to return. I put so much effort into creating my undead warhorse. And seeing as it is to be a gift to the Demon Lord upon his revival, I cannot allow it get away.”

The Lich raises his left hand in a beckoning manner.

As more of the miasma leaks from the hem of his robe, the clouds in the graveyard thicken.

The ground begins to bulge, and countless skeletons begin to climb from their graves.

“Ruler of the dead, you called for us?”

The skeletons kneel before the being on the stone throne.

“My faithful apostles. Head westward and return to me my wayward Nightmare. It may be unfounded, but something may have happened to your brother I sent earlier. Take care on your journey.”

“My lord, we are grateful for your concern! We, your invincible spirit warriors, will scatter the fragile humans and return victorious with your warhorse!”

The skeleton troops respond to the order of their lord with the loyalty of old veterans.

The Lich gives a satisfied nod to their statement.

“Ho-ho-ho, the humans will be no match for the likes of you. I shall await your swift return!”

“““Yes, sir!”””

Each gathers its equipment from its grave, and with a military air and the dreadful aura of the undead, the skeleton army sets off to the west.

This was the beginning of the invasion of the undead army.

One would need all the bravery one could muster.

Thwap. Smash. Crush. Thwomp. Smack.

The sound of a beating tail echoes through the fields at night.

“Wha?!”

“It can’t be?!”

“We’re invincible?!”

“How can we?!”

“Be defeated?!”

“So easily?!”

Thus goes the invasion.

The ranked skeletons are mercilessly flattened.

“Arwf… (Well. I figured they’d be coming, but I didn’t think there’d be this many of them…)”

I’m lying on the ground watching the skeletons being completely destroyed.

It’s like a game of Whac-A-Mole.

Just when they get restored and stand back up, they get pounded back into the ground. It’s a tragicomedy.

“Squee… (‘Well’ nothing. I’m the one doing all the work here…)”

Len complains while still smashing the skeletons with the clearly nonmouse tail that belies her mouse form.

“Woof, woof. (As they say, those who don’t work don’t eat. This is your chance to show thanks for your life of idleness.)”

“Mew. (It’s amazing that you can ignore your own faults so brazenly.)”

“Arwf. (Yeah, yeah, I know. Hey, Nahura, you do some work as well.)”

“Mrow. (I am working. I keep teleporting the fleeing skeletons back to the front of Lady Len.)”

With a wave of her paw, the reborn skeletons running from Len’s tail are instantly teleported back to where the merciless tail then smashes them back into smithereens.

What a dreadful combo attack. Boxed in with nowhere to go.

“Aaarrwf. (Just try not to damage the old man’s fields.)”

I yawn loudly, then prop my forepaws under my chin.

The first time I saw a skeleton, it surprised me enough that I peed myself, but now it’s as boring as an assembly-line job.

But no matter how certain our victory, we must never let our guard down.

“Whinny. (Oh d-dear. A-are these guys also looking for me?)”

Mare pops his trembling head out of the nearby stables.

“Arwf. (Huh? No idea. But if they keep heading in this direction, they’ll trample the fields and then get to the mansion.)”

And I won’t allow either to happen.

Anything that threatens my lazy pet life needs to be crushed.

Though I guess Len’s the one doing the crushing.

“Whinny. (Don’t be so pathetic, Mare. If you’re going to be one of the Faulks family horses, you need to act more dignified.)”

“Whinny. (Come now, dear, Mare’s just a girl. She can’t help it if she’s scared.)”

Elusive and Grace begin to nuzzle the frightened Mare.

“Wh-whinny. (I-I’m sorry for being a scaredy-cat…)”

“Whinny. (That’s all right, Mare. If anything ever happens, our family wolf will save us.)”

“Whinny? (Really? Routa will protect us?)”

“Arwf, arwf? (Oh, no, don’t put those expectations on me. I don’t know what you expect some pet to do… Also, Mare, you’re female?)”

“Wh-whinny. (S-seems so. Tee-hee.)”

Why are you blushing?

I know absolutely nothing about animal sexes, so I guess this is good to know.

But who asked for a tomboy horse?

“Squeak! (Hey, you nag! Quit flirting with my husband! I’ll get you!)”

As her tail keeps pounding away, Len jabs at Mare with her little fingers.

“Arwf… (She’s not flirting with me, and even if she were, I’m not a furry, so it wouldn’t be very effective.)”

“Squeak. (That’s right. My beloved is wholly devoted to me. I shouldn’t accuse you of having an affair. Forgive me, my love.)”

“Woof. (Hmm, weird. It feels like we’re talking but not communicating.)”

“Squeak! (You and I, darling, have transcended the need for mere conversation when it comes to communication!)”

Nothing can discourage this woman.

In some ways, her tenacity is inspiring.

“Woof. (Anyway, where do you think these skeletons came from? The forest is patrolled by Garo and the Fen Wolves, so they should notice immediately if anything happens.)”

It’s hard to imagine the crack team of Fen Wolves would run away from something. So why wouldn’t they take care of this?

Once we’re done here I might have to go investigate a little.

I decide that with a glance over at Len, who is wriggling about making weird noises while smashing skeletons.

“Woof, woof. (Don’t mention it. It can be dangerous out this far, so I’m taking you two back to the shallows.)”

For my super Fenrir body, ferrying these two is nothing.

I pull them back toward the shore, where Miranda is waiting, displeased.

“Toa! What part of that was looking after Lady Mary? What would you have done if you both drowned?!”

“M-my apologies, ma’am!”

“There, there, Miss Miranda. Nothing bad happened. Let’s settle this…”

For once, Zenobia isn’t advocating for violence.

Oh, right. It’s probably because she also can’t swim.

Based on Zenobia’s character type, when Lady Mary went under she should have leaped right in.

That she left it to me to handle tells me that Zenobia probably swims like a rock. Case closed.

“Arwf? (Isn’t that right, Zenobia?)”

“H-hmph!”

Zenobia turns away from my smirking side-glance in a huff. Ha, bull’s-eye.

“Now, my lady, if you spend too long in the water, you’ll catch cold. Time to get out to take a break.”

Miranda drapes a towel around the shoulders of Lady Mary and Toa and sits them down in the sun.

“I’m going to prepare some hot tea, so please wait here.”

“Miranda, please don’t scold Toa. It was all my fault…”

“On the contrary, my lady, it is part of a maid’s duties to warn her masters against engaging in dangerous activities. We need to ensure that Toa develops into a proper maid for the Faulks family.”

Miranda is normally very kind to my lady, but she is unmoved when it comes to anyone doing something wrong.

“Which is why you both will receive a scolding. Prepare yourselves for it after you finish your tea.”

Whoops, that spun right back around on Lady Mary.

““O-kay…””

My lady looks despondently after the smirking Miranda.

Poor them—but this is for their development, so I’ll just have to watch over them and lick up the tears.

I also don’t want to get roped into the scolding myself. (Actual motive.)

I move a little ways from the girls and shake my body to get the water off.

Otherwise I’d soak everyone with the spray.

“Squeak?! (Wh-what the—?!)”

My shaking sends Len flying through the air.

“Arwf. (I got it, I got it… Aaand caught you.)”

With her back in my scruff, we head over toward the horses cooling themselves in the shade of a tree.

“Squee…? (What were you thinking…?)”

“Arwf, arwf. (I caught you, didn’t I? It’s your fault for always sleeping on me.)”

I can’t forgive her for being lazier than a pet like me.

“Arwf. (Hey, guys. Good job earlier. Sorry we keep making a ruckus all night.)”

It’s not a bad thing that the skeletons keep showing up night after night, but it’s got to be interfering with the horses’ sleep.

“Whinny. (Don’t mention it. You don’t need to worry about that at all.)”

“Neigh. (He just doesn’t want to look uncool in front of Mare, the old silly.)”

“Whinny. (There you go again, saying too much… Cripes…)”

They’re just an old married couple. That’s something we can all aspire to.

“Squee. (I hope we can be like them at some point.)”

“Arwf. (If you mean as friends, I’m all for it.)”

“Squeak! (No! I mean as a couple! I want a family with lots of children!)”

I don’t think that’s physically possible.

“Bark? (Where’d Mare get off to? She’s not with you two?)”

“Munch, munch, munch? (Huh? What was that? Did someone say something?)”

Mare’s head pops up, her mouth full of grass.

“Arwf… (Come on, either chew or speak, not both… You really are a glutton, aren’t you…?)”

I’m surrounded by deadbeats.

“Arwf. (So it seems like there’s been no problem with you settling in.)”

She’s been helping the old man pull his cart about, and Zenobia seems to like her.

She’s becomes a welcome addition to the family.

…Wait, is Mare becoming a more valued member of the family than I am?

“Neigh. (I’m just so happy. The food’s delicious, and everyone is so nice to me. I don’t remember my past, but I can’t imagine it was any better than this!)”

“Whinny. (Right, forget about the past. You’re a member of the Faulks family now. You can stay here as long as you’d like.)”

“Whinny. (Yes, and we’re so happy to have you here; it’s like having a daughter.)”

“Wh-whinny? (Y-you’re really okay with me being here?)”

“Whicker. (Of course we are.)”

“Whinny. (Certainly—just think of us as family.)”

The old couple’s kindness causes tears to spill from Mare’s eyes.

“Wh-whinny…… (I-I’m……I’m so……sniff, sniff…… I’m…I’m so…… happy. I’m just so happy……)”

“Arwf. (Heh. That’s not something to cry about.)”

If I had fingers I’d have to rub my eyes right about now.

“Squeak! (Hey, darling!)”

“Arwf. (What is it? Don’t interrupt this happy scene.)”

“Squeak. (Well, her body’s becoming transparent. Should we just ignore that?)”

“Arwf?! (What?!)”

Exactly as Len noted, Mare’s body is definitely becoming transparent.

“Whinny. (I truly am so very happy…… Oh, I feel tired all of a sudden. Both my spirit and my body feel so light……)”

“Bark, bark! (Sh-she’s passing on?! L-Len! Hurry! I don’t know if we’re going to make it in time!)”

“Squeak……? (Oh, for crying out loud, is this girl going to start ascending every time she feels happy……?)”

And with the ascension force-canceled and a transformation spell applied, we manage to escape without incident.

It was dusk when we came back from the lake, and by the time we finished dinner, it was already night.

After playing her heart out all day, my lady is fast asleep.

I sneak out of the bed.

“Nggh… Routa… Bad boy…”

Oops, did I wake her?

“You can’t eat the fountain…tee-hee…”

Ah, she’s just talking in her sleep.

Of course I’m not going to eat the fountain, my lady. Come what may, I’m not going to start eating stones. If I’m going to eat something hard, it’s going to be bones. Bones are delicious.

After tucking her back in, I slip from the room.

Everything should be okay, since I’ve destroyed all the labyrinths, but just in case, I’m gonna survey the fields real quick.

There’s always the chance that those skeleton guys didn’t come from the labyrinths, but from elsewhere.

They seemed intelligent, and the way they were trying to retrieve Mare makes me think they’re following someone’s orders, which is out of place for monsters coming from the labyrinths.

And I’m still a bit concerned about what that first skeleton said about a Ruler of the Dead.

I’m sure I remember hearing about someone like that in that fairy tale my lady was reading.

He was one of the Demon Lord’s underlings or something. I don’t really remember, but I’m almost sure that was written in there somewhere.

“Arwf… (Oh shoot, this might be dangerous. I don’t think I’d be able to handle one of the Demon Lord’s underlings…)”

I’m really hoping I’m mistaken.

“Squee. (Who cares, even if they are among the Demon Lord’s followers? They’re no match for you, my darling. You’d be able to defeat a weakling of that caliber with one bite.)”

Len pops her head out of my fur and snorts.

Oh well, when the moment comes, I’ll just let Len deal with it.

She’s our mentally weak mouse and our highly destructive dragon. And she’s great in a pinch.

Go for it, Len! My happy pet life is on your shoulders!

“Sniff sniff? (Hmm? What’s that delicious smell…?)”

Just as we are about to leave the mansion, I catch wind of something that smells good.

It’s meat. I’m smelling meat.

It’s different from the raw meat we ate yesterday. It has the rich aroma of properly cooked meat.

And it’s mixed with the faint hint of a sweet liquor.

It suddenly hits me.

“Arwf, arwf! (This is the sign of a midnight snack!)”

“Squeak. (Excuse me, darling. Weren’t we going to the fields?)”

Right, the fields.

We can’t just ignore them.

I guess there’s only one thing to do.

“Arwf. (You go ahead.)”

“S-squeak? (Wh-what?!)”

“Arwf. (It’ll be fine. Nahura should already be on her way, so you don’t have to be afraid of being there alone.)”

“Squeak! (Do you think me some child who can’t go to the bathroom alone at night?! That’s not the issue here! You, darling, you, you’re just—)”

“Arwf. (Have fun out there.)”

I open the window and shake my head, dropping Len outside.

“Squeak! Squeak! (Darling—! When I get back, you better watch out!)”

I ignore Len scolding me from where she fell on the grass.

My mind is already consumed with the thought of tracing the source of this smell.

It’s entranced me much more than that labyrinth scent.

“Arwf! (Time to get a midnight snack, woohoooo!)”

There’s only one person who would be drinking at this hour.

“Arwf, arwf! (Papa! You know you’ve got gout! If you don’t want me snitching to Hecate, you’d better share your snack!)”

I dash up the stairs and over to Papa’s study, where I start barking.

After a little while, the door opens and a face peeks out.

“So you’ve already sniffed us out, huh? You certainly keep your finger on the pulse of this house, don’t you? Or is it your nose on the pulse?”

It’s old man James, sporting a wry smile.

In a departure from the norm, he’s wearing plain clothes, a black button-down shirt, and it suits him. He’s got the top button undone, which gives him a roguish appearance.

“Arwf? (Huh? You’re having a snack, too, old man?)”

“Oh well, you better come in. Guess it’s a rare guys-only party.”

As the old man lets me in, I see Papa reclining on the study sofa.

“Hey there, Routa. I figured you’d show up.”

Papa, red faced and grinning, lifts his glass in greeting.

“Master, would you like another?”

“Oh, go on, then.”

Old man James fills a tall glass with ice before adding a little bit of amber liquor. He then mixes it thoroughly with a cocktail stirrer until the liquor is chilled and tops the glass off with water.

Judging by the fizzing sound, it must be some of the carbonated water we picked up.

Finally, he adds a slice of lemon and then gives it another quick stir.

He’s giving off more of a bartender feel than his usual chef presence, or maybe he seems like a veteran host from a club. A definite silver fox.

“A-arwf! (Hey, isn’t that like a highball?! Me too! Make one for me too, old man!)”

“What, do you want one, too? Just a minute; it’ll be easier to drink if I give you a tureen.”

The old man makes me a highball as well.

Because he’s served it in a tureen, it looks more like a soup, but I don’t care. So long as I get to drink it.

“Here you are, sir.”

“Ahhh, thank you. And drop the formality, James. Let’s talk like we used to.”

“…Well, I suppose, since none of the other servants are here… Have it your way, Gandolf. We’ll toss formality out the window tonight.”

The two clink their glasses together.

What a cool pair of guys. I should take a picture.

I can’t lift my glass, so I just stick my head in the bowl without a care.

Gulp, gulp. Phwah.

“Arwf. (Wow. You don’t taste the alcohol at all, just a nice, mellow, refreshing flavor. It’s a perfect cocktail, old man.)”

It’s just a simple highball, but the old man’s flexing his skills.

“Hey there, make sure you eat the snacks. I don’t want you getting sick.”

With that, the old man slides a plate in front of me. On it are thin slices of red meat.

“A-arwf…?! (Th-this fresh color, is this…?!)”

“It’s essentially roast beef—or in this case, roast boar, I suppose. It’s finally matured. I made this as a test, so it’ll be just us sampling it. Keep it a secret, all right?”

The old man says this with a shushing motion and a charming wink. I think I’m falling for him.

“Oh-ho, this is delicious. Even without any sauce, it’s got a really strong flavor.”

“When the meat is resting after being cooked, I leave it to sit in a warm broth. Normally you marinate the meat before you cook it, but this way the meat cools as it absorbs the broth. It’s just a little trick.”

“Omf gromf! (D-delicious! And how is it so tender? It’s still red meat, but it’s melting in my mouth!)”

The old man has a look of childish delight as he explains his methods to us.

“Heh-heh, the trick is that I used the carbonated water you two were just drinking.”

“Arwf? (Huh? You can use carbonated water in cooking?)”

Actually, I think the old man said something along those lines to me before, but I was too engrossed in my meal at the time to listen.

Using carbonated water in cooking, huh…? For someone like me, who survived on meals from the convenience store in his past life, it’s beyond the realm of understanding.

“You want to steep the meat for about thirty minutes before cooking it. The protein in the meat reacts with the acidity of the carbonated water to make the meat tender. Also, soaking the meat in water replenishes the moisture that will be lost while cooking, ensuring the meat is juicy.”

“Oh-ho, I don’t know all that much about cooking, but you sure do know your stuff, James. I’ve never met a chef with such a desire to learn nor a chef with half your passion. The king really made a mistake in letting you go.”

Ah, so something really did happen that caused the old man to end up here at the mansion. I guess he was once the head chef for the royal family. But now I really want to know what happened.

“Heh, I’ll be a chef no matter where I am, so long as there are people who want to eat. I just didn’t fit in there at court. I’m enjoying myself a lot more now.”

“That’s good to hear. I’m glad I lured you out here.”

“Well, you really got me out of a tough spot. I thought my goose would be cooked before I ever got to be a chef again.”

The old man makes a slicing motion across his throat, and he and Papa burst into laughter.

“Arwf… (Hey, now…)”

That’s not something to laugh about. Talk about gallows humor.

“Speaking of which, I once had a major incident regarding stolen ingredients.”

“Ahhh, you mean at that big shop where you used to apprentice? The one with the owner who was a major pain in the ass?”

“That’s the one, I just remembered. You were telling that fatty to lose weight and such before making off with the entire new shipment of meat.”

“Yeah, well, they found me out soon enough. If Lady Marianna hadn’t stepped in to save me that time, who knows what would have happened?”

The two certainly do seem to have known each other for quite some time. They’re very animated as they recall stories that only the two of them know.

“If it weren’t for that little mishap, I never would have met my wife.”

“That sure does take me back. And little Mary looks more and more like Lady Marianna every year. She’s certainly going to be a heartbreaker.”

“…S-sniff, and then, someday, she’s going to become someone’s wife, isn’t she…?!”

“Hey there, don’t start crying. It’s still way too early to be talking like that. Have another drink. We’ve still got the rest of the night ahead of us.”

This is the first time I’ve heard the name Marianna. It sounds like she’s Lady Mary’s mother, but based on the fact that I’ve never met her and what they were saying, I can only guess she’s passed away.

And with my lady’s propensity for loneliness, I’m thinking she might have passed away when Lady Mary was still pretty young.

I’m going to have to give her more snuggles that usual tomorrow.

That’s all a pet like me can really do.

“…Hmm? James, do you hear anything?”

“What?”

Still sniffling, Papa raises his head.

“It sounded like something being pounded down quite some distance away… Listen, there it was again…”

“I don’t hear anything. Maybe you’re drunk and hearing things?”

“No, I don’t think so. I’m not that drunk just yet. I definitely heard something. It went whack, whack…”

Yep, Papa’s right on the money.

I forgot about the fields.

Sounds like our friends showed up again today.

I guess that’s the end of my drinking party. I’ve got to go finish this before it escalates.

Leaving the two of them to puzzle over the noise, I slip out of the room.

I use my tail to close the door and then leap from the second-story window.

After a running start, I vault over the walls of the mansion and then make a beeline straight for the fields.

The sound of Len’s tail thumping the ground gets louder and louder, but as I reach the fields I let out a shout.

“Arwf?! (H-how many of them are there?!)”

The moon illuminates countless skeletons.

There’s practically an army of them.

“Neeeeeeeigh!! (Ghosts are scary! Ghosts are super-scaaaaaary!!)”

But you’re a ghost yourself.

I pass the stables, where Mare is freaking out, and head toward where Len is fighting the skeletons.

“Squeak! (You’re late, darling! What were you doing?!)”

Sorry, I was having fun at a guys-only party.

“Mew! (Ah! I can see the scraps around your mouth, Routa! You were having a midnight snack while we were here working!)”

“A-arwf! (W-worry about what’s happening here! Over there, over there!)”

“Meow? (Hmm?)”

A skeleton has snuck up behind the befuddled Nahura.

I make it a split second before Nahura is run through with a rusty spear.

Nahura is hidden under me as I protect her from the skeletons’ attacks.

The spears break against my hide, and I don’t take any damage.

“Arwf! (It doesn’t hurt, but it’s still scary as hell!)”

“Mew. (Whoa, thanks for that, Routa.)”

“Squeak?! (Hey, you, what do you think you’re doing with my husband?!)”

The destroyed weapons go flying before Len’s tail smashes into the skeletons a moment later.

But there are still so many of them. It’s a slow burner of an assault.

“Squeak!! (Ughh, this is so irritating!!)”

Deciding the smashing wasn’t doing enough, Len changed to sideswiping with her tail.

The skeletons are destroyed, and it will be a little bit before they’re re-formed.

But just look at the size of this army. Are we really going to have the power to defeat all of them?

“Squeak! (Hmph, it doesn’t matter how many of them there are. Weaklings are still weak!)”

Mounting my head, Len assumes an imposing stance.

“Arwf! (Phew, look at you go, Len! We can always count on you.)

Go for it, Faulks family wrecking ball number one!

Just in case you’re wondering, Zenobia is number two.

But she’s probably snoring back at the mansion right now.

Sure, she’s a former adventurer, but every time we have to wipe out monsters, she’s no use at all. Oh well. If she were here, she’d find out that we’re all monsters, too, so maybe she should just sleep this one out.

“Squeak?! (What are you saying?! Aren’t you going to help out, darling?!)”

“Meow! (Exactly. Come on, just use that super-magic of yours to wipe them out in an instant!)”

“Arwf! (Idiots! If I did that, I’d wipe out the fields or the forest or something! It’d tip off everyone in the mansion that we’ve been fighting out here!)”

And that would spell the end of my pet life, so why the hell would I do that?

“Arwf! Arwf! (Just look at Len! She’s only fighting with her tail, without reversing the entire transformation! And yet she still has to be careful to not cause a ruckus.)”

“Squeak, squeak! (Oh, wait, I forgot! If I revert completely to my dragon form my power will double! Better yet, I can immolate them with my fire spells!)”

She hasn’t been careful at all. She’s just spent so long as a mouse that she forgot she was actually a dragon.

“Woof!! (Whoa! Stop! You’ll burn the forest to the ground!!)”

“GROOOAR! (Oh well, don’t try to stop me, darling! I will cleanse them all in a sea of flame!!)”

“Woof! Woof! (Stop! I’m begging you, stop! You’re going to destroy my pet life!)”

As I’m desperately trying to hold back the meathead dragon, a black shadow leaps toward the skeletons.

The shadow tackles one of the skeletons before biting through its skull.

“Aroo! (Please excuse my lateness, my king!)”

It’s Garo, authority figure of the Fen Wolves.

“Woof! (Hey, everyone! You came!)”

“Grwl! (Of course we did! We rushed to be by your side, my king! We shall not fail you a second time!)”

The Fen Wolves, comparable to the skeleton horde in number, dive into the clattering ranks.

“Woof! Woof! (Be careful! Until their magic runs out, these guys just keep regenerating! Don’t drop your guard just because you think you’ve defeated them!)”

“Grw, grwl! (Did you hear that, you guys?! The king desires total annihilation! Kill, kill, destroy them all!)”

……No, I don’t think I said anything that disturbing, actually……

“““Ar-ar-arooo! (Kill! Kill! Kill!)”””

The wolves howl their war cries and begin to push the skeletons back.

Wow, they’re so reliable. So much so that I almost feel like I’m going to wet myself.

Wolves with lips drawn and fangs bared are terrifying.

But I should stop being intimidated by the battle. I’ve got to check on something.

“Bark, bark! (Hey, Garo! We definitely destroyed all the labyrinths, right?)”

I block a scythe on its way down, snapping it against my hide, and Garo takes the opportunity to crush the skull of the skeleton.

“Grwl! (Yes, without question! And the number of monsters in the forest influenced by their magic is dropping as well!)”

Which confirms these guys are coming from somewhere else.

That Ruler of the Dead guy—whoever he is—must be controlling them.

“Woof! Woof! (Okay, everyone! Let’s finish these guys off before anyone in the mansion notices!)”

“““Awroo! (Yes, sir!)”””

Even with their expert hunting power, it still takes the Fen Wolves a while, but the skeletons are eventually vanquished.

“N-Nightmare, you, why won’t you return to the Ruler of the Dead…?”

The final skeleton turns to look at the stables and reaches out as its body crumbles.

“Neigh! (E-eek! I don’t know any Ruler of the Dead! P-please don’t come any closer!)”

“GROOOAR!! (Hmph!!)”

Len stands in the skeleton’s way, blocking it from approaching the frightened Mare, before crushing it with her forelimbs.

“Arwf. (Aw, we should have kept him alive for questioning.)”

“GROOOAR. (We wouldn’t get anything out of loyal soldiers like these. And in the unlikely event that he did tell us anything, we’d have no way to confirm if he was telling the truth or not. You can only trust what you see with your own eyes.)”

Len just said something clever. I don’t have a response to that.

“Bark, bark…… (Yeah, but I would have at least liked to know where these guys are coming from……)”

“Grw, grwl. (My lord, it appears that these skeletons are coming from somewhere in the east.)”

“Arwf? (You know where they’re coming from?)”

“Grwl. (Sir, with our Fenris Wolf noses we should be able to track their scent back to their origin.)”

The assembled wolves bark as one, offering to take care of the tracking.

They really are dependable. They should all look forward to another reward.

“GRAAAR! (Right, let us go, my darling! Time to destroy the root of this evil!)”

“Ugh, do I have to?” is what I’d like to say, but Papa already heard something today, despite being drunk, so if another army shows up tomorrow, we’re sure to be found out.

If we’re going to do it, it has to be today.

“Arwf… (But still, Ruler of the Dead…? If what that book said is true, he’s one of the Demon Lord’s generals.)”

I just keep worrying that we might not stand a chance.

“GARO. (Hmph, the Demon Lord’s underlings are no match for you, darling.)”

“Grw, grwl. (I agree with Lady Dragon. None can stand up to you, King Routa.)”

Ughh, their shining faith in me is painful.

I’m really just a puppy, and inside I’m just a former wage slave.

Where exactly is all this misplaced faith coming from?

Have I ever shown you anything commendable? I’m almost sure I haven’t.

But if I don’t do something now, that spells the end of my pet life.

“Arwf… (Oh well, I don’t really want to do it, but I guess I have to…)”

I just want a peaceful, lazy life, so why do I keep getting myself into one mess after another?

It’s probably because that airheaded goddess doesn’t listen to people.

If I ever see her again, I’m definitely giving her a piece of my mind.

“Grwl! (Everyone! Our king heads to battle! Form ranks!)”

“““Ar-ar-aroooo! (King! King! Use us as you will!)”””

The two columns of Fen Wolves go ahead of us into the forest.

“Squeak. (If I were to fly, the people back at the mansion might notice me.)”

Back in mouse form, Len clambers up my body and takes up a spot on my head.

“Mewl. (In that case, I’ll join you up there.)”

Nahura jumps up onto my back and curls up.

“Arwf, arwf? (Do you two ever think about walking for yourselves?)”

“Squeak. (We were fighting only moments ago. Let us have a little break. Though I suppose that even if you weren’t fighting, darling, you were still watching our backs and guarding the field and the horses from being overrun.)”

Nope, that was me hanging back out of fear.

You’re completely overestimating me.

“Wh-whinny? (H-hey, guys?)”

“Arwf? (What is it?)”

“Neigh, neigh! (Why…? Why are you doing all this to protect me? Those ghost guys are only coming here because they’re after me…! Maybe I was friends with them or something!)”

Mare seems pretty stuck on what that last skeleton said.

The skeleton said to return to the Ruler of the Dead. Friend or otherwise, it does imply that Mare came from the same place as the skeletons.

“Woof. (No, things are different now.)”

“Whinny…? (How so…?)”

“Woof, woof. (You’re part of the Faulks family now. Which means you aren’t with those guys anymore.)”

“Squee. (That’s right—we may pick on you, but you’re already part of the family. We’re not going to abandon you now.)”

“Mew. (That goes for me, too.)”

Len and Nahura join me in reassuring Mare.

“Neigh… (B-but still…)”

“Arwf! (And besides, you still owe us for what you stole from the fields! You still have to work that debt off!)”

If Mare, who has been saddled with all the hard labor, were to vanish, who knows what the old man would say?

Zenobia would no doubt straight up accuse me of eating her. No doubt about it.

She definitely wouldn’t miss that opportunity.

“N-neigh…? (A-are you sure it’s okay for me to stay here…?)”

In response to Mare’s hollow-sounding question, Elusive and Grace nuzzle into her from either side.

“Neigh? (Isn’t it obvious?)”

“Whinny? (We’re family now, aren’t we?)”

“Wh-whinny… (G-Gramps… Granny…)”

Mare squeezes her tear-filled eyes shut before reopening them with renewed determination.

“Whinny! (Routa! Please let me go along with you!)”

“Arwf? (Are you sure? I’m fine with it, but aren’t you going to be scared?)”

Mare’s a bigger scaredy-cat than I am. I never thought she’d say something like that.

“Neigh! (I want to know what I really am! And more than that, I want to stay with you guys! Which means I need to tell this Ruler of the Dead person to stop sending skeletons after me!)”

“Arwf. (Okay.)”

I don’t think he’ll be the kind of person to listen to us telling him to stop, but if Mare wants to find out what she really is, who am I to tell her no?

Though she did run away once already, so if things start going south, I wonder if she’ll take off again.

Oh well. If she does, you can bet I’ll be right behind her.

“Arwf? (Well then, shall we?)”

“Neigh! (Let’s go!)”

Following after Garo and the others, we head off toward the eastern part of the forest.

But if I were to do that now, she’d just get even more angry with me, so I’d better be a good boy and head to the bath.

“A-arwf… (F-farewell, my lady, until we meet again…)”

With hands pinching noses, the maids lead me like a lamb to slaughter toward the bath, where I am thoroughly cleansed.

“Arwf? (Hey there, Mare, Elusive, Grace, how’re you all doing?)”

Thoroughly scrubbed down to the bone, I was kicked out of the bathroom by the maids with a “And don’t you come back!” After my fur dried, I headed out to the stables.

Even with our midnight battles, it doesn’t look like there’s any damage to the nearby fields.

Oh, the old man’s out inspecting those very fields.

He’s muttering about something, but it’s probably only that thing where people talk to their vegetables.

“Neigh! (I feel great! Thanks to your magic, Routa, I’m feeling much better than before!)”

Nice, very nice. Repay my magic loan with lots of hard work.

Ever since Mare showed up, the old man’s been giving me fewer and fewer chores.

Which has led to me being able to double my nap time.

“Neigh. (Thank you, Routa.)”

“Whinny. (Thank you for bringing us such a wonderful little girl. Thank you so much. Ever since you’ve arrived, this mansion has had nothing but good tidings.)”

Yeah, I wonder about that.

Sometimes it feels like I’ve brought nothing but trouble.

“Whicker. (The mistress is so much healthier, and Mr. James seems to have found a new zest for his work. Everyone in the mansion seems so much brighter, and there’s no mistaking that it’s all thanks to you.)”

Aw geez, you going on like that is making me bashful.

I’d say I’m the one who was saved. Taking on the role of pet has done wonders for me.

“…Wh-what the heck is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis?!”

Whoa, what’s going on?!

The old man’s yell suddenly rings out from the fields.

“Arwf, arwf? (Hey, old man, what is it?)”

I run over to where he’s fallen backward.

“M-m-my vegetables… My vegetables…!”

“Arwf? (The vegetables?)”

I follow his gaze.

And there—

“Arwffff! (They’re huuuuuuuuge!)”

The tops of massive carrots are popping up out of the ground.

But not just carrots. All the vegetables surrounding the carrot patch are giant.

“Squee. (Those look big enough to feed us for a long while.)”

To avoid being seen by the old man, Len’s murmuring from her position tucked away in my fur.

“Arwf, arwf. (Now, let’s not get carried away. But still, what’s with this size?)”

They’re too big for the old man to pull with both hands. They’ve got to be a couple hundred kilos at least.

“Squee? (Well, it’s got to be that, right?)”

And exactly what is that?

Seems like Len has some idea as to what’s happened.

“Squeak, squeak? (Darling, isn’t this around where you urinated?)”

The first time I saw one of those grim reaper–looking skeletons, I guess I did pee myself a little bit out of surprise.

And then Len shattered the skeleton with her tail.

“Squeak. (Well, that would be it. It looks like Fenrir urine mixed with undead bone dust makes for good fertilizer for the fields.)”

Huh? My piss has that much of an effect?

…Do you think it’s okay to eat these?

“Squeak, squeak… (They’re certainly unusual, but they shouldn’t cause any harm. Rather, they should be packed with nutrients and do nothing but good for the body. It could probably even be classified as a magical medicine. Were we to take them to market, they would no doubt command a hefty sum…)”

For real? I just unknowingly created a new magic item.

“Squeak. (My urine has a similar effect. The grasses you took when you came to my lair are quite similar.)”

Ah, the wonder drug that I needed to save my lady.

The wyrmnil, I believe it was called.

The precious magical medicine that could never be found in the marketplace.

And yet was growing all over Len’s lair.

A veritable field of shining wyrmnil, growing at the end of the cave.

“Squeak. (Yes, yes, exactly. It grows all over my toilet area. I thought it strange that you wanted such a thing.)”

…What? Toilet?

Did you just say toilet?!

“W-woof! Woof?!! (Wh-what did you make my lady drink?!!)”

“Squeak?! (Wh-what?! Isn’t it thanks to that herb that she’s doing better?! You should be thanking me instead of yelling at me! You can’t find another magical herb that compares to grass watered with dragon urine! Maybe you want to try drinking it directly?!)”

“Woof! Woof (Shut up already! Wyrmnil?! More like Urinil!)”

After all, wyrmnil is an extract of the magical properties of dragon urine.

Heh, what a name. I’ll have to introduce whoever named wyrmnil to one of my vomit beams.

“Whinny! (Carrots! Carrots! Look at them!)”

At least Mare is excited.

With this much, I can imagine a fair amount will be going to her and the other horses.

But still, what’s the old man going to do with these giant vegetables?

“Heh, heh-heh-heh. Are these meant to challenge me?”

Whoops, looks like he’s getting excited, too.

“I’ve no lack of subjects to test new recipes on! You guys! I’m leaving the poison checking to you!”

Poison checking?! Not sampling?!

Sure, the ingredients are strange, but still!

Oh well, not even the undead could upset my stomach, and they were in fact pretty tasty.

And I wouldn’t want my lady to be served anything that might be dangerous, after all.

Okay then, bring it on!

“Whinny! (Me, too! I’ll test, too! Please!)”

We ate a lot of vegetable dishes after that.